I don't know what is wrong with me. For those unacquainted with me, I am in my eighth day of sobriety. Realized at 30 that I am an alcoholic. Although I was not an everyday drinker, giving it up for good seems to be really messing with my head.
On my first day sober, I was out of town (that's where the epiphany happened), and while packing, I seem to have left behind one of two flipflops and the book I was reading (Rant, by Chuck Palahniuk - too bad; I love this books). Anyway, throughout the week, I have been making little mistakes here and there, but today was the worst. I went to the ATM, went to take out money, took my card out, and didn't realize until 10 minutes later that I hadn't received any money. Not sure if the machine malfunctioned or if I was distracted (realized while at the machine that I had dropped a pen I needed for another errand), but I don't remember this sort of thing happening before. On the way out of my apartment before this, I nearly locked myself out until my wife asked me to lock the door the deadbolt. I always do that anyway, but it was not until then that I realized that I didn't have my keys, or the tickets to the baseball game I was leaving to go to later.
Has anyone else had anything like this happen? Does it get better? It made me very depressed, and I don't know if I am even safe carrying on like this, which scares me, because I am only 30 years old and should not be feeling like this.
I have been trying to keep my mind active, doing things like keeping score at the baseball game, counting every pitch, not easy when 15 batters come up in an inning. The fact that my team won by 17 runs also helped cheer me up, and no, I was not tempted at any point to have a beer at the ballgame on a Saturday afternoon - beer would have made my need bathroom breaks, which would have resulted in missing pitches. So big picture, I guess, is OK, but still some bad stuff going on from time to time.
Even if no one has any advice (going to the shrink on Thursday, anyway), thanks for listening.
A lot of strange things have happened to most of us, I would say, when we first quit drinking; even those of us who also didn't hit the bottle every day. It's hard to say if that is what is affecting you, though.
It's a good thing that you are seeing a doctor (when you say "shrink", I assume you mean psychiatrist). Be sure to fill him in on all your history, and he will be much better able to make a call than any of us here. Good luck!
Hi and welcome John I have had a lot of problem...wen i sober up ....i was a everyday drinker ...was in detox 5 days ...in a fog for a long time ....It did get better ....if you are new ........do you have a Big Book AA ...if not you can find it online good reading is the Doctors Opinion all threw to chapter 5 ...it is the expierince of the first 100 Men and Woman....and in the back is some personal stories which are great ...because you said that trying to keep your mind active.
Hi John, "Blackouts" from what is understood are things one does, yet does not remember them. (From what was told by his children, my brother-in-law had them. He was a heavy drinker and contrary to you on a daily basis. His kids and wife would tell him what he had done and he had no recollect what-so-ever. At times he had no idea where he was or how even got to a place. Pretty scary.) I have no medical degree nor have I ever experienced them. What I have read is that even nondrinkers can experience them because of some unknown physical condition. While alcohol can cause the brain to go awry, it maybe a good idea to check with a physician as well as a pyschiatrist. Having a thorough medical check up might be wise. It would at least put your mind at ease knowing. From what you said in your post, it could be that subconciously this new way of life is making you anxious. In other words, one can have something bothering them though they may not be outright thinking of it all the time. Sort of like a smoker quiting smoking.... their hand gestures can go through the motions absent mindly. Giving yourself time to adjust. And lastly, we all have those times where we can't seem to get our act togethor and we do some silly things. Even things we do out of habit/ritual can go awry. Have done certain things a million times and for some unknown reason......I misplace, forgot, leftout, ect. It may be that you are associating EVERY LITTLE thing to the alcohol and worrying for nothing. At any rate....it is good to know you keep coming back. It is also good to hear you have 8 days of sobriety. Congrats. on that accomplishment. And lastly, yes, seeking a professional advice (physchiatrist and/or doctor), beyong this board and the experiences of others is a very wise idea. Let us know how it is going. Wishing you the best. Wanda
Hi John... I am 24 so I know what you mean when you say that you are realizing it young! I quit drinking 5 months ago so I am still pretty new to this whole thing myself, but my memory was not so good. I believe it may have been the stress of quitting drinking (which was pointed out to me). A couple months into sobriety I was thinking back to my dads bdays (which was 3 weeks after my last drink) and I was wondering what we did for his bday... I was awake for hours that night stressing about how I think I forgot his bday. The next morning I called my mother and asked her, she informed me that the weekend of my dads bday my parents came up here to Ct from NC (where they live) and I had in fact taken the whole weekend off from work and we went to dinner and to my sister in laws for cake. This is something that I should remember but for some reason I do not. It was actually full days that I could not remember from a few months before. It just so happened that all those things that I could not remember in the past were not too long after I quit drinking. I went to the dr and got an MRI and it was normal. So I believe that since my body was use to having booze in it at all times it was in a sort of shock - which makes sense when you look at the brain anatomy and what booze does to your body system... I think it is a good idea you are going to talk to someone... let us know how everything is going! This is my story but may be a different case in yours! Jamie
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"Advice is what you ask for when you already know the answer but wish you didn't"
Hi ya John. I was binger.....Rarely drank 2 days in a row, unless on vacation or it was a holiday :)
Yep. All sorts of crazy s&^t starting happening.......Locked my keys in my car TWICE in one day. Bought milk on the way home 2 dys in a row.. forgot my long time co-workers name completely for about a minute.....just to name a couple things....it got better....there are all sorts of things that happen when we get sober, to our bodies and our minds.
Rule of thumb, it will take one month for every year you drank before the fog really lifts......But hang in there. It's worth it and not nearly as bad as drunken blackouts, huh?
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
We are not doctors here so proffesional advice should be sought.
Me, i had the concentration span of a newt ! Memory blanks......lost my way to my grans house ! Unable to recall filmstars names when watching films or musicians when listening to music (stuff i knew i knew) incredibly frustrating.....It passed.
I also became obsessive about order routine and ritual.......that passed too.
