haven't been able to make it to a meeting all week with my back givin me problems... been talking to lots of friends in the program though... Talked to a newcomer today that my bf and I met last week at our Thurs night meeting, my bf's been talking to him quite a bit and suggested I give him a call and let him know we wouldn't be there tonight... so we talked for awhile, he's doing really well actually, a week and a half sober, going to 2 meetings a day, in counseling and anger management... called another woman I met at the convention last weekend and we talked a bit... she told me to call her again tomorrow. She's unfortunately already told me she doesn't have time in her life right now to sponsor anyone, but I'm thinking of asking her if she'll at least get me through the step I'm on, I was in the middle of step 3 when I moved out here... and not having luck with finding a sponsor... and my sponsor back home suggested I get someone to just work that step with me at least. The people in the chat I go to said it would be ok to get my bf to take me through step 3 if I wanted... but I figured it'd be more appropriate getting another woman to do it... *shrug* I dunno.
Getting to the dr tomorrow for my back... my bf and the woman I talked to tonight suggested not taking anything for the pain if I can help it tonight, so that nothing's in my system when I see the dr... b/c the dr might go by my blood pressure to determine what kind of pain I'm in and the meds could lower my blood pressure and not show the dr how bad it is? I dunno. So... if I can sleep without them I will... but it's been so bad it wakes me up about the time the pill is wearing off... my bf told me today he knows I'm in pain because I never wake up during the night. Once I'm out, I'm out. It was like clockwork last night, woke up at midnight in pain and had to take one, woke up at 4am and had to take one,, then woke up at 8 and tried to just suffer through it, finally had to take one later this morning. I don't usually take them during the day, try to just take them at night so I'm able to sleep through it, but it's been worse today. I haven't been able to sit up much. About to have to go lie down again. Had to skip out on our bible study, just tried to listen to it from lying down in the bedroom. Got really stir crazy and thought I'd try going to the coffeeshop for a bit, was only able to sit for one cup and had to come home and lie down. Aaaaaaaarrrrggghhh... I really hate this. I hate not being able to get to meetings... last time it gave me this problem I was able to lie down and do online meetings at least, but we don't have wireless internet here, or a cable long enough to reach to the bed. So I guess I'm SOL and will have to just settle for talking to alcoholics on the phone.
Sorry, I'm whining again. I feel like such a baby. It never got this bad when it gave me problems last fall though... I almost can't tolerate it.
I do hope that you will be able to sort out your back problems. There is nothing worse than back pain. I hope that it all goes well for you when you see your GP.
And, I do hope that you will be able to get to a meeting soon.
Take good care of yourself,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
wow! i feel for your pain, as i've been having similar very bad pain also. I just started physical therapy yesterday. Doctors do not measure pain by the blood pressure! But we chemical addicts do try to only take things that are not addicting or to keep to a bare minimum the things that are addicting.
I strongly advice against having the boyfriend do the STep 3 with you. He's too likely to try to be the Higher Power that you are turning things over to!
love in recovery,
amanda
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
