I'm going on my 4th consecutive day of sobriety. I haven't gone this long without at drink in over 6 months. I feel really good, although there are moments I feel a slight urge. But anyway...Friday night I am invited / expected to attend a birthday bash for my best friend in a club here in NYC. I do not want to go. I do not want to go because I don't know how to have "fun" without drinking. I do not want to go because I feel I am doing good and I'd hate to have the temptation there in my face when i'm not ready to face it. I know that I am still not that strong to say NO. The problem is that I have been honest with her about my situation, but I feel as though she won't understand. She doesn't know the extent of it. How do I go about letting her down? I'd much rather take her out to a birthday lunch. I'd hate to disappoint her but at this point of my life. It is about me, and about me getting good. Am I right or wrong?
Great job on the 4 consecutive days! I completely understand where you are coming from with the whole bday situation. I have been dry for 20 consecutive days and I have been going through the same problem. This is the time where you have to think about yourself and do what's right for you. Your friend should understand. Maybe take your friend to lunch earlier that day and explain the extent of your problem and at the end say that, because of this you do not feel comfortable going. That is what I did anyway and it worked out really well. Good luck and your doing great!
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"Advice is what you ask for when you already know the answer but wish you didn't"
Congrats on four days! First steps on the journey, just wait...there's so much more out there. And now I wonder, how did I ever believe that I was having fun when I was bashed during everything I ever did? You will find things and your outlook changing as time goes on, I promise. I do remember wondering what the hell I was going to do if I wasn't drinking, or how I could stand being so bored. Well, that changed. And a special time devoted to just you and your friend sounds great. That's so personal, so I think you've hit on a good idea. Do what your spirit is telling you to do to stay safe, and know my thoughts are with you. Chris
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"Never argue with an idiot... They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience..."
Well done on four days sober! That's a great achievement.
When I first stopped drinking I wouldn't go anywhere near places with alcohol. I simply didn't trust myself. My close friends know that I am an alcoholic and go to regular AA meetings and they are understanding. But, at first I didn't tell anyone. That was a mistake as a true friend will not only understand, but be very supportive.
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
