The other times I've tried AA I did exactly what is suggested, I went to lots of meetings, I talked to lots of people, I got a sponsor, etc...I even joined a men's group meeting with about 10 other guys with some serious long term sobriety. I did this all within a few weeks and everything was going fine and then all of a sudden I just got weirded out and cut all ties with it. I felt like I didn't want this to be my life, I didn't want to be like these guys, I didn't want to live as an alcoholic or have to go to meetings and listen to old ex-drunks, etc.
Looking back I think that I was maybe a little overzealous and tried to do too much too fast. I'm a very sociable guy but I'm also very private when it comes to my personal time and space and I dont like a lot of unsolicited attention from "new friends"...frankly I dont want any new friends, I just want to go to my meetings, think my way through things and move forward at my own pace.
Anyone else ever feel this way? Anyone else ever get freaked out when it all starts to feel too real?
Whats your choices Keep doing what your doing or change
F uck E verything A nd R un
or
F ace E verything A nd R ecover
However i totally identify with the feelings you describe, i felt the very same way but these people were sober and i couldn't do that and had come to a point in my life that this was my last chance and i knew only too well where the path i was on led so here i am.
Yes, there have been times in AA when I have been freaked out. But, the reality is that my alcoholism freaked me out even worse.
You said that you liked to be in control. So do I. But, I have accepted that I'm not in control of my drinking. So, the best solution for me, and for my loved ones, is to go to AA.
Try to remember that we are choosing not to drink. Today I have that choice. When I was drinking I had no choices about anything.
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
C'mon man, now you're just messing up my therapy!!! LOL!
Hee Hee, Way i see it if you put all our good emotions into one pot and all our negative emotions in another boiled them all up and then simmered them for a while you would have love in one pot and fear in the other.
I just dont like being forced into anything...I like to be in control
I was afraid of EVERYTHING. I was afraid to keep drinking, I was afraid to stop!
Woo hoo! Who doesn't like to be in control.....only thing I CAN control is ME, my ACTIONS and my re-ACTIONS! Other than that, nadda!
There are definately meetings that freak me out. The one's where I identify with someone's share or I have a moment that seals the fact that booze was just a symptom of my illness.......the good news, once I face it, I am relieved.
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
There seem to be a couple of aspects to this: 1. preferring to be in denial - "I'm not like them. I don't have that problem. I don't really want or need this. I'm getting out of here." 2. even when I finally did admit that I really had the problem,, then,,, it was 'I don't want to make this my whole life. I'm just going to go for a year, and then I'll be cured. I don't want to just hang around with alkies 24/7 , especially recovering ones!" Then I got over that.
I can relate to not being so involved in some aspects of AA. I am basically there for the program, and go to meetings and work the Steps. I'm not so much into the clubs, dances and other things. And that is okay,, those things are optional. They say, 'take what you need and leave the rest'.
love in recovery,
amanda
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
Go to that meeting !
Keep doing what your doing or change
