First I want to wish you all a happy Easter. I have a question that I hope someone can response to. My ex-boyfriend drank and smoked pot everyday. Is he unhappy? When I read all your posts, a lot of you mention how unhappy you were. Is that true for everyone that is using? Especially when they have been using for a long time. He would tell me how his life was so great. What was that about? I believed him that he was happy, but when I read on this board it sounds like most of you weren't happy while using. I'm just trying to understand because I feel so hurt that he did not stop using so that we could be together. I want to forgive him and not have any resentments so that I can move on and start to really work on myself.
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With God all things are possible. God Bless all of you
When I drank I was relatively happy. I wasn't as happy as how I was before I drank, but I was still a pretty happy, productive person.
I drank in some part because I felt sad and hopeless about something that weighed heavily upon me, a loss that I experienced that I still feel sad about at times. I drank in large part because I stopped caring about myself and because that's the way I'm wired.
Drinking made me unhappy. Well- the first couple drinks made me great, the rest made me unhappy, the hangover felt crappy and the guilt because I knew I was an alcoholic was a drag.
Some people can drink, some people cant. Luck of the draw, I suppose. I wouldn't take it personally if I were you. It was most likely nothing to do with you and tons to do with alcoholism. my .02
I will say that no, I wasn't happy. Self-actualized people, people who are living up to or striving to live up to their potential don't need exterior stimulants to get there. I did not have all the healthy coping skills (or at least they were not strong) to deal with difficulties that came into my life, so I drank to numb the pain. While drinking, I had the illusion of happiness sometimes . . . for fleeting moments . . . and as time progressed and my addiction to alcohol increased those moments dissapeared completely.
I can't know what your ex-boyfriend felt/feels/thinks. I think it is great that you are concentrating on healing yourself. That's all you can do.
I'm sure you'll get some great responses from others here.
my vote... first ten years... happy last ten years... absolute misery I think of alcohol like a trojan horse... seems great at first, but ends up being my defeat. Is your ex happy? Only he knows. Most important question.... are you ?
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My warranty on tomorrow has run out. My guarantee on the past is void. Nothing is going my way... and I like it like that.
Hi Sharon. It's really hard to answer your question. I believe that there are darn close to as many reasons for drinking/using as there are alcoholics/addicts (They're both the same from my personal perspective. Addiction is addiction is addiction...no matter what the substance.) Some people are happy with an altered conciousness, or so they feel. In fact, I was at a point for a long time that, not only did I feel happy with a glow on, but I didn't feel like myself without one. Worse yet, the altered conciousness me was the person that most people I associated with came to know and like/love and I became somewhat uneasy thinking about NOT drinking. Perhaps this is the or part of his problem. Quitting was pretty difficult as it was such a drastic change of life pattern but I am SO glad that I have. I was the only one who could make that decision for myself and life is truly so wonderful sober. Your ex will either find the same for himself or continue his pattern for the remainder of his life. I don't mean to make you feel helpless in this situation but that's pretty much it. You can tell him how you feel about his using and let him know that you care for his well being but don't tear yourself up about his choices...take care of yourself first. I do hope this answers some of your question. Good fortune...Tim
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"We posess the eyes through which the universe gazes with wonder upon its own majesty."
I guess one would say that I was pretty much easy going and a happy drunk, and felt pretty much contented with the way things were or so I thought. But deep down I was pretty much unhappy with my life style and how things turned out. Low self esteem issues, um I lost my self respect, etc.
Today, I can honestly say that I'm working on alot of self worth issues, and found out alot of whom I am. And proud to say that I'm greatful for what the program has thought me about life and how to channal my problems without thinkin on picking up a drink.
Alot of us have insecurities that we have to work on, and one must find his or her own way of how they deal with these issues as an individual. But we take it one day at a time and at our own speed, not someone elses.
Praying for u and hope you keep coming back, it's ok to feel hurt and well sometimes things have to progress on their own terms not yours. Take it one day at a time and well go easy on yourself.
Hi Sharon. Thanks for asking the question. What a wonderful reminder that I was a MISERABLE person while drinking......I just didn't know it at the time.....I know now that I drank to try to escape my "real" life......(((hugs))))
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
Hello, I doubt if I was happy when I was drinking. I was so deluded and thought I had a handle on everything. I probably thought I was happy, but what did I know? I was a deluded alcoholic addict. Actually, there is allot of that going around. Maybe your ex is one. I hate to cast aspersions, but this is a recovery program and the topic is a question concerning a daily alcohol and drug user and his happiness. Oh......and by the way you can forgive him in your heart. You don't even have to tell him. I have been following your posts. Your Friday night spiritual meeting sounds very positive. I hope you can surround yourself with productive, positive, sober people and enjoy life to the fullest. Peace and Love, Roderick
