Add alcohol to this one...and its disasterous PTSD and RELATIONSHIPS A National Center Fact Sheet
Trauma survivors with PTSD often experience problems in their intimate and family relationships or close friendships. PTSD involves symptoms that interfere with trust, emotional closeness, communication, responsible assertiveness, and effective problem solving:Loss of interest in social or sexual activities, and feeling distant from others, as well as feeling emotionally numb. Partners, friends, or family members may feel hurt, alienated, or discouraged, and then become angry or distant toward the survivor. Feeling irritable, on-guard, easily startled, worried, or anxious may lead survivors to be unable to relax, socialize, or be intimate without being tense or demanding. Significant others may feel pressured, tense, and controlled as a result. Difficulty falling or staying asleep and severe nightmares prevent both the survivor and partner from sleeping restfully, and may make sleeping together difficult. Trauma memories, trauma reminders or flashbacks, and the attempt to avoid such memories or reminders, can make living with a survivor feel like living in a war zone or living in constant threat of vague but terrible danger. Living with an individual who has PTSD does not automatically cause PTSD; but it can produce "vicarious" or "secondary" traumatization, which is almost like having PTSD. Reliving trauma memories, avoiding trauma reminders, and struggling with fear and anger greatly interferes with survivors' abilities to concentrate, listen carefully, and make cooperative decisions -- so problems often go unresolved for a long time. Significant others may come to feel that dialogue and teamwork are impossible.
Survivors of childhood sexual and physical abuse, rape, domestic violence, combat, or terrorism, genocide, torture, kidnapping or being a prisoner of war, often report feeling a lasting sense of terror, horror, vulnerability and betrayal that interferes with relationships:Feeling close, trusting, and emotionally or sexually intimate may seem a dangerous "letting down of my guard" because of past traumas -- although the survivor often actually feels a strong bond of love or friendship in current healthy relationships. Having been victimized and exposed to rage and violence, survivors often struggle with intense anger and impulses that usually are suppressed by avoiding closeness or by adopting an attitude of criticism or dissatisfaction with loved ones and friends. Intimate relationships may have episodes of verbal or physical violence. Survivors may be overly dependent upon or overprotective of partners, family members, friends, or support persons (such as healthcare providers or therapists). Alcohol abuse and substance addiction -- as an attempt to cope with PTSD -- can destroy intimacy or friendships
In the first weeks and months following the traumatic event, survivors of disasters, terrible accidents or illnesses, or community violence often feel an unexpected sense of anger, detachment, or anxiety in intimate, family, and friendship relationships. Most are able to resume their prior level of intimacy and involvement in relationships, but the 5-10% who develop PTSD often experience lasting problems with relatedness and intimacy.
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"LOVE" devoid of self-gratification, is in essence, the will, to the greatest good...of another.
You know I was in a plane crash, yeah? Midnight christmas eve of 2000, fa'aa, Papeete Tahiti. Divorced about 17 months after. I think one suicide and five divorces came out of that crash that I know of, and I only know of myself and the crew, and it was a full plane- 139 passengers and 15 crew. And all in all, it really wasn't that disastrous of a crash.
I was screened pretty radically for PTSD and all of the pros- and some of them a couple top forensic shrinks for the aviation underwriters- said that I wasn't suffering from PTSD. But I did get a bit of an education in mental health and PTSD in the process. I personally feel like there's a huge gray area in between having PTSD and being perfectly fine, and I'm not qualified to say exactly what that gray area is, but I'll bet if you got ahold of the statistics on every passenger on that plane from that point forward to the present day you'd find the divorce, suicide and substance abuse thing way higher than the ones I know of (again- just my family, the crew and myself.)
That mishap was at the tail end of 2001. I was seperated around a year or so later, started drinking again around february or march of 2002, divorced in May of 2002. Pretty fricken wierd.
Oh- the reason there's no information on the passengers is that the airlines are protected from litigation for mental anguish on international flights (and so no one did more than a cursory look into it.). I actually think I already posted about this once but I dont remember for sure (no worries- that's just a sign of alsheimers)- in the Warsaw convention international air travel was protected from litigation for mental anguish in a hope of promoting international airline companies. Also the only reason I know about the crew is I occassionally run into a couple of the crew members and one of them gave me the straight dope over coffee one day not too long ago.
Anyhow- interesting article. The forensic shrink that came and screened me after the crash told me that most PTSD victims suffer from substance abuse as a result of the PTSD. I have to wonder about that gray area, and just how many people suffer from intermediate trauma like (low key and undiscovered) childhood abuse, hellacious car accidents, violent crime, etc...that just goes undiagnosed for one reason or another.
good post, sucks to be described to a "T" however....anyways, just realized today that it's my sobriety date....im 20 years sober.....that freakin amazing, what with all the stupid crap i deal with.....not such a great mood as u can probly tell.... sorry....have agood 24
thanks guys, and hey what about me being such a dork that i forgot about it until my mouse pointer accidently landed on the date thingy in the bottom corner! now i feel so stupid i dont even want to mention it to my freinds..(false pride) i know, i know...sigh..back to the drawing board i guess.
Well done for your 20th Cindy & sticking around to tell the tale. I've been hearing alot about service lately & how sometimes when people get sober they move on & choose different lives. It shows tenacity & commitment for you to remain faithful to the Fellowship & to offer others what has been given to you. I'm approaching 5months sober (it feels good to say that) & feel like I've let go of a lot of my previous attachment, obsession & compulsion regarding alcohol. I'm careful not to let my guard down as I know it's an extremely patient condition that can grasp in sneaky & obvious ways. At this point I'm happy to receive & accept A.A. as a newcomer & allow myself to feel nurtured as a mere sapling. I know that when I've grown strong & experienced it's really possible that I may need A.A. more than ever & service can become a natural expression of that. That's not something I have to be anywhere near worrying about as it doesn't do to predict the future & living in the Day is becoming a dependable facet of my recovery. I'm happy to commit to small gestures of service at this level & will build on more as I mature. Thanks for keeping strong with the grace of God & reflecting what keeping in with A.A. principles & Fellowship can achieve. Hope I haven't assumed anything too much, I'm obviously still a baby! Thanks Cindy, Danielle xxxx
-- Edited by Sobrietyspell at 08:35, 2007-02-19
-- Edited by Sobrietyspell at 08:37, 2007-02-19
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