Hi Daniella.  My name is Daniel, and I am an alcoholic in North Dakota, USA.

I believe we are all sensitive folks.  I think that has something to do with causing some of our "ism's".  I know that I most certainly have to watch my tendency to be oversensitive to others.

I know that I frequently don't get a lot of response when I add a comment to someone else's post, and sometimes even when I put up a post of my own.  I try not to read anything into peoples' responses or lack thereof, as I have seen lots of folks misunderstand each other both here and out in the rest of my world. 

I do also worry that anything I post might be taken in a light which I have not intended.  I do sometimes believe that has happened also.  I do also know, however, that I have made some really marvelous friends on this board.

You seem to me to be a nice person.  Most of the folks you meet here and elsewhere, really are basically the same; all have good intentions.  Relax dear heart...go with the flow... 

I have found that I get more from reading what others have to say, and I come here and read a lot, including your comments.  I sometimes do that without ever responding.  I only hope that everyone doesn't think me a miser for not offering more reflections myself.

i value you, i like your posts, i like you too. sorry for not letting you know. forgive me?

Gosh, Danielle, I ditto what Jamie said. I always read your posts.

Your feelings are valid whether we agree with them or not--if you feel that we arent responsive to your posts, then that is the way you feel.

I rarely begin a post myself. Very rarely. I'll respond on occassion, or post something I think others may like, but, like alot of us, I feel that if I write something it might not be interesting to anyone else. There are a million responses that buzz around my head, but do I get them into writing? Nope. Because my alcoholic thinking tells me that what I have to say isn't as important as what others have to say.

I finally gave myself a lecture, oh, about a year ago. It was all about listening to others. And if nobody responded to something I said, I had to remind myself, I'm writing this for the newcomer. I may say just one sentence that might hit home with someone. So even if nobody ever responds to me on the forum, just maybe I'll still help someone with what I express.

We are all a tad insecure about our worthiness, I believe. Being on the board isn't like being in a f2f, where we are making eye contact, and someone can hear the fluctuation in our voices, or the emotions. We're looking at words and putting our own slant to them as we read. That's so different.

I do value your posts and sharings. I always love to read what so many of you post, because your words are the words that help me stay sober.  I'm in a town that just recently began to have its own meeting! So I rely heavily on the board. You do put yourself out there for us. And it does help alot of us. I will try to be better at responding, but that means you have to read my often inane ramblings. Pretty soon you'll tell me to shut up. You're doing so well, and I should have said it sooner.....a big hug  Chris

Danielle,

It is absolutely okay, in my book, to ask for affirmation  i believe it is a sign of progress.......I now value myself and want to know i am valued and greater progress when we ask for these needs to be met  I still struggle with this one and by not letting know my needs they cannot be met and can lead to resentment ( the enemy) I often fester doing all things domestic when i have plenty willing helpers who simply can't define what needs done so i learn to ask, sometimes the answers are not the ones i want and i have to accept that thats okay too, i tend to take things personally As always balance is key i can do the thing when my voice goes eight octives higher and my mouth says fine thats okay don't worry as my stomach twists or i can do what the f**k do you mean blah blah blah

I love what you posted and read your other posts too, you actually sound well and it is difficult to think of you as a newcomer. Glad to have you here and keep posting

-- Edited by alligot at 04:12, 2007-06-11

Howdy Gal!!

Used to pour my heart on this board....and got a lot of sharing and support in return...

If one is hurting....we are all there for them, in whatever capacity we can be..without debate....or the "You should...You must...etc. stuff"

Some posts that are put on here...are simply take what you want, and leave the rest, and are not always responded to...

Ive had a couple of complaints lately about PMS...about a couple of people...telling others...what they should be doing....or not doing...and the Mods are aware of that....

If anyone is getting harrassed by PMS...please let us know, and we will confidentially do our best to intervene...

Other then that.....You are loved....:) and never alone...

And we are all in the same boat...

Keep rowing..:)

Danielle,
For me personally alot of your posts (that come from Hazeldon) are profound......
meaning they tend to hit the heart......and I do mean HEART......of the matter. I read and
reread alot of the posts that come from the Big Book, Daily OM, and Hazeldon. They are
spiritual in nature. For me alot of them go back to the basics of my religious upbringing.
Usually no I do not reply because I'm considering the words very carefully. Meditating upon
the message they are giving/speaking to my heart. In other words, I'm taking that little
"inventory" of self. You, Phil, Wren, Carol and Doll, among many have inspired.
I read for a very long time. I felt as some say like the proverbially "lost soul". AH
was in an affair, drinking, my marriage was falling apart.........and I was a MESS. Overtime
however, I learned to cope, learned what I could control and what I couldn't. Alot of that
was due to the fact I read and reread and read some more the posts on this board.
You are an intrical part of that which has helped. And what you post DOES MATTER
though it may be unacknowledge by replies. I say thank you!!!! I hope you will keep
posting. Wanda