I'm very tempted right now...

Tipsy McStagger · Senior Member

I'm very tempted right now...

Dave Harm · Senior Member

Oh man can I relate. It has been a rotten couple of months - heck a year. Bill collectors calling about overdue medical bills. My wife's health hasn't been the best. Step-daughter got herself wrapped up in the addiction "game" at age 16 and last month tried suicide. Now going through recovery and I'm the evil step-parent.

It hurts a lot because I've raised this girl from when she was five years old and actually am the only "dad" she has ever known. Work has been the s----.

And every day I drive home wondering how much more can I take... than in a moment of clarity I realize that if I drank, it might "feel good" for a little bit... than months of shame (if I didn't drink again) - If I kept on drinking who'd care? I know I'd lose my wife, my job, my Higher Power... all of it for some quick relief.

For me, it ain't worth it. The reality is that I'm an alcoholic who even after a few years in recovery is still trying to learn how to cope with life's curveballs.

I am truly thankful that my present wife has never seen me drunk. None of my co-workers have never seen me drunk. None of my step-children or grandkids have ever seen me drunk. That little capsule of gratitude makes the pains of "real life" bearable.

Even though I'm an alcoholic, I still have a choice. Nothing is stopping me from getting drunk, but thankfully today I'd rather be sober...

Wren · MIP Old Timer

Hey Tipsy,

Oh, there doesn't have to be a "why". It's just what we alcoholics feel at times. I guess if we didn't, we'd be called something else, eh?

Sometimes it's cuz I've done something right and think I should be able to "treat" myself. Or I've done something not so right, and it's a good buffer between myself and what I"m actually feeling.
Sometimes it's a tv commercial. And sometimes it's just because I want to. But my brain knows how to take it from "yeah, it would be such a relief" right to "if I dont die first, will I ever make it back?".
It's an insidious progressive disease. Have any phone numbers yu can call?
Kudos for coming onto the board with this. Remember, it's just for today.
, love Chris

-- Edited by Wren at 19:16, 2007-06-27

Doll · MIP Old Timer

We drink because we're alcoholics. We want to drink because we're alcoholics. That's why they call it alcohol-ISM, not alcohol-WASIM

If you don't give in, it WILL pass. Promise. Call someone...post some more....go for a walk.....do something, but just don't drink....even if your ass falls off.

destinydreamer · Senior Member

Tipsy I just saw your post and I hope you are doing ok. Remember that the feeling you are having will fade... too many good things will come with sobriety... why throw it all away because you are having a moment of weakness? Believe me. it will pass... it has before! For me, the guilt and shame of having that drink will make it not worth the fun that I may or likely may not have for just one night. If I pick up a drink who knows where I will end up... I may not be so lucky next time... remember there is a reason you quit. Try to go back and find that reason and hold onto it... don't ever forget it! You would not have come this far if you did not want this for yourself... This is all just my opinion... Hope everything is getting better... one minute at a time... For this minute I will be sober! Keep posting Tipsy! Glad you are here...

Quetzal · MIP Old Timer

Hi Tipsy,

I have just seen your post and I really do hope that the feeling will have passed for you. When I first stopped drinking the thought of having another drink was always with me, even though I really knew that I was an alcoholic.

But, these thoughts do pass and life gets so much better. Now, I never really think about picking up a drink no matter what life throws at me.

As Jen said, 'phone someone, or go for a walk and or keep posting here. I found that keeping myself busy really did help. And, it was great to be able to 'phone another recovering alcoholic as they knew exactly where I was. It was good to know that I wasn't on my own. You're not on your own, either.

Please let us know how things go for you, won't you?

Take care,

Carol

Phil · MIP Old Timer

I remember those big urges to "Take a F**k It All Pill" and go tie one on...

Damned complusion never subsided for 270 days...and even after that there were moments....

Had to go to meetings meetings and more meetings...

A long timer told me once...

"If you dont remember the consequenses of your last drunk...then...maybe you havent had it yet.."

I'd get feeling better....and life would get better....and I'd try it again...

And every time it would get worse...

Acceptance and total Surrender ....was a hard trip for this kid...

Take care of number one eh...

Bryan39 · Senior Member

Hey Tipsy , I hope everything's ok to summarize the advice you've gotten: If there's a reason something your tempted to drink over taker action to fix it or talk to someone go to a meeting take action to let it go , if you want a drink just "because" go do something go to a meeting pursue a hobby go do soemthing , keeping myself busy helps me alot.

God Luck

Y.I.F.

Bryan