So I met a nice woman about a week and a half ago and we talked for awhile after the meeting... she answered some questions I had and gave me her number. She mentioned that she would be a temporary sponsor for me - but that was it. I didn't respond to that comment and we just kept talking. I know that you can call a sponsor day or night... (i have never had one this is just what I hear to be true)... Last night I had the worst night with cravings - I am not really sure why since I have been doing so good and never really had those nights since the beginning withdrawal stage. I layed in my bed awake for hours making myself not get out of bed to get a drink. (whether I have it in the house or not I can always get it day or night because the restaurant I work at always has afterhours with people drinking all night!!) I was actually in tears because of how badly I wanted one. I of course did not allow myself to have one. I went through all of my friends in my head and tried to choose who I would call - not only friends but also thought of my mom and aunt. I felt badly calling anyone at 130am nevermind a woman that I had just met briefly! i turned it around and thought about if someone needed something no matter how much I knew them I would NEVER mind if they called me that late... but I still could not pick up the phone and call her. I am not a people-pleasing person that gets walked all over and i am not really scared of rejection or anything like that so I am not sure what I was scared of by calling her. I knew some of my friends would have been awake (since it was a friday night) and they are VERY supportive of me and my decision but it just wouldn't have been the same to call one of them since they have never been through this. I was also trying to think of what I would say to this woman but I had no idea.... "hi umm my name is Jamie and I met you over a week ago and I want to drink"? Maybe it sounds silly maybe not but anyway can you all give me some advice on what you did or didn't do so if it happens next time I will know what to do... also is it common for this to happen out of nowhere... honestly i was in a great mood and all of a sudden- it was as if i switched personalities haha I have gone 52 days....well since it was yesterday it was 51 days without having this kind of strong feeling come over me - obviously i get urges and can wait it out and it usually goes away but this was BAD!!! thanks for all the advice ahead of time!! - just scared next time I will just give in even though today I am happy I didn't!!!
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"Advice is what you ask for when you already know the answer but wish you didn't"
I remember early on in sobriety, I was having very strong cravings. I thought about 'phoning my sponsor and decided that she wouldn't want to hear from me on a Saturday evening. I also thought about other people that I had met in AA and decided that they would all be too busy with their lives! So, I didn't and I ended up picking up a drink. When I did 'phone my sponsor, she was horrified and instantly asked me why I hadn't 'phoned her.
I now have a sponsee and she knows that she must 'phone me any hour of the day or night if she has a problem or if she wants to talk to someone. Whenever I give out my 'phone number to someone in a meeting I always tell them to 'phone me anytime that they want/need. And, I mean it.
I would much rather be disturbed by a 'phone call than think of somebody back 'out there' drinking again. I'm sure that that will be true for for the lady you spoke to as well.
I could never figure out why the cravings came to me when they did. But, it will happen to you less and less as you start to work the program and advance with the steps.
And, a very big well done on not picking up a drink. You should be feeling very proud of yourself. Congratulations on 52 days! You're doing so well.
Take care,
Carol
-- Edited by Quetzal at 03:27, 2007-04-01
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
What I usually do, since I came to this board, is to come here, and post "I want to drink". I get various responses, from "u must not be working ur program right, and ur a loser", to 'I understand, and want you to hang in there'. I do a share about what seems to be triggering it, and I get responses from "stop b**ching and moaning about your problems", to 'thanks for sharing, and hang in there". Same for being at meetings. A sponsor, however, has indicated that s/he is available and willing to support you as you ride through a rough spot. What you gave as an example to say is what I would say. Sometimes we have to white-knuckle it, and it does help to know that we are not alone. It's part of the program, hun.
love in recovery,
amanda
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
Glad you did not Drink... Next time pick up that 1000 pound phone....i no it is not easy
What i tell guys i sponcer is call anytime of the night if you want to drink i will be there anytime ..
When i get sombody New i always tell them i will Be Temporary Sponcer ...Just in case it does not work out ....and part of that is because they dont'' call '' or want to work this program ''
You can always call the AA hotline ....most are 24 hours.
Before we had the program of AA..it came down to 2 guys talking each other out of drinking '' That was Bill W and DR Bob'' that work then and it still works now..somtimes we need to just talk to other alcoholics .
Sometimes there is stress going on that will trigger the desire, sometimes it seems to come out of the blue. There will be times when life is going great, and I still have those fleeting desires. About four years ago, I went thru a dance and ended up driving down to California and spending two weeks with my sponsor. Rather that than drink. I dont think I"ve ever known anyone that would rather hear "Chris got drunk" than to have their phone ring at whatever hour. When someone offers to sponsor, the phone calls at odd hours are a part of that. Many the night I have spent on the phone at odd hours with someone who needed to talk things out, and I am always totally okay with that.
I"ve read offers here on the board, when someone was going thru a rough time, that if they stayed on the forum people were willing to stay the night here talking to them. Myself, when it's someone I see hurting, will give them my phone number if it's a woman and I know them enough to feel they wont abuse it, with an open ended invitation to call no matter what the hour. Remember, helping walk someone through a spot like you are talking about is how alot of us stay sober. As long as I've been on this board, a bit over a year or so, I have never seen anyone blasted for being sober and having the desire to drink, I have only read exceptional support.
Don't ever hesitate to call someone. Bottom line is, it's a matter of life and death, and that phone call could very well save your life. Shame on anyone who would be upset about your call. It's what AA is about, and I remember dialing the phone myself and talking until three in the morning to get me thru a tough time. It's what we are here for, right? Big hug, Chris
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"Never argue with an idiot... They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience..."
Just wanted to add .. I agree with what everyone has said. Call, call, call.. even at four AM. Some day you'll be getting those calls yourself. :) Id like to also suggest, get a sponsor asap. Congrats on 52 days!
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My warranty on tomorrow has run out. My guarantee on the past is void. Nothing is going my way... and I like it like that.
You know, my sponsee is one of the reasons my cell phone is by my bed at night and in my pocked on vibrate all through my work day. Although... she did manage to get around the fear of "calling and waking me up" she sends text messages - lots and lots of text messages, and I respond to them right away, but she knows she can call me.
I got to give her a one year medallion last Wednesday, so we're doing something right!
