If it were my dad I'd spend as much time as I could with him and try to make him eat. I'd get him on his feet and out of the house early and keep him busy. When I had him relatively sober (if that's an option?) I'd make offhand suggestions a bit and see if he eventually came around and decided he needed help before I really pushed on him or made any ultimatums.

Shoot- that totally sucks for you. I feel for you- I truly do. That would be hard.

And yeah- Alanon- no doubt whatsoever.

My heart goes out to you.
I agree with Doll, there isnt much you can do..You could go to an Alanon meeting where you will find someone in your situation.
My 2 sons had no control over my drinking, because most of the time they didnt even know...I isolated my self from them...and wasted many years of being there for them ( alchol was more important).
Just try taking care of YOU.
Good Luck
Nancy Jo

My heart goes out to you. I know my family had to watch much the same thing with my drinking, and there wasn't anything they could do but stand back and wait for the phone call. So many hospital visits...

I would, personally, make contact with my area's social services and arrange for an intervention. Suggest a rehab. If it were my Father that is what I would do. Twenty years ago, atleast in my town, that wasn't an option. I've no idea if it would have made any difference to me? But perhaps if I'd looked at how I was tearing my loved ones apart, rather than what I thought my needs were, it may have made a difference. I will certainly pray for you, and hope you come back and let us know. I hope you will also get any other family members available to help support you during this. Blessings to you for caring so much, Chris

You really got to my heart. I did everything humanly possible to stop my husband from drinking. I could clearly see the physical changes in his body. Then he left. I know
where he is and he is still drinking.
It still at times hurts very much. Yet I had to let go and allow him to make these decisions for himself. He has had numerous health problems and with each my heart sinks.
You might try first to tell him how much you love him and let him know you are deeply
concerned about his consumption. If his response is agitation or refusal to help......
it is out of your control. You must take care of yourself and not allow his behavior to
effect you. IT IS HARD to do. As Phil said when it is someone we love or are close to
allowing them the consequences of their actions is difficult.
Prayers go up for you.

Phil wrote:

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Just wanted to add...that its difficult watching those close to us...go right down the tube..

I deliver booze as part of a business...and the hardest part is the saying.."If they wanna drink? Its their business. If they wanna stop? Its our business.

Had a gal come on this board...3 or 4 years ago..hubby had spent 18 days, locked in bedroom...and went to the booze store..when his wife went to work..

After 22 days ..it was suggested very strongly...that she call an ambulance and get him the hell outa there...

One evening at 11pm..she did just that...and he passed away at 3am...

An episode...that still haunts me today...

A good buddy in the same small town as myself...picked up a drink a few years ago...after 5 years sober..

Alone in his own house...he continued to drink beer for 3 weeks steady...

Then he changed to White Rum...

We found him in his bed a couple days later

I guess...all Im saying is...

There comes a point when its time to take action...and intervention...is the only way...

Its either that....or death...

My 2 cents....have a good day...

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He doesn't want me 2 call ambulance...



-- Edited by oOOoOoOoOOo at 04:13, 2007-04-17

Phil wrote:

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As an AA member...I cant tell you or suggest what you do...re the AA board..

As an Addiction Councellor....away from this board...I CAN offer some suggestions...that might help...

philipld@sympatico.ca

Have the best day that you can eh...

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Hello Phil,
Can u suggest something here?