Motives are important in dealing with other people. If we're frank with someone and that person gets upset, we might think he or she just can't handle our directness, our honesty. But "honesty" without love is more like brutal frankness. If we want to be confrontational, we have to put up with the consequences.
But what is the real reason for being confrontational ("honest"), for pointing out others' flaws? Are we perhaps afraid that our own flaws will be discovered? Are we protecting ourselves by focusing attention on others?
Are my motives always honest?
Higher Power, help me see where my motives are selfish or mean or petty, so that I stay honest in my program.
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Oh, Carol this is so right-on. When I see myself zeroing in on somebody else like that, I know for a fact that there is something in them that I recognise. I have learned that even tho I will still do it (not verbally, but in my head), I can now use it as a tool of awareness of what's going on with me, where I may need to make changes. Being judgemental of others is, for me, very self-destructive in a spiritual sense. Who the heck am I, to be taking anyone else's inventory when I have a full list of my own to correct? There is such a difference between acknowledging that someone else has issues and then move on, to using someone else's issues to deny my own. Excellent post, thank you. Chris
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"Never argue with an idiot... They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience..."
I think I've been honest lately,, but got myself into a situation again... I think another alcoholic,,, and things got centered around him,,, and I lost myself. Thanks for the reminder not to get so caught up in someone else's issues that I lose sight of my own needs for growth.
love in recovery,
amanda
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
