Detachment is a key to recovery from codependency. It strengthens our healthy relationships - the ones that we want to grow and flourish. It benefits our difficult relationships - the ones that are teaching us to cope. It helps us!
Detachment is not something we do once. It's a daily behavior in recovery. We learn it when were beginning our recovery from codependency and adult children issues. And we continue to practice it along the way as we grow and change, and as our relationships grow and change.
We learn to let go of people we love, people we like, and those we don't particularly care for. We separate ourselves, and our process, from others and their process.
We relinquish our tight hold and our need to control in our relationships. We take responsibility for ourselves; we allow others to do the same. We detach with the understanding that life is unfolding exactly as it needs to, for others and ourselves. The way life unfolds is good, even when it hurts. And ultimately, we can benefit from even the most difficult situations. We do this with the understanding that a Power greater than ourselves is in charge, and all is well.
Today, I will apply the concept of detachment, to the best of my ability, in my relationships. If I cant let go completely, I'll try to hang on loose.
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Thanks for this timely, loving & kindly post, Q. I'm learning to let go with love all of the time. It's so relevent. I'm 7wks away from breaking up with my last co-dependent relationship. We're both in recovery, he with his addictions & mine with my alcoholism. We were living long distance too so had to survive with each other living in the other's head as we were only seeing one another once a month in the last eight months. Our defects really came to the fore & neither of us could move on with the way things were. We're slowly coming to friendship & the love is still very much there but for us Recovery had to come first. We had to come first. Detaching & letting go means that we can love ourselves first. It's one of the hardest things but what gives us the most freedom when we learn to do it. He's not coming back to Liverpool for at least another 6months & we have to let go in order to survive & thrive. When we let these other things go, the weightlessness buoys us up & we're lighter in our hearts. I've learned to sit with pain & let that go too. Everything we experience teaches us & I've learned that pain really is weakness leaving the body.
Aware and alive to the little I know, as if I've arrived at another plateau. A plateau . . . familiar . . . yet, wonderfully strange where I find my milieu in the fortunes of change.
In my soul is a room with a wedding inside . . . . Alone is the groom and Truth is the bride.
Pity has gone to its place on a shelf . . . to be summoned for others but rarely for self. Touching and feeling in heart and in brain Accepting the healing of joy that's in pain . . . .
Where Alone is not gloom, nor a fearsome divide. Alone is the groom and Truth is the bride.
~ Portia Nelson
Thanks for your help & daily posts, Love in Recovery, Danielle xxxx
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
