Uhm. Well. Okay, I"m trying to remember......LOL, I read this and thought okay, Experience--yup. Strength= endurance. Hope=it means there's hope for me yet.

The only suggestion I have is enjoy it like we try to enjoy everything else--one day at a time. I wouldnt try to analyze it or complicate it. Expectations and projections are just a let down waiting to happen. Relish in what you have this moment. I know that you're alanon, so I try to see it from that point, and it's hard for me. But as an A, I know that as soon as anyone starts trying to pinpoint me or expecting anything from me, I feel trapped. That's just me, tho. Being intimate, especially in the beginning, whether it was physical or emotional, had to be a "lets just enjoy it for what it is now". When the word committment got tossed into the mix, I'd run like hell. I'd been "committed" for too long to alcohol, and all I wanted to do was live and experience life for a few years before I made any decisions of where I'd be this time next year. So, in trying to see things from an A perspective, I would have probably stayed longer in a few relationships  had expectations not been placed on me. I was a runner, and if things got too serious, jeez, I'd have my roller skates on and be whipping on down the road. I'd try just going easy, and like I said, take it and enjoy it for what it is just this moment in time, the rest will unfold the way it's supposed to. It always does. Just my opinion.  Chris

Reminds me of


"I firmly believe lust and passionate sex are the basis and foundation stones of a healthy relationship" ~ Unknown

Unknown is an IDIOT!  

-- Edited by Doll at 14:51, 2007-06-13

I've found sometimes that great sex doesn't have as much to do with sex as it does with extenuating circumstances- for me it's being with someone special, for some people it's various things like cheating or getting away with something, running the risk of getting caught- any number of things.

I've also found that sex is generally overrated until the time that it isn't- great sex is great- but for the most part few and far between.

I've also found that a lot of times it's great at the beginning- like relationships generally are- and then maybe becomes a little ho-hum after a bit- like relationships generally are. I've always wondered what the longevity of things would be should one actually find someone they're just crazy about and vice-versa and the two fall in love and things just go on like the beginning forever. That would be absolutely epic, I think.

I've been thinking a bit about love and life and infatuation. I think its the not knowing that intrigues me a lot of the time. The pursuit- the wanting and not having, the imagining but not really knowing- everything perfect because reality doesnt have much of a hand in fantasy. Getting to have whatever it is youre after tends to eventually render the "magic" ineffective. In the light of day nearly all of us turn into pumpkins. After a while Ive quit hungering so for that magic I once felt and instead I just appreciate the anomaly of it lurking back there somewhere in my murky past.

These days I really enjoy the stupid stuff- turning off the radio and rolling down the windows and just driving and thinking and listening to nothing, stopping spur of the moment for a chili dog on the beach, small kids and puppies still playing fair, getting a tiny glimpse into the situation of some young couple that still cant get enough of each other, sunsets and sunrises, frank honesty with no ax to grind, waking up without a hangover, going to sleep because Im tired, Miles Davis and Coltrane (okay- those arent little things.)

Anyhow- just thought I'd better surface before someone sent out a search party. Ally- it sounds like you're on to something good. Aloha- Toby

-- Edited by TLH at 02:51, 2007-06-14