It sounds to me like your temp sponsor has a resentment of some kind towards your current significant other. If she can't get past that, which I suspect may be the case, I think it would be wise of you to find a different sponsor. Yes there is supposed to be a depth of honesty between you too, but ultimately a sponsor is your guide through the steps and living sober, they are not there to tell you exactly how to live your life or to berate those you call friends.

I found out recently through a mutual friend that my sponsor has very deep negative feelings towards someone I recently kicked out of my life. She never shared these with me directly, she only offered advice where I asked and related it to the 12 steps, and for that I am grateful because it allowed me to follow the path and go through the process which I was meant to, and not take action in my life until I was entirely ready. That's not to say that there's anything wrong with your situation, but to say that there are practical reasons for a sponsor not to allow their personal emotions/resentments dictate how they will sponsor you.

Lisa,
I'm not knowledgable about AA, and so I can't comment about how appropriate or innappropriate this temporary sponsor is behaving according to the AA way. That said, after reading through your post, Lisa, I really want to send you praryer and feelings of support and hope that this matter will be resolved in the best way possible for you.
Take care,
Laura

Eh, thousands of people visit this board, where you have posted every detail of your private life, along with links to your blogs, name, family, etc, with more information than anyone needed to know. Not many come in with their head screwed on straight, just part of it.

 It would behoove us at this difficult, confusing, and painful juncture, to listen to the things we do not want to hear, and do the things we do not want to, otherwise, end up with the same and worse than where we were before.

This lady who had much more reason than us to know these things went for the jugular of what's going on with LISA, and she was naturally taken back, by a pretty eyebrow-raising situation.

You'll find plenty of folks who will pat you on the ass, tell you 'good girl', no matter what your into or where your heading, some don't know their arse from a hole in the ground and simply need to justify the same things at work in their life, more out of immaturity than ill intentions.

You'll also find folks do know better, just batting for a different team.

A little bird flew into a blizzard came near freezing, landed in a pasture, cow came along. Saw 'm freezing, took a dump right on it. Little bird stayed warm and toasty under that pile.
Coyote came along, sensed it in there, dug it out and ate it.

Not everyone that dumps on you wants to hurt you, not everyone who digs you out wants to help.

-- Edited by RyanS at 08:23, 2007-02-22

If you were my daughter or close personal friend or something along those lines I would want to impress upon you the idea of erring on the side of caution. Most everything will wait, and were I in your position I'd eventually get around to wondering- despite it being a scary proposition at the time- if it wouldn't be more advantageous for me at that time to be standing on my own two feet rather than latching onto something convenient. The whole internet thing has me scratching my head a little. That kinda stuff didn't happen all that often when we were writing letters with pen and paper. I think the internet dating thing is a little flag that has to do with the immediacy of our needs, and how we want everything now- but I suppose 99% of that would be another topic.

It sounds to me like you fell victim to this temporary sponsor's inability to present things in a fashion that you could handle. People do what they can. I'd guess that she probably meant well, that she has some valid points and needs to work on her presentation. As antiseptic as it may sound, people need to present ideas just like they're trying to sell something. Especially concerning something as important as this.

-- Edited by TLH at 13:26, 2007-02-22

More yellow flags there.  That woman might actually have done you a big favor by giving you some perspectives. How about the women who are not still his friends?   And she offered you a place to stay in town. We've told you about our concerns before, that this is not a good move or a healthy relationship.  But  it looks like you are going to play this out, and, like Phil said, that is your choice and prerogative.   We can tell someone not to touch the fire because fire burns,   but some people have to learn that the hard way.  Your temp sponsor didn't tell you what you want to hear,,,   so you are going to get one that does,,,  the easier softer way.  You have been warned.  About her meds, um, isn't that about the same as your meds?  About how her condition affects her judgement, isn't that about how your condition affects your judgement?

love in recovery,

amanda

I know some of y'all are concerned, and don't think I'm doing the right thing... but I believe this has been one of the best decisions I've made, I'm doing so much better since I got here. And Amanda, by the way, I'm not on medication anymore and am doing much better without it. I'm really happy here, I love being out here in the country, on this farm, helping out with what I can... I'm adjusting really well, and honestly don't think I'd go back to city living for anything.

We got Ben's sponsor's advice on the thing with this temp sponsor... he said she's got a prescription drug problem, gets into other people's business then spreads it around, and that at a meeting the other night she was taking his inventory after the meeting. He advised me not to call her anymore, said that she's bad news.

We went to the Thurs night meeting where I had met that other woman, and I got to talk to her some afterward, she's my new temp sponsor, she seems to know her stuff from hearing her share in meetings and talking with her after the meetings. We'll see how this one works out...

And it's not that I'm trying to find someone who will tell me what I want to hear. I do understand and expect a lot of crap on my living situation, being here with a man with such a huge age difference and all that, making big changes in the first year, I do expect people to be concerned. But I think that other woman pried way too much, she shouldn't get that involved in my personal life and grill me with that many questions, then make judgments on my boyfriend whom she doesn't even know. Then hearing about her from Ben's sponsor, I'm thinking it's best I don't stick with her.