I managed to stay sober 5 days last week which is getting better so i am proud of that and today i have got up and got back on the wagon and working on just today. Health wise i feel rubbish and very emotional cant stop crying which does not happen hardly ever as i dont show my feelings i know it,s just the day after feeling, but it,s so crap and i just wish i would learn from it, i guess thats the alcoholic.
I love the days i am sober. I really want them for the rest of my life as there brillant. Others want mega holiday,s, big houses , someone to love. What i want is to be sober for ever. I realised today i dont even know how long i will stay sober for and that upsets me as each hangover i think this is going to be the last and it scarys me as i can not trust myself. I cant beleieve this is me and i think what has happened it feels like i got here so fast and had no idea at all i was heading for this.
I am realising more and more how good AA is all though i have not spoken yet in AA, listening to the shares and knowing i am not alone really really helps. This site really is a life saver as even though i am on my own at home i dont feel it thanks to you all. Thank you
I have just read Just For Today a card i was given when i first went to AA. It reminded me and gave me the answer to one of the things i put in my above post. Which was i want to stay soberand it upsets me that i dont know if i can do this, reading this card and working on just today will really help so i am going to really work on this , i knopw it will be hard as i plan and am a control freak.
Don't worry about feeling emotional as I think that it is pretty normal. I know that I drank on every emotion, until I didn't have any left. Then, without the alcohol, I wasn't sure how to handle any emotion. Just hang in there and it really will get better.
And, there is no pressure on you to say anything in an AA meeting unless you want to. I know lots of people who didn't say anything for a long time, but they still needed and wanted the strength that is found in the rooms of AA.
The Just For Today card is really terrific and helps me a lot. There are so many things that I can face one day at a time, but the thought of doing them for years scares me.
Please keep posting and letting us know how things are going for you, won't you?
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Thank you guys for your replies. I feel alot better in myself today, though i know i still have to work each day on staying sober. Bit tired though not so depressed. Thanks and i will keep comming back and letting you know how i am getting on.
i know it,s just the day after feeling, but it,s so crap and i just wish i would learn from it, i guess thats the alcoholic. 