Well, I know this's prolly gonna' be fleeting and I'll prolly feel like shit again tomorrow night but I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts. I also made the decision that I'm going to try the sample of antidepressants (a months worth) that my doctor reccomended. This has to be the biggest step towards hypocracey I've made in a long time since I've always believed that if you're pissed off or sad there's probably a good reason you're having those feelings and those feelings are the only thing that's gonna' trigger the actions to make 'em better...
Well, though I'm usually pretty concious of my own thoughts/feelings and what-not I really don't know how I feel about this. Either way, I guess I'm gonna' give it a shot...
Either way I'll prolly poke my head back in here tomorrow when I feel like crap again - I'm gonna' be going to my first meeting hopefully granted I can get to sleep on-time and I can find my way there (I'm aweful with directions)...
I am glad to hear that you are having a good spell - enjoy it! I also hope that you do manage to find your way to a meeting (or a few), sense of direction being what it is. I live in a town with a lot of different meetings, and tried several before I found those that were a good fit for me. I still check out new groups from time to time, even now.
Keep us informed of how you progress - in the antidepressant area, as well. Your thoughts on depression might apply, in cases of normal depression brought on by circumstance. However, there is pathological depression which is not situational, but due to a measurable and correctable chemical imbalance, which does warrant treatment. If not for such treatment of depression run amok, I would be minus certain family members by now. ONly you and your doctors will be able to sort that one out. I very sincerely wish you well!
I notice the negative thinking there. Do you? and the biggest factor in depression is actually negative thinking. YOu can't fully enjoy the moment if you are projecting that you are going to feel like crap the next moment. I know how that is though,,, been there and done that . It is called 'living in the wreckage of the future' when we project terrible things in our future and then we prepare for those imagined terrible things,, and in our fear and defensive actions,, we proceed to wreck our future.
It is true that there are a few kinds of depression, and more causes for them. Withdrawals involve disrupting the precarious balance that might have been achieved when the body compensated for the alcohol, and so the anti-depressants are a temporary thing, till you get over the hump. When the month is over,, then you can re-evaluate.
Are you planning on going to a meeting yet?
love in recovery,
amanda
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
Good luck for your meet, Pooks. They say not to judge A.A. on your first one & go to a few. My first meet was a bit intense. There were only 7/8 of us & I went out of curiosity, quietly assured on the inside that I wouldn't need meets as 'I was capabable of doing it on my own'. Funny thing was after having already been sober for 2months before I went in on the Monday I took a drink on the Friday so go figure! That's when I started to get suspicious & think 'Hey, there must be more to this alcoholism thing than I first thought??!' Anyway, it took awhile for me to start to identify with other alcoholics as 'I was different' but it eventually started to filter through & melt my pride & arrogance (which I hadn't realised I had ;) It's great when you finally realise you're not alone & now I'm so greatful to have friends who are sober (or struggling) too because I couldn't survive in the drinking world without them. A rare breed but hopefully growing as people share & learn the message. A sober life's a great life. Good luck with your journey, Pooks. Wishing you lots of fun in your discoveries.. Danielle :)
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
