One of the prohibitions many of us learned in childhood is the unspoken rule; don't have fun and enjoy life. This rule creates martyrs - people who will not let themselves embrace the pleasures of day-to-day living.
Many of us associated suffering with some sort of sainthood. . Now, we associate it with codependency. We can go through the day making ourselves feel anxious, guilty, miserable, and deprived. Or we can allow ourselves to go through that same day feeling good. In recovery, we eventually learn the choice is ours.
There is much to be enjoyed each day, and it is okay to feel good. We can let ourselves enjoy our tasks. We can learn to relax without guilt. We can even learn to have fun.
Work at learning to have fun. Apply yourself with dedication to learning enjoyment. Work as hard at learning to have fun as you did at feeling miserable.
Our work will pay off. Fun will become fun. Life will become worth living. And each day, well find many pleasures to be enjoyed.
Today, I will let myself enjoy life as I go through my day.
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Thanks for that post, Q. It's helped me find a way in with what's troubling me at the moment. Namely my work. I'm currently employed at a Women's Refuge. My very own job I got in sobriety & I'm chuffed to have it. I know I'll find the strength to enjoy & improve as I live One Day at a Time with God on side. My problem is that I'm finding the authority side of it difficult. The constant carrying out of policies & procedures, basically enforcing the rules. The women & their families can be quite unruly & I'm finding that I'm having to continually nudge them into doing as they need to i.e. Keep the refuge tidy, be in at the agreed times & adhere to the rules in general as they arise. Honestly, I really hate this part of the job. I'm not comfortable 'trying' to tell them what to do. I feel like I want to make their life easier & I feel they've had a hard enough time as it is. Ironically, my Mum took this view when we left my alcoholic father when I was 5. My Mum let us run riot & it caused lots of trouble for us as children. It made us unmanageable & so there would be conflict with adults all the time. I think I've just answered my own question! lol I was wondering how I could be confident in doing this side of the job without seeming overbearing or rude. I need to carry out the discipline this job requires for the greater good. There's nothing to be gained by allowing people to lose their standards or not gain new ones. I just needed to find my own medium of why I was doing this. I hope this gives me the confidence I need in order to carry out this side of the job & actually enjoy myself & those around me. I want to carry a message of good standards whilst creating a positive atmosphere too. I hope posting this will help me to strike that balance & be more effective in my work.
Thanks for listening, MIP, good to share the road with you, Danielle xxx
-- Edited by Sobrietyspell at 08:33, 2007-04-13
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
Wow Carol! The last relationship I was involved in was with a woman from that kind of family. I spent most of my time trying to play God and help her see the joy in life all around us, in everything...I wasn't God. Couldn't erase 40 years of negative training in her. I still feel sorry for her in a way that she will seldom get to see the beauty in this world and its inhabitants. And I do believe it was co-dependent to an extent as I would start drinking sometimes, maybe out of frustration or lack of someone to share beautiful thoughts with on a regular basis, or just escaping my situation (any excuse will do), and she would tolerate it knowing that I would come to sobriety again soon enough. Oh well...Things have changed and all for the better for me and the partner I'm with now. It truly is a wonderful life. Thank you for a good reminder of where I once was my friend...Tim
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"We posess the eyes through which the universe gazes with wonder upon its own majesty."
