I am a young woman, five months into the program and doing really well. I go to meetings almost every day and am very helpful whereever needed. I have been attending round-ups and really trying to get involved. I am however, have a hard time finding a sponsor.
Ideally, if even just a temporary one, I am searching for someone to help me with a set of steps. I have done upto step four and plan to do my fifth with a minister... maybe... lol... but i'd really like to have some guidance from someone with long term sobriety who maybe isn't super "old school" because like most, my life is very un-norm, and I have a lot of skeletons i'm shedding right now.
If you think you can help, or have some advise, I'd appreciate it.
Thanks!
C in Vancouver
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Your storm is never bigger than your God. Your God is bigger than your storm...
Hi C, welcome to MIP. Which Vancouver are you in? I'm in Washington State, out in the rainforest.
I did my 5th with a priest. It went really well. Being dual addicted, I sort of did it in stages---the first part regarding the drug abuse, and then what I did as a drunk. Every once in awhile, I wonder if I can hear one of those skeletons rattling around outside. They can be buggers.
It's so good to do the f2f if possible. The "oldtimers" have heard it all and can really guide you through it. Even oldtimers have their skeletons...really.
How wonderful that you've gotten into the program as a young person. I was 32 before I really started working it. Back then, I was considered young for the program. Boy, not anymore.
Perhaps you could get a temp sponsor to help you til you find someone you connect with? Both Vancouvers are pretty big, so maybe just searching a few new meetings until you find someone you can click with? I imagine that tomorrow (whoops, later today) when the Eastern folks are up, you'll get alot of suggestions. In the meantime, glad you're here! warmly, Wren (Chris)
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"Never argue with an idiot... They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience..."
Welcome to MIP. It's a super place to be and there are some wonderful and helpful folk here. It certainly adds a quality to my sobriety.
I did my 5th with my sponsor. I wondered how that would feel, but it was fine for me. It was also good afterwards when she talked about her character defects to me. I didn't feel nearly so bad then.
I do hope that you'll be able to find a good sponsor. I chose my sponsor as her story and background were pretty similar to mine. But, I know other people who have chosen somebody who is very different from themselves. But, when I was looking, I needed to be able to open up to someone that I felt I had something in common with. And, it works just fine.
Maybe you could find a temporary sponsor until you find someone more permanent. If you live in a large area (and it sounds as if you do ... I'm from UK) then trying a few different meetings would get you meeting different people. I had a woman ask if I would be her temporary sponsor back in November and I am still her sponsor now.
I do hope that it works out for you. I also hope that you'll keep coming back here and posting to let us know how things are going for you.
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
I have been looking for a sponsor for almost two months.
I had a really nice lady lined up with 27 years under her belt who I was hopeful would work out but then it turned out I could only call her at certain times on her way home from work, and then she moved and she has a lot of drama in her life already... so it didn't quite work out.
I got to a different meeting every night. I guess one will come along when they are supposed to, right?
Has anyone done the Navalco series? I am joining this step group in the fall...
Do you think an on-line sponsor is not good??
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Your storm is never bigger than your God. Your God is bigger than your storm...
I just moved to a new city so I understand how difficult it is to put yourself out there and find someone to trust with your life story. But you don't have to trust someone with your life story the first time you get together! Personally I think it matters more that you are doing something for your sobriety than if you pick the "right" sponsor the first time.
Personally I was afraid to get a sponsor because I was afraid of commiting to the steps. My first sponsor wasn't "right", and I stopped working with her. I felt guilty about it, but I got another sponsor right away. My first sponsor drank. My second took me through the steps, shared her experience, and gave me good (very basic) advice. Others have suggested a temporary sponsor - it really doesn't matter how you do it, so long as you are moving forward.
I've never done online meetings or chats or anything, but I'm trying something new because I have some extra time and honestly, I don't feel as connected going to meetings full of new faces. I'm showing up at meetings, but I just felt I needed something more for now. It's reminding me how hard it is to be new - so thanks for your honesty about your current struggle. And if it gives you any hope - I got sober at 17 and am now 22 years sober. If that can happen for me, it can happen for ANYONE!!
I would suggest that at the very next meeting, you just stand up and let the group know you are ready and willing to work with anyone who wishes to take you through the steps. Just make sure they have worked them themselves. Make sure they have a sponsor that has taken them through. Thats it. Dont look for just the right sponsor to come along, or you might miss out on the one your HP sends you...... :)))
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My warranty on tomorrow has run out. My guarantee on the past is void. Nothing is going my way... and I like it like that.
I'm picky about who I choose to be my sponsor too, and I advise other people to be picky too. There are some people who are very eager 'two steppers', who, if you tell a group you will accept the first one who offers, will offer first and then teach you their easier softer way. I agree with the temp sponsor idea, and also, I used to consult with people after the formal meeting, and I have a few that I call when I need to call someone,, so there is guidance even without an official sponsor. I like the 'twelve steps and twelve traditions' book too, and we use that at our step meetings. People online can be helpful in working the program, but it is not the same as the right f2f sponsor relationship.
take what you need and leave the rest,
love in recovery,
amanda
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
The meeting was in a place I first took acting classes many many years ago. It has sinse been turned into a new establishment... and the owner of the company happened to be chairing the meeting, and also happened to be my very fisrt boss ever. Him and his wife have been in the program 18 and 24 years. I had no idea that they were in the program when I knew them, and I havent seen them in almost 9 years. My HP was working for me last night. ALSO the meeting turned out to be a grapevine meeting, and we read an excerpt called HELP THE YOUNG PEOPLE IDENTIFY. Its on page 32/33 and it was SOOOOOO a story for me.
She, the wife, was not there... had she been there I would have asked her right away to temp-sponsor me through the steps.. i think it was just so perfect. I called her today to see if she was going to a meeting so I could meet up with her this week though... and i NEVER use my phone numbers, so that was a big step for me.
I'm taking 6 months this week. wow.
I am really feeling something in me today...
just wanted to share. thanks
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Your storm is never bigger than your God. Your God is bigger than your storm...
