Fear is at the core of codependency. It can motivate us to control situations or neglect ourselves.
Many of us have been afraid for so long that we don't label our feelings fear. We're used to feeling upset and anxious. It feels normal.
Peace and serenity may be uncomfortable.
At one time, fear may have been appropriate and useful. We may have relied on fear to protect ourselves, much the way soldiers in a war rely on fear to help them survive. But now, in recovery, we're living life differently.
It's time to thank our old fears for helping us survive, then wave good-bye to them. Welcome peace, trust, acceptance, and safety. We don't need that much fear anymore. We can listen to our healthy fears, and let go of the rest.
We can create a feeling of safety for ourselves, now. We are safe, now. We've made a commitment to take care of ourselves. We can trust and love ourselves.
God, help me let go of my need to be afraid. Replace it with a need to be at peace. Help me listen to my healthy fears and relinquish the rest.
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
I'm in a new romantic relationship (with a guy who has 14 years sobriety and actively goes to meetings, we met in the program) and I'm finding that when there is something I'm afraid of that if I just talk to him about it, tell him I'm experiencing fear, what I'm fearful of, and how it's making me WANT to react, that it has a powerful healing effect and I don't feel the fear anymore. In fact, a lot of the time, talking about it exposes exactly how ridiculous some of my fears actually are! That approach has been really good so far, it really DOES replace the fear with serenity and peace.
It's hard to just say "ok i'm letting go of this fear now" without talking to someone about it. Sharing it with the person who it's about takes it's power away, because I can't hide behind it anymore, because he knows better
