Well, I stood up in a Mens group (60+ guys) on Friday the 11th of May and revealed that while I had not had a drink in over 7 months.....I never stopped smoking pot.
It was time to be true to myself, so I handed my chip to my sponsor, and revealed my new sobriety date of May 8, 2007.
I'm just about 30 days now without THC, and I feel great. I've smoked pot since I was 18...I'm now 36. 1/2 my life. Quitting was not hard at all, the shame was especially having to rehash my story to all the different groups I go to....but.....It's VERY liberating, and there are a lot of people out there like me, who chose not to reveal they still smoke or take pills, etc since the big book does not say anything other than the alcohol, or they felt that the pot was not the real problem.
For the first time in my life I'm going to really realize exactly WHO I am....now nicotine and caffine comes next!!
Wow Jarrod, kudos. That took alot of heart. All about that rigorous honesty, eh? And it sounds like you're moving right along with it all. How is everything else going? Havent heard from you since the steroid thread (which I saved for my son, by the way). Need to hear from you more! (with all that spare time we all have, right? lol) a hug, Chris
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"Never argue with an idiot... They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience..."
Jarrod, It takes A LOT of courage to be honest like you were and then to return the chip. Someone is surely smiling down upon you! Yes, unloading lifts those heavy burdens. Keep going down this path and in no time that chip will be in your possession once again. May this be inspiration to others. Keep us posted on progress. Wanda
My marriage is still on the rocks, but I'm a better person now, and hopefully that will work out. Counseling is going well. My wife won't say she loves me, and she says shes having trouble dropping her coping mechanisms since my two sobriety dates. (She currently still uses daily). She has not gone to Alanon and feels she does not need to.....yet her coping needs to change as all of a sudden I'm not the same person. The tables have turned, now I'm the one watching and caring for the kids (most of the time...she's still a good Mom.) cleaning, cooking and dependable. I was not any of that before.
Now, she's the one who does very little and will not recognize my changes verbally to me, yet she will to the therapist. My in laws however have noticed the big changes and tell me so. They are surprised at how now the children trust and come to me for almost all their needs now, and that makes them feel good. They and my parents know I'm on the right track.
My parents have blamed my addictions on the way my wife has treated me....and I told them they are wrong. They don't want to believe I'm and addict/alcoholic..."AlchoStoner". My parents best freinds were Eddie Moneys drug dealer.....I was raised around drugs and knew what they wet a VERY early age. They still use today. Dad used pot daily and coke on occassion, Mom Alcohol and pills. They have yet to look at their part in all this, so my step 9 in a fine line.
My parnets moved away from the Bay Area after an event that involved me (was locked out of the house for hours while mom was partying at her friends) after school when I was 11. They ran away from the problem and moved us to the woods....but never dealt with the addictions. They believe that we are our own salvation and I was raised that way too.
Well...more than you expected...but there it is.
Therapist wants me to go there, Sponsor says no......quandry..
Wow, that must have taken a lot of courage. Well done on your honesty. I truly admire that. Keep going one day at a time and you'll soon have your chip back. Please let us know how things go for you, won't you?
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
That's inspirational! Sometimes a fresh start on honest terms gives us a great boost for forward motion again in the right direction. Well done for your courage & good luck with your early days. I hope you enjoy each day as it comes & get your chip back in time & with your self~respect intact :) Here's to your success, Danielle x
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
Jarrod, good for you. What a feeling of freedom and courage you must have.
************** "since the big book does not say anything other than the alcohol" ************** The Big Book says we cannot use alcohol in any form. I think some folks alcohol comes not just liquid form. Ive been clean of dope for some time as well. It's true sobriety, since almost all of us were dual addicted one way or another. High five brother. (no pun intended... LOL)
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My warranty on tomorrow has run out. My guarantee on the past is void. Nothing is going my way... and I like it like that.
It's been 30 days....Most THC should be out of my system now. I remember a lot more and think a lot clearer. I know I've done the right thing. This morning my wife told me she loves me for the first time in months! Keep on keeping on, and don;t lose sight of happiness inside yourself!
Jarrod, good for you. What a feeling of freedom and courage you must have.
************** "since the big book does not say anything other than the alcohol" ************** The Big Book says we cannot use alcohol in any form. I think some folks alcohol comes not just liquid form. Ive been clean of dope for some time as well. It's true sobriety, since almost all of us were dual addicted one way or another. High five brother. (no pun intended... LOL)
LOL.....Notice my avatar.....I'll be changing it soon to reflect my current state.
