I have recently relapsed, about 3 months ago and when this happens, my 2 adult children, do not call, do not e-mail and I am not allowed to go to their homes or see my grandchildren. I had been sober for almost 4 years and I decided to pick up one evening after work. I drink at home, but that evening my son and family decided to come over to take showers, since their power was out. I stupidly lied to him and told him the bottle he found in the waste basket wasn't mine(I am such a good lier, it just comes out) and he said, Mom I'm tired of the lies. The last time I relapsed, they didn't come around for almost 2 years. I am in pain, but going to meetings and trying to do the next right thing. Anybody with anything, I would appreciate it
My boyfriend and I separated because of my alcoholism but we still see each other and are working on getting back together. I know that it will take time for him to fully trust me after all of the years of lying and cheating so that I could carry on drinking.
Now, on a daily basis I am continuing to prove to him that I'm not drinking and have no desire to drink. But, it's going to take time. There's no substitute for that.
With the help of meetings, our program of recovery and all of the wonderful friends that I have made in AA, life is slowly getting better and he is trusting me more and more. It'll happen with you, too. Just keep going to meetings and taking it one day at a time.
Please keep posting and letting is know how things are going for you, won't you?
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Hi Debbie, thanks for joining us x I'm sure it may take a while to earn certain trusts back but if you go to meetings & keep on with doing the right things I'm sure you'll learn to accept these terms & their changes. That's the beauty of recovery. It teaches us that no matter how things are we don't have to take a drink on it & that sometimes simply staying sober can be an amend no matter how long it takes. I hope you don't have to be without your family for such an amount of time again but, with the friends you make in A.A. to help you, you'll gain back your self~respect & esteem even if others can't feel that way right now, Good Luck, Debbie x Let us know how you're going Dxx
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
Hi Debbie. Glad your here. I just got off the phone with my wife. She lives a few towns over with my children and a grand child. We've been seperated two years, and just tonight, she mentioned I was welcome to visit. So understand, your not alone. We've all let loved ones down at one time or another, and eventually, we see some kind of consequenses. The important thing is that you didnt go off the deep end and go on another binge afterwards. You went to a meeting. You did what was right. Give it a little time, and then do what the program teaches. When we are wrong we promptly admit it. So write them or give them a call just to let them know that you made a mistake, without expecting any thing in return. They may not be ready to forgive just yet. Lord knows, after the twenty years I put my family through, I cant expect them to believe Im better after just a year or two. Glad you came here, just work your program and keep doing the next right thing. Prayer seems to work pretty good for me too most the time.
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My warranty on tomorrow has run out. My guarantee on the past is void. Nothing is going my way... and I like it like that.
HI, Sure wish I had some great words of wisdom for you. Continue going to meetings, and take it 'one day at a time'. It especially hurts when your own children are upset with you. You had a relapse..but you also have a disease. Take Care Nancy Jo
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Life is full of ups and downs
But the faces of love will
ease the pain and suffering
from:My Mother
Thanks to everyone who replied. I know I have always been taught that anyone in AA that reaches out, the hand of AA is always there, and this has shown me that AA is the easier softer way! I am continuing going to meetings and putting one foot in front of the other.
I really like this site. I will continue to use it. Believe me, I need all the help I can get and can offer.
First of all I would like to wish you all the best with your recovery...
A am an Al-anoner....I grew up in that atmosphere........
One thing I always wanted to do was "STOP" the alcoholic from drinking....As a child I was powerless, and now I know from joining al-anon we are all powerless...
Chiildren see their parents...And in Alcohol they see a different person....Trust, is a big thing....
I would imagine you kids love you very much, and they want to trust and believe in you.....And maybe they thought they had their mom back for good.....So you can imagine they are hurting so much......
Some people go on about Alcoholics and OMG how they hurt, suffer, have an illness and are very sick....And I am NOT being disrespectful of all Alcoholics or recovering...
From my experience, the families of an Alcoholic are sick if not sicker than the drinker...
Just give it time...Right now you NEED to put your recovery first, with the people who can help you....And let everything else fall into place...
And just to prove it. After 36 years I now have NO resentments, No anger, No hate against my dad..I love him and today I have forgiven him for all the hurt he has caused in my life..
