I have only 3 months sobriety under my belt and I feel great. That being said, I am having difficulty reaching out when the alcoholic in me resurfaces. I am by nature a very shy and introverted person; I can't get up the nerve to verbally communicate the issues I am having in my new found sobriety. I am in a co-dependent relationship with an alcholic who doesn't wish to change. On the 1st of May I will take possession of my new apartment, away from my partner, on my own, for the first time in my adult life. I am petrified.
I am reaching out in this forum for advice to ease the panic bubbling within. Are there any words of wisdom someone can offer me?
i hope you are going to meetings and it is recommended to make one of them your "home group" that would be the one to share your stuff at. if not during the meeting then maybe before or after. its not easy to get started..i dont think anyone of us breezed through the initial first getting to know and share stuff about our life..the rewards are worth it and it is a WE program. dont try to do it alone we ARE here to help Welcome to recovery! love and best wishes...cindy
I would say you are heading in the right direction. Co-dependence........I did that. More or less, AH played "head games" and had me believing I was worthless. I, too, was petrified.......at first......had all those thoughts of "how will I ever do it on my own." Though I am a verbal person, in that I tend to share what is inside me easily, I found myself speechless when AH walked out and blamed me for every little thing that went wrong in his life. It was the best thing that could have happened. It put things in a light like never before though the light came gradually. It was/has been an on going process. I AM DOING IT. It took a day at a time. Probably the most important thing I faced was about a year after AH walked out, I learned I had breast cancer. As the drip was started to "knock my lights out", I simply looked up to "the heavens" and said, "Okay, God. It's You and me now. Whatever happens (if it had spread beyond the breast) I can face with your help." 2 hrs later I awoke. Though the breast is gone......I am here. There was a reason, I was given more life. I quit allowing AH to have any kind of power and began to listen to my "heart". No, somedays it is hard. Everyone has them. Yet I know by turning to my HP I CAN DO IT. What has helped most.......reading the encouraging words from everyone here. And reading and reading the 12 steps over when I have those moments. I quit worrying about the future.......and take each day as it comes. Like Cindy, I hope you are attending meetings. Wishing you the best.
Welcome! And congratulations on 3 months of sobriety. It sounds like you are tapping a great deal of strength to move out on your own. I too am shy and introverted and this forum is helping me find strength . . . I was here a few weeks before I communicated out loud with people that I am an alcoholic. There is a wealth of encouragement among the members here to not only remain sober but reach out to other AA members face to face. I wish you well and hope to see you here again. -Laura
Thank you for your help. I feel stronger knowing I'm not the only shy one out there ;)
I have been attending meetings on a regular basis right from the start, but when the meeting is over I run for the door. I am becoming more and more aware of the importance of finding a home group and a sponsor - it's just hard to make that first step and to ask for help.
