When I was new to AA, I was convinced that I was powerless over alcohol and that my life, because of my drinking, was unmanageable. As I began to do what I was told to do, I discovered that I didn't have to drink anymore. I reasoned that now that I didn't have to drink, I could, through hard work and the use of my talents, recapture everything that I had missed. I proceeded to do this. Over a period of years, this philosophy eventually led me to a point where I nearly lost everything that I had sought, and I was again faced with the issue of the unmanageability of my life. Everything I tried failed. I was constantly beset with the fear that I would soon be homeless, and I once again, though not drinking had become rudderless. I made a decision to get back into the program of alcoholics anonymous. I started going to on line meetings, I volunteered to work with my central office answereing the phone for the AA hot line, I met a wonderful man who I started studying the steps with. I started going back to face to face meetings and I joined a new group.
In studying the BB, I was led to this paragraph, "When we saw others solve their problems by a simple reliance upon the Spirit of the Universe, we had to stop doubting the power of God. Our ideas did not work. But the God idea did.
In working under my own ideas, I had blocked God from my life. Now, I pray"Lord, I offer myself to you to build with me and to do with me as you will, relieve me of the Bondage to self, so that I can do your will.Take away my difficulties(like doubting your power and not believeing that you care about me and my life)so that victory over them will bear witness to those that I would help(everybody that I can)of your power, your love, and your way of life. May I do your will always.
Through these awfully painful experiences I have gained a new perspective on Step Three. My understanding has broadened and I know what my obstacles have been to turning it over.
I pray that my experiences will save some of you the awful pain that I have had to live through.
Thank you Eddie, that was beautifully put. Knowing that we are never alone in our struggles and surrendering to a will and purpose beyond our own, continuing to reach out---again, great post and thank you. Wren
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"Never argue with an idiot... They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience..."
