Hey y'all... just checkin in... I'm doing good... 3 days sober... getting to meetings, got a sponsor, doing my first step...
It's funny, my roommate and I went to our Thursday night meeting last night, and when I shared I said something about how I'd been on a dry drunk... and after the meeting, my roommate brought that up, and said he hadn't realized that, but that looking at it he can see that now... he said his dry drunks are totally different... but... that that's obviously what has been going on.
He said it sounds bad, but I'm a lot calmer, more relaxed, since I drank Monday night... and he wasn't saying it like I need to drink to calm down or something, but I have been feeling better, the only thing I can say about that is maybe that's what it took to get me to start doing what I need to be doing. Once I realized I'd been on a dry drunk, and realized the way I've been acting and the things that led up to drinking on Monday... I dunno, I feel a bit better about things, and am working hard to not be the way that I have been lately.
I was in a lot of pain today, my back again... it's been worse yesterday and today and I'm not sure why. I had told my roommate I wanted to get to a meeting tonight, and then when it was close to time to go, I was hurting so bad... I told him I didn't want to go. But we went anyway, and I'm glad we did. It was a good meeting, one neither of us had been to before. I was hurting so bad during it I actually had a hard time paying attention... but caught bits and pieces... but it made me feel better to go, even though I'm hurting, to know that I can handle the pain if I have to. I don't want to fall back into not going to meetings just because I'm in pain, I can't let myself do that again.
My roommate has an appt with a pain specialist on the 11th, and he's taking me with him. It's our friend's dr, she just had back surgery, and he agreed to see my roommate although he's not taking new patients. They think if I go with my roommate, he'll look at my back too... I hope so anyway. It's really weird... like, usually it hurts right in the middle in my spine, but my roommate was rubbing my back today and it hurt, sharp pain, when he pushed on a spot just off to the left side of my spine and he looked at it and it was a bit swollen. Then on the way to the meeting I was getting the pain in the same general spot, but on the right side. Then during the meeting it was more in the middle, like it usually is. I don't know. I have no idea what it could be. The pain seems to change up sometimes, where it hurts or how it hurts... it just doesn't make any sense. Hopefully our friend's dr can figure it out...
Anyway, here I am rambling as usual... gonna put some ice on my back and see if I can talk my roommate into giving me another back rub... and hopefully get some sleep...
hmm,, I wonder. I have bad back pain too. and I was also at a gathering last night where my back hurt so bad. It hurts sitting down so I hve to stand up against a wall with my fist at the spot where it hurts. I'm not sure wht you mean by 'middle' of you back. Do you mean waistline? I have a problem with my sacroiliac joint,, which is where the curved part we call the tail bone meets the part that is on the pelvic bones. My physical therapist did a 'corrction' last week and this week htat have really helped! just when I was thinkin it was hopeless. It has been really hard for me to stay in too,,, get out of touch with things and in my own head too much.
I'm glad that you are balancing better, and working the program more seriously , and that people are noticing the results of that.
love in recovery,
amanda
__________________
do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
Thanks for keeping us posted on how things are going for you. It's good to see you back posting.
I do hope that your back pain will be sorted out for you as I know that it has to be making life difficult for you right now. Just hang in there, Lisa.
Take care,
Carol
__________________
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Doll, I've gone to 2 doctors, and a physical therapist, and all of them say different things, and more or less don't know what it is. They haven't run the tests they should, from what I've read up on it, they haven't even checked my blood count to make sure I don't have some sort of infection causing it. They did xrays, that came back fine. Haven't done an MRI though. I'm going with my roommate to this other doctor, he will probably look at me too and figure out what's wrong. It's not too far off until we go in to see him.
amanda, I was saying middle meaning in my spine, it's in my lower back, cramping in my spine from kinda high in my lower back, all the way down near my tail bone. the sharp pains are in the upper part of what would still be considered lower back. And these sharp pains I get, they're all in the same general area, mostly in my spine, but sometimes off to the sides just a bit. From what I was reading, there was something on webmd about bone infections and that they hurt more at night and when sitting or standing for long periods, which is what's going on with me, and what I've told the doctors, and they haven't even run tests for infections.
Anyway... besides the pain... things are going good. My roommate and I are getting along much better, sorting out our problems... I am going to listen to the 1 year suggestion on relationships this time around... I didn't drink *because* of what went on with my roommate and me, but I suppose that may have contributed... but I realized it's not fair to me or him to get back in a relationship before I get my year or at least have worked all the steps... it took my focus off of my recovery and sobriety... and when I went on that dry drunk, I hurt him in a lot of ways too, it wasn't fair to him either. He's told me that maybe things would work with us later on down the road... but... I'm putting that 1 year rule in place this time... and if there's something between us... it will still be there a year from now...
Doll, I've gone to 2 doctors, and a physical therapist, and all of them say different things, and more or less don't know what it is. They haven't run the tests they should, from what I've read up on it, they haven't even checked my blood count to make sure I don't have some sort of infection causing it. They did xrays, that came back fine. Haven't done an MRI though. .
I am going to listen to the 1 year suggestion on relationships this time around...
See a neurosurgeon, get an MRI. No one can tell you anything without seeing the whole picture....
1 year is just a time line......doesn't mean all will be well and then you can start a relationship & it will be grand....
Common sense, gal. Common sense.
__________________
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
