been to an AA meeting the last two weeks. It is NOT a closed meeting. And I have been welcomed by every member I have spoken to. Given hugs and shaking hands. This has been good for my recovery. Listening to the shares has helped me to understand why the alcoholics in my life have hurt me in the past.
NOW, I am getting some comments frome AL-ANON members. Saying I should NOT be there. As I am not an alcoholic. Is Al-Anon's 12 steps not addapted from AA. Do we not work similar programme's. I am doing so well right now in my programme. I have opened up a f2f group, and I feel good about myself....lol. (Something i struggle to do).
So am I wrong. Should I NOT got to AA meetings, even if they are open. Or should I do whats best for me, and my programme.
Sittng in a AA meeting does one special thing for me.....It gives me "HOPE", when I listen to people sharing, most of the time I can identify with them...lol, and thats kind of weird.....Guess i'm one of the lucky one's who never took to alcohol...
This is what I would suggest......this is only a suggestion that you can take or leave. Do what you feel is most comfortable and be where you feel you are learning the most. If that means AA then by all means go there. Most would tell me I am an ALANONER and question why it is that among AA members I feel more comfortable. I had tried ALANON and my experience and MY view was simply alot of people getting togethor complaining (that's a nice way of putting my REAL description) about those in their lives who drank alcohol. To me I had already done that with my AH and it didn't work. All the bitching in the world threats ect didn't help. I still, however, wanted to "learn" how best to live with him, cope with his life style, ect. I decided to "flip the coin" and check out AA. There is an old saying that says "until you have walked in my shoes......" To gain wisdom, knowledge, and understanding guess one would say that the best way is to do just that.....put yourself in the other person's shoes. Figuratively rather that literally that is. I came to this site and began reading the posts. I read the Big Book and go back to it every now and then. I remained "silent" and did this repeatedly. Over and over I read the 12 steps. FOR ME PERSONALLY the members AA gave me the tools that helped. Their wisdom and understanding of the disease far surpasses any other for me because they have journeyed through the worst of the disease and now help others to make their journey to sobriety. Whoever has told you, working the steps in each of the programs is different in my opinion is feeding you a bunch of baloney. One can apply just about ANYTHING, they are struggling to overcome in their life to the steps and working them. This is what I've learned from AA and MIP members. When one reads the posts in the beginning, yes, it is alcohol that the mind of the reader is centered on as the problem. Over time, however, there are many other of life's issues that have been brought to life and somehow someway those steps whether one, two, or all of them can be applied. Only you can decide which has/is helping YOU meet the goals you are seeking. There are people who have conquered their addictions/coped with a loved one's without knowing the steps on their own. However, the more those people have revealed how they did it, the more one can see unbeknowst to them they had indeed worked them. I AM NOT PUTTING ALANON DOWN. Many have been helped by this organization. From where I was emotionally, physically, and mentally a few years ago, AA has been a God sent gift. I can look back NOW and see what the priests, counselor, family, & friends, among others, were exactly the same as the 12 steps program of AA. I had to take my own path.....that led me to and through AA, however, and it has been by continuing this path I have become wiser and my life has been enriched and blessed. This is what I suggest to you.......listen to your heart and it is almost assured it will lead you in the direction that is right for you.
I've been to all kinds of 12 Step groups. Some of them focus on one's own need for self-improvement, and some of them are supposed to do that but it turns into a big pity party about that someone else has hurt them and it is all their fault. The ones who tend to focus on the faults of other, whether it be an alcoholic "I drink because s/he drives me crazy", or and alanoner "I have to take care of me, and the A in my life is so bad I have to 'detach', to the Adult Child who has the attitude, 'yeah, I'm really messed up, but I have a right to be in my righteous reactions to my evil parents. A big part of my recovery has been, like you, to begin to see and understand the human frailty of others, and to soften my anger, transforming it to more patience, and constructive attitudes on MY part. The percentage of poeple working on their own self-improvement tands to be higher in AA, and that is why I spend more time in AA. You are welcome at any open meeting, and further, I have to give you a lot of credit for your empathy and efforts at working toward the COMMON good between you and your loved one.
I salute you.
love in recovery,
amanda
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
