I have learned that selfishness and self centeredness is the root of my problems. That fear is an evil and corroding thread. What Im about to type is something that happened today that made me think. But Im OK with it...
My daughter and son in law live across town with my wife. (They just had the new baby boy). When I came home this evening my wife had called and left a message on my machine. "you need to come to the hospital. "Z" (son in law) has been in a very bad accident. You need to come here quick".
The things that go through your head.... I begin the drive and I start to pray. "God, please let it be OK" I think... no thats not right. "God please let "Z" be OK". I still dont like the sound of it. I realize Im full of fear, and my asking for "Z" to be OK might be just a tad because "I" want him unharmed... and "I" cant stand to see my daughter cry... So I try again "God, I understand this is your will. Please protect "Z". uhu... still not right... (now of course I know this seems silly... that my HP is right there all the time, knowing exactly what I meen to say).. but Im trying for total unselfishness here and trying to get it right. Its important I practice it. Finnaly a last ditch effort as I pull into the hospital parking lot. "God, just be here with us... wrap your loving arms arond my whole family."
I think Ive got it. Sounds good ...
Ariving I find that "Z" has totaled the truck and has only minor injuries. "shew" ! Then they explain... the woman in the OTHER car is very hurt. she was life flighted out, and she may not survive. The OTHER car? The other driver.... wha.. As hard as I tried to be unselfish in my wishes... I never thought past my own family. As I say... Im OK with this... I realize Im not perfect. This is just food for thought here. "total" unselfishness is very hard to achieve. For anyone.. and we shouldnt beat ourselves up over it... but we should live daily "practicing" it. Striving for spiritual "improvement" but not expecting "perfection". And BTW, after practicing "100% honesty" for a few months.. I find that that, also can be a difficult thing to achieve. Any way... thanks for listning to me ramble.
* quick edit here... The daughter and baby were not in the car. they are all fine. "Z" is home, but sore. I continue to pray for the other driver.
-- Edited by miller2 at 23:51, 2007-05-07
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My warranty on tomorrow has run out. My guarantee on the past is void. Nothing is going my way... and I like it like that.
Wow... I am glad that your family is ok. That is a very tough situation to be in.. I could not imagine. I hope everything will be ok with the other person that was involved in the accident... keep your head up!
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"Advice is what you ask for when you already know the answer but wish you didn't"
All we can do is strive, Miller. I guess it's how we walk our journey, more than the actual arrival. Of course, your first thought would be about a loved one. Our brains can only hold so much information during a time of intense stress. That's what that adrenalin does. In the meantime, I'll hold the other accident victim in prayer, as well as you all. I'm so glad everyone's okay. big hug, Chris
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"Never argue with an idiot... They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience..."
Miller, You, your family, and the other driver on in my prayers. I found your post very interesting and thought provoking (in a good way); I was definitely tearing up over your scare. Thank you for taking the time out during such an emotional day to share this news, but also what you discovered. Laura
I'm so glad that your family are OK. I can't begin to imagine what you went through as you drove to the hospital. I'll keep you all and the other accident victim in my prayers.
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Thanks for sharing that with us Miller. Our self~centredness seems to be crucial in all the trouble we can have dealing with life. I'm truly grateful for your post & the process you showed to us in how to attempt a correction in our thinking. HP is capable of many things & I don't think it has a direct effect of controlling what happens in a fateful way. More like it's there to help us deal with situations in the most selfless & loving way possible. This is what we aspire to & you're right, it is progress not perfection. It's not a 'cruel God' that 'makes' these things happen. Things occur & can be quite by chance of course, it's how we respond to things & conduct our behaviour so that we try to improve things or not make things worse. Thanks for your share. It's provided a lot of food for thought & I hope things work out for all those involved no matter who they are & if not they're able to bear & work through the pain of any outcome. It's this sort of creativity that my namesake alludes to. Best wishes for you, those you love & your sobriety, Danielle x
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
Happy that your son-in-law is okay. Yes, it is hard to pray for others who have hurt us/our loved ones/friends in any manner. Yet just doing so we enlist our HP/God to take over whatever the situation be. And it has yet to fail.....later on we realize He did what was in our/their best interest. Prayers not only for you and your family, but for the other driver, Wanda
