I'm having a really difficult time right now...cant seem to keep the "just for today" philosophy in my mind. I keep thinking about things in terms of "never", "forever" and "the rest of my life"...I don't think I have what it takes to do anything for the rest of my life. It makes everything seem so futile.
Blah...
why is this happening? How can I go from being so happy and feeling so good to feeling so shitty? I know how the movie ends so why do I even consider it?
I think that's normal at this stage, ,our minds running overtime. If I think of sobriety as a forever thing that would be too overwhelming. I really adhere to "just for today" I choose not to drink. I can keep a promise to myself for ten minutes, or an hour or a day, but beyond that I can only pray that I make wise choices. It's such a disease of insanity, isn't it?
Not every day is a good day. I may feel, physically, alot better than I did 'x' number of days/weeks ago, but my brain is going to have good and bad days regardless. Or days where I feel spiritually motivated, and days that I"m just falling short. Don't put expectations on yourself, gads, you're only human. Allow yourself to be up and down, and trust that as time passes you'll have more ups than downs. Expressing your feelings is a good thing, Tipsy. It gets them out of your head a bit, and in front of you. Keep posting. And what was the name you gave yourself, oh last year I think? a big hug, Chris
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"Never argue with an idiot... They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience..."
Hey there Tipsy. Wow! aren't those thoughts so normal (and familiar)? As has been stated above, a day, hour minute or even second at a time is all that's needed to focus on. DON'T look at forever. Find a substitute for a bit to hold in your hand and go through the motions. I have a tea habit now. Learned to love it and always have a cup with me. It works for me. Good fortune and good to see you giving it another go. Hope this is "the" one. Good fortune...tim
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"We posess the eyes through which the universe gazes with wonder upon its own majesty."
In the early days when I stopped drinking my moods would be all over the place. I'd be feeling really great one minute, and utterly down the next. I think that it is par for course in early sobriety. They do settle down fairly quickly.
I know that I don't have what it takes to face anything for the rest of my life. That's why just doing it one day at a time works for me.
As for a lobotomy ... I would have thought that meetings would be less painful!!!
Just hang in there and keep posting, won't you?
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
I can well remember the early days when I would get up in the mornings. My head was already ten miles down the road before my feet hit the floor!
This too shall pass, I promise...
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"There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguements and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance-that principle is contempt prior to investigation."
~Herbert Spencer
I remember those feelings. I wanted to run through the steps, I wanted my sober time to add up so quickly. I projected my recovery, just as I've projected my whole life. I couldn't wait to get that one year! I found myself jealous of those who had more time than me....Guess what! I didn't make it. Got drunk at 10 months! After being out for a month or 2, I started again. Honestly I couldn't tell you my sobriety date. I quit counting. Counting doesn't work for me. I take it one day at the time, some days it's one hour or minute. And even if my ass falls off I will not drink......I learned, if I pick up the phone or the BB, instead of a drink, the urge will pass. The more time I didn't drink the less those urges became....Asking God to grant me the gift of sobriety and remove the craving was a big help......Just hang on. If you want to stay sober, it's up to you. You have to take the time to find what works for you...Listen to others, I mean really listen, take what you think will help you and use it......Prayers going up
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
Maybe this will help you....... Do we know how long the rest of our lives are? The answer is of course not. It could be one hour, tomorrow or 30yrs from now. We DO KNOW we have NOW, right this second. So take the moments as they come...... A house is never built in a day. It starts with ground work.....literally messing with the dirt to ready it for the foundation. Right now it is ground work.....little increments of time to cope with. Then the foundation, ect ect. Each step gets easier and before one knows it ...... the house is standing solidly built. Don't beat yourself up for the feelings...... They will gradually subside. As Chris said you are human. Hang in there.....we're on your side and prayin' for you. Wanda PS You found the courage to share this. that in itself if a biggy in this journey.
There is something called 'the pink cloud', which is a stage of very good feelings right after we quit drinking and our bodies are recovering,, this doesn't last though,, because then,,, life happens with all its stuff,,, and now we are looking at it dry and it puts us in a real spot. Whereas before our solution was to get drunk,,,, if that is not an option now,,, what do we do? Now starts the real recovery,,,, changing our stinking thinking!! Now is time for the meetings, the Big Book,, the 'Twelve Steps and Twelve Tradtions' book,, the slogans and all of the rest of it. The 12 Step program,, in the long run helps us to be more than just miserable dry drunks and on into happier and healthier people living good lives!
love in recovery,
amanda
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
