Spent last night and today at an AA convention in Lincoln... it was great! it was my second convention to go to... and I get all hyped up after conventions lol I've been wired tonight. There were 2 speakers from Nashvile, TN there today (and I'm from Memphis...) and I asked my bf if I really talked that southern... lol he said I did :) Met some good people, found out about a couple of meetings out here to try... met a really nice lady that I exchanged phone numbers with... and she seemed like someone I'd possibly want to ask to be a sponsor... but she told me that her life is too busy to sponsor people right now, she's not available enough... but I'd like to get to know her at least... found out about a young people's meeting here, it's way on the other side of lincoln... but I wanna try it out at least... cuz I haven't seen any young people in the meetings I've gone to so far...
I'm on my second temp sponsor here... and thinkin this one won't work either... she seems great actually, I really like her from when I've talked to her so far and hearing her share in meetings... but she seems too busy, not available enough... she wants me to call once a week... and so far I've gotten the impression that I'm not supposed to call more than that, I only have her home number, and I can't ever reach her at home... so what if I'm in a crisis or somethin and need to talk to her? and it takes her several days to call me back when I have tried to call her... I didn't talk to her for 2 weeks actually and she wasn't at the meetings either in those 2 weeks (it's a once a week meeting)... so... I dunno. I just feel like as early as I am in my sobriety, I should have a sponsor that's more available... like my sponsor back home, she required me to call every day, even if I just got her voicemail, to leave a message saying I'm checking in and that I'm alright... when I finally talked to my sponsor last thursday, when we were getting off the phone she said "well I guess I'll talk to you next week"... like um, ok, guess I shouldn't call until next week... maybe I was spoiled with my sponsor back home, I dunno. I do really like this woman... just... well, the other thing, I want to get back into working the steps... my sponsor back home stressed to me to get a sponsor here asap and get back into the steps... well this sponsor said she wants to know me for about 3 months before she starts on the steps with me, to get to know me better first. Well how are we supposed to get to know each other if I never get to talk to her?
I didn't think a whole lot about it at first, thought maybe that's how it really is with sponsors and I was just lucky with my one back home... but I met this lady at the convention today and we were talking about that, and she thought the same as I did, that sponsors should be available to their sponsees and that I should be talking to my sponsor every day or at least nearly every day...
Well... my sponsor back home said when her first sponsor moved she went through 6 in one month before she found a good one... lol I don't want to have to go through that many... but if I have to I guess I will...
I'm gonna try to get to the meeting in Ashland, the next town over from us, more... it's only 7 miles away... and there were more women at that one this past Sunday... thought maybe I ought to get to know the women that live closer... where it'd be more convenient to get together... there's a coffeeshop here in Greenwood, and one over there in Ashland... so I could meet up with them there... maybe one of them would make a good sponsor...
Oh, and my first temp sponsor out here, that I ranted about...??? I ran into her at the convention... she couldn't even remember my name... and she had called me... after I was advised to not call her back... and couldn't even get my name right then (this was only a few days after I had last talked to her) kept calling me Laurie... and was definitely on something, was all muddled and repeating herself a lot... So... I guess it's a good thing that I didn't stick with her...
Sorry for the ramble... lol I'm a bit wired tonight lol
Hope y'all are having fun in the MIP-a-thon.... I'd join in... but... it's 3am and I've gotta get to bed... gotta cut down a ton of trees tomorrow and cut up firewood in case it gets cold again... yup, warming up, the farmwork has begun... lol
The convention sounds great. I went to my first one last year and I felt so connected and 'alive' when it was over. It's a great feeling.
I have a wonderful sponsor that I know I could call anytime day or night if I needed to speak/see her. She was the first contact with AA that I had and I liked her and liked her sobriety. She's quiet and reflective and what she says to me and shares in meetings makes sense.
I also have a sponsee and she knows that she MUST call me any hour if she has a problem. She has my home number and my mobile number. We see each other two or three times a week at meetings and whenever she wants to. We live fairly close so its not problem arranging to meet. We also speak several times each week over the 'phone.
I would suggest that you try a few new meetings, if you can, and see if you can find yourself a good permanent sponsor who will carry on guiding you through the steps and who is available if you need her. I know that I would be lost without my sponsor.
Please let us know what happens, won't you?
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Thanks Carol, I'll keep y'all posted... It's Sunday so there's the meeting in Ashland tonight... we're going to it and I'll try to get some women's phone numbers... I've always been bad about asking people for numbers... in my homegroup down in Memphis, I never really asked people for numbers, I had several on my newcomer's packet they passed around at my first meeting and I'd occasionally call them... my sponsor gave me her sponsor's number, and I called her quite a bit if I couldn't reach my sponsor... then I had a couple of friends that we exchanged numbers... but I never really went around asking for numbers... and here... I got one woman's number and never called her... got these 2 women's numbers that I've asked to be sponsors that aren't working out... then that woman at the convention... I dunno, I think it's my shyness thing... but I need to work on that. I'll get some numbers tonight, try to get to talking to some women there.
The meeting that I think I'll make my homegroup... I absolutely love it, feel right at home there, but there's generally only one other woman in there besides me each week... I mean, there's a few women that go there, but usually it's me and just one of the other women or maybe 2. It's mostly men, so I haven't gotten really any numbers there 'cept my sponsor's. actually it seemed so weird to me, I'm getting to know the guys in there and one of them actually gave me his number, and it wasn't to hit on me I don't think, I don't think he woulda actually done it if I wasn't living with a guy... lol he gave it to me but was sorta giving it to both of us, wants to meet up with us to go to the meeting in Ashland with us. But back home, it was a little more seperated between men and women... I mean, we had guy friends in our little circle that hung out, but with me being new in sobriety, I never got a man's phone number. But here, it just seems like there are so many more men in the groups than women that if you wanna get to know you're group, I'll have to get to know the men more... but with my group back home, it was fairly even on the number of men to number of women, more women to get to know... I dunno... The only women's meeting I've heard about is a morning meeting... and I'm so not a morning person... lol
Another thing, in Memphis at least... from what I've heard and seen, you don't offer to be someone's sponsor at all... with Alisha, my sponsor there, her friend told me that Alisha wanted to work with me and that I should give her a call... so I called her, and asked if that meant she wanted to be my sponsor, and she was like, well, it's up to you to pick your sponsor, I can't offer it... or something to that effect, and I already had talked to her some and liked her so I asked her. That's how it worked there... up here, both women who I've tried as sponsors offered to be my sponsor, I didn't ask them. Although my bf pointed out with the second one, it was more cuz I was telling her I had a problem with the first one and I needed to find a new one... *shrug* This woman at the meeting in Ashland last week asked if I had a sponsor yet, and I think she was going to offer too... I guess that's just how they do things here... ?
Alright, I'll stop my rambling... we've noticed I've sorta gone on the upswing lately... I'm not exactly manic... but I went from being drugged out and all that on meds... to kinda going total opposite... and I need to find a happy medium... and NOT by using meds... gonna work on eating healthy, adjust my sleep schedule... cut down on the coffee and cigarettes... my bf pointed out I drink most the pot of coffee in the morning, and that I'm smoking more, so like I'm using uppers and downers... and I'm not doing it intentionally... I didn't realize I was... so... gotta start working on myself and get myself evened out... he joked with me that he's gonna throw me back on those meds cuz I talk too d*mn much lol
