We all know what it feels like to feel guilty about something and many of us struggle with feeling guilty all the time. Guilt makes us feel that we are somehow unforgivable. While this experience is common, it is detrimental to our overall wellbeing. Feeling guilty generally promotes a sense of powerlessness-an anguished agonizing over a past action that cannot be changed. The problem with this is that it doesn't inspire us to forgive ourselves, make amends for mistakes, and move forward free of emotional baggage.
Originally, guilt referred to the fine paid for proven wrongdoing. Once you made the payment, in time or money, for what you had done, you were free-free of the sentence and free of the guilt. The problem with guilt as it is often experienced now is that it becomes a permanent state of mind for some people. In this case, it is a neurotic preoccupation rather than a fair assessment of wrongdoing followed by a course of action that leads to reparation.
It is part of the human experience to make mistakes and hurt others. There is no way to avoid this entirely, and wallowing in guilt will not help you or anyone else. It will not prevent future suffering. Understanding this is the first step towards liberating yourself from guilt.
If you are hanging onto guilt about something, the first thing you need to do is practice compassion for yourself; you are human and you make mistakes. Compassion and self-forgiveness are much more effective than guilt in helping you determine a course of effective action. You may need to make an apology, or you may need to make some changes in yourself. Know that with each action you create healing for yourself and anyone you have hurt. Finally, learn from your mistakes, but never beat yourself up. Know that you are inherently good, love yourself, and always do your best. Then there will be no place for guilt in your life.
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"Never argue with an idiot... They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience..."
Great post, another reminder to help with one's program. I've learned that forgivin your self helps you move on, that' s one of the first things I've learned to do, and will it has help.
I realize that forgivin myself and be honest with myself helps me be honest with others and have a better realization with those around me.
Excellent post. Today is day 31 of my sobriety, and the 3rd longest I have gone without a drink since I was 13 years old. Much of what has lead me to drink has been guilt over things that resulted from drinking. A nasty spiral that kept me down and one that has been incredibly difficult to see through. Reading that post gave me a sense of relief and hope. Thanks.
