As we walk through life, there are many things and people we may lose, or lose out on, if we are unwilling to commit. We need to make a commitment for relationships to grow beyond the dating stage, to have the home or apartment we want, the job we want, or the car we desire.
We must commit, on deep levels, to careers, to goals, to family, friends, and recovery. Trying something will not enable us to succeed. Committing ourselves will.
Yet, we need never commit before we are ready.
Sometimes, our fear of commitment is telling us something. We may not want to commit to a particular relationship, purchase, or career. Other times, it is a matter of our fears working their way out. Wait, then. Wait until the issue becomes clear.
Trust yourself. Ask your Higher Power to remove your fear of commitment. Ask God to remove your blocks to commitment. Ask God for guidance.
Ask yourself if you are willing to lose what you will not commit too. Then listen, quietly. And wait until a decision seems consistently right and comfortable.
We need to be able to commit, but we need never commit until we are ready. Trust that you will commit when you want to.
God, guide me in making my commitments. Give me the courage to make those that are right for me, the wisdom to not commit to that which does not feel right, and the patience to wait until I know.
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Boy this 1 really hit the nail on the head for me.
Last october my husband and I bought a house in nevada. 3 days ago, he told me that he had never wanted to move out here from california. That he hates this house, his job, the meetings, that he feels trapped and on and on and on. He said that he just "took a chance". He wants to do some very much needed repairs, rent it out, and go back home.
I was able to listen to him without becoming defensive or emotionaly entangled, thank god. I too preferred our home in ca. I will do whatever is in our best intrest.
I accept where we are. Yet I ask myself, is acceptance all I want from here? I accepted being incarcerated too while in my disease. I loved our former residence. I felt spiritual power there. Here in the desert, only the mustangs seem spiritual to me.
We have not gotten along as we once did since we moved out here. Sure we used to have our squables, but nothing like this. Our life together is is being destroyed. He feels trapped by our circumstances, I feel trapped in our destructive relationship. Its hard to explain.
When we bought this dump, we did so with the understanding that his dad, who lives here, would help us to renovate it. His dad adamantly insisted that he had the tools, knowledge, willingness, and time to help us. All we had to provide was labor and materials. His dad has helped with some MINOR repairs and it always comes with resentment, unstated expectations on his part, and he later throws it into my husbands face. What a mess. Neither of us have the ability to do the work needed. We don't know what to do. My husband is not into construction, neither am I. So we're screwed. To hire contractors is beyond our means finacially.
My husband is impulsing on this discussion of renting out this place and moving home. He does not seem to be capable of seeing the big picture right now. I get the impression that he thinks this will happen soon. It could if we were making buccu bucks, we are not. I'm just letting him process at his own speed. Thats all I can do...
I know this has been a long rambling reply, but it has helped me to share.
