Ive been married for a little over a month, my beautiful wife is SO understanding... I had cut back my drinking for over a year but recently she found a bottle of vodka that I was hiding, she caught me redhanded and I admitted to sneaking shots almost on a daily basis. I love this woman with all my heart and I cant explain to you how nice her confrontation was, but I feel cornered, with my back against the wall because Im so guilty. I promised no more liquor in the house because thats my kryptonite. Is it okay to have beer around when I dont hide that from her like I did with the vodka? I have a fridge FULL of beer from the wedding and shes fine with me drinking during my favorite college football teams and all but I dont want to lose her, she means everything to me. But I also dont want to lose the fact that I like drinking beer on social occasions. She confronted me today and then had a doctors appt, so I proceeded to drink a vodka and red bull while she was gone, knowing it was wrong, and the guilt is killing me. She asked me if I drank and I said NO, but she knew about the bottle and saw that I did, any other woman would have freaked out but she called me out on my lie, and I just felt devestated, Im lying to the woman I love, and I dont want to do it anymore, can I just kick the vodka out and have a beer here and there? I dont know. In the past 6 months I went to a AA meeting and there was nothing but losers and drug addicts, it did nothing for me, I couldnt wait to get out of there, I hate to believe Im too independent to share my struggle with anyone other than myself.
Apparently my new post wont update
I have fallen into the same trap, we have since moved to a new city in Fort Worth, and Im falling into the same modes, there is a liquor store nearby and I cant help but stopping by and buying more vodka
anyway, she keeps catching me, YES FUCKING YES I KEEP DRINKING VODKA GODDAMMIT
we are going to Christian counseling next week, I need to admit to myself that there is a problem
but answer me this: Is there any hope to socially drink beer in the future?
Only YOU can answer that question for yourself. I had been trying to prove to myself for over a decade that I could drink "socially" (like a "normal" person) and proved myself wrong. I cannot do that. Now,... are you going to spend that amount of time, maybe more, maybe less trying to prove it to yourself? Are you willing to POSSIBLY sacrifice the marriage you have and any other thing that may be precious to you for the satisfaction you get from the buzz, glow, whatever you wish to term the effects of alcohol on you? Give it some good, untainted, sober thought. Good fortune to you with the decision you are going to have to make and live with...Tim
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"We posess the eyes through which the universe gazes with wonder upon its own majesty."
“Is there any hope to socially drink beer in the future?”
The only person who can answer that honestly is you. For this alcoholic, I tried for a very long time to drink 'normally' and failed almost every single time. Even when I didn't fail, I wasn't happy and was obsessing about alcohol. My life was in a mess. But, it doesn't have to be that way any more.
I do hope that you will consider going to another AA meeting. Please don't judge AA on just one meeting. There are some wonderful people to be met in AA.
Please let us know how it goes for you, won't you?
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
