One day, my mother and I were working together in the garden. We were transplanting some plant for the third time. Grown from seed in a small container, the plants had been transferred to a larger container; then transplanted into the garden. Now, because I was moving, we were transplanting them again.
Inexperienced as a gardener, I turned to my green-thumbed mother. "Isn't this bad for them?" I asked, as we dug them up and shook the dirt from their roots. "Won't it hurt these plants, being uprooted and transplanted so many times?"
"Oh, no," my mother replied. "Transplanting doesn't hurt them. In fact, it's good for the ones that survive. That's how their roots grow strong. Their roots will grow deep, and they'll make strong plants."
Often, I've felt like those small plants - uprooted and turned upside down. Sometimes, I've endured the change willingly, sometimes reluctantly, but usually my reaction has been a combination.
Won't this be hard on me? I ask. Wouldn't it be better if things remained the same? That's when I remember my mother's words: That's how the roots grow deep and strong.
Today, God, help me remember that during times of transition, my faith and my self are being strengthened.
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Hi Carol. What a wonderful, perfect thing to read right now. I've just spent two days in this sort of numb mode--y'know, you get overwhelmed and start running on neutral because you aren't too sure how you're supposed to act or feel?
California State child placement called me yesterday afternoon. I thought this issue had already been settled, and so we've been going about our business--like, totally redoing the spare room into a hobby room for my hubby so he could set up a very complex model train "town", LOL.
Well, it seems that plans have ricocheted all over the place regarding my grandaughter, 13. Her Mom is nowhere to be found, my son can't take her, time is running out, and would I please allow the state to do the background check and come and inspect our home, because she wants to live with us? Or would I prefer she be placed into the system for adoption? Holy shmoley. 9 months ago I went thru a huge dance with the system down there regarding this, and oh they were going to take care of it, get her reunited with her Dad, etc. and no, they didnt need me to be approved or do any paperwork, etc. And suddenly, living in a 960 sq ft cabin, only one real bedroom..well, you can guess. So now we disemble the hobby room and the complicated train works, figure out how to buy a proper dresser, etc. for her (because the state of course has certain requirements), and perhaps by the time school begins, I will be raising a little girl with attachment disorder (therapy will be set up upon her arrival). I guess we can have hot flashes together.
Reading your post, I realized that the biggest thing happening is fear--how will I do this, can I do this? We live in the woods, how will I keep her busy? There are no children (53 in our whole school system). My whole life is going to do the C word, sure enough. And I'm scared that I won't handle it well. Or that Ron will nut up with a hyper-chatty little girl with problems around. We barely made it thru a two week visit last summer....oi vey.
I read your post and I thought, okay, now I've identified why my heart is aching right now. I'm simply afraid of failure and change. And I need to look at it like the post---our roots will be stronger, and Tessa's roots stand a much better chance at strength being with us instead of being shuffled around foster care agencies. I need to see this as a positive. ( I also need to get over my anger with my eldest for backing off on taking her.)
Potential for alot of growth here, if I can shake off this fear and do what needs to be done. Very very timely, Carol, thank you. Sorry for rambling, this has been bouncing in my head for nearly two days, no meetings available, and I just wander around trying to figure out how we'll do it. Well, I guess we just will, eh? Hugs, Chris
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"Never argue with an idiot... They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience..."
What a sudden change this could be for you. I can so understand you being in numb mode for a few days. I simply wouldn't know what to do or think if I were you.
Fear is a real crippler. I felt pretty much numbed out yesterday after a visit to see my GP, and then I worked out that it was fear that had taken over my emotions. I had to hand it all over and that's when I started to feel more peaceful. It's amazing, but it really does work.
I so hope that things will work out well for you, Chris. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.
(((Hugs)))
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
