I'm looking for a new sponsor. The one I have is young (29), has 18 months sober and is not in and has not been in the same place in life as I. He was an in-out of Jail-drug-alky and never had much. His biggest issues in life now tend to deal with his resenment toward his roommate and scheduling his busy work appointments. He offers nothing in familiy or relationship experiences, therefore he does not have what I want.
I want someone with 10 years plus, someone who has kids, is married and has a good life.
The feeling was mutual for my old sponser as he told me he could not sponsor me if I could not call him EVERY day, even on the three days a week we attended nightly meetings together. He said this after 1 offense of not calling (on a meeting day) and I quickly accepted his threat to drop me. He said he does not want to be responsible for my death. How arrogant of him, I thought.
I know i shocked him a bit, but I was toiling over dropping him, but was not going to do so until after I found the right new sponsor.
I'm working the program alone now, but contacting other alcoholics every day. I'm going to lunch meetings close to work so I now don't need to sacrifice evenings for AA in lue of Family responsibilities, which I have from 5-8 pm after work. My wife works 12-8 pm. 2 nights a week it's trouble for her to leave early so I can make the 8 pm meeting. This bothered my sponsor as well.
Anyway, just a vent with silver linings!!
I'm still happy to be here, and happy to be sober, I'm just doing it more alone lately.
For what it's worth, I think you did the right thing, although I (personally) wouldn't put a definate on that 10 yrs you mentioned......Don't stress over not having a sponsor right now, just keep going to your meetings, working your program and contacting atleast one AA everyday, when your sponsor shows up, you'll know it.
((((Hugs)))))
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
Well done on all of your hard work and being on month four. That is a super achievement.
I echo all that Doll said to you. As long as you keep going to your meetings and having daily contact with another alcoholic your new sponsor will show when the time is right.
Please keep posting and let us know how things go for you, won't you?
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
blimey if I spoke to my sponcer everyday id strangle him! and likewise, I have seen others in AA who collect sponcees like tropheys. beware of dodgy sponcers. I think we aught to use experian.
