Hello, I made the mistake of stopping by MB today and read the posts to my thread...
Oh, how that hurt my heart...just not being understood, by it appears to be condemned for my choice...
All this time I felt that I had friends who supported me there...it was just dishearting...
Someone said in Al-anon that OP's opinion are none of my business...well, lesson learned I guess...
It's just nice to be understood...I've been wanting to get to a meeting but when I try to read my CAL material I feel overwhelmed the past few days...I'm not sure what that feeling is...it's like a knot in my chest and I'm not sure what to do about it...
I thought at first to relax on my program a little...perhaps I have been pushing myself to hard...I slept alot Sunday...my DH was at work all weekend, so we didn't get to spend any time together...and my babysitter is still in the hospital so, DH stayed home with our youngest son today...
I really feel that my plate is full today...
So, this is where I am right now...I'm hopeful that my present mood, situation will improve...
I'm just in the "long night of suffering," waiting for the new season to begin...
Thanks for letting me share...I would appreciate any thoughts that you or anyone have...Have a blessed day!
Hi again Rinder. I can't say that I understand your situation entirely. I have no idea what the MB link is. What I think I can see though is that you are bearing some disappointment about what you've "expected" from others...as in "..how that hurt my heart..just not being understood..." Please read the posts below on wants/needs/expectations. Thay may be helpful to you in your situation. What I know won't be of help is dealing with your hurt feelings in the old way-a drink or whatever. As you've probably found, it's like throwing gasoline on a fire. Take a good overview of things, posts, whatever is troubling you, and be secure in what you KNOW to be true for yourself and not what others may believe is true. Love in recovery...Tim
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"We posess the eyes through which the universe gazes with wonder upon its own majesty."
hi, I agree with tim in that when we have expectations of others they can always be disappointing. You say that you thought to ease up on the Steps, but I have found, for myself, that I need to work them harder at times of difficulty, cuz that is what helps me get through. For me, I have stopped expecting much of anybody, including myself, and the only one that doesn't disappoint me, in fact always amazes me is my Higher Power, God.
I don't know what the 'choice' is that you refer to, or why it didn't go over very well with some other people.
I'm sorry that you are having a hard time and suffering. I know what that is like since I am suffering also. It can be quite overwhelming at times. You'll be in my prayers.
love in recovery,
amanda
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
Good Morning! I was on a marriage builders website before and it was suggested that I attend Al-anon. So, I began attending meeting and found that I liked my Al-anon program better than the principles used on that site.I decided to surrender to win and the members there stopped supporting my decision. I am still coming to terms with my new reality...learning to mind my own business...I am really amazed at how people don't understand the program and how it's really about our serenity. The princilpes of their program recommended snooping to end the Affair and it was getting to be to much for me...it seemed to me that it was creating more of a problem than it was worth.So, here I am, I decided to stop checking the cell bill to see if my H was still having contact with the other woman and after I announced my choice I was being told that I was settling and lots of negative stuff. So, I thought it would be in my best interest to find a site that supported my program.The road has been long in getting here but I'm here with wonderful people to let me know that I have fallen off my path and need to refocus on myself.So, I really appreciate you sharing your ES &H, it means the world to me. Thank you! Tim are very right about me expectations...I did expect them to support me no matter what...I was wrong...I can say that being on the site was right for me when I started...it was a good chose and has allowed me to come this for...
I just need to keep in mind that I am taking the next step up the staircase...
Sorry you got flack from the boards. Their process of creating conflict to win can work for some if you are willing to go through the mental breakdowns associated to it.
Our let go method is the best thing for us and we know this. Keep strong and keep on your coarse. The change is slowly happening!
We had to get new cell phones tonight...H's screen broke and mine...we thought it was the battery but it was the phone...
I have to say that it made me uncomfortable tonight...
I was learning the phone and it has a call reject feature...I said "WOW, call reject that's cool!"
H asked "why, who do you want to reject?"
I said "I can think of one person, but that's none of my concern."
JMO, I don't think that went over well. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think that I'm just restating my boundary...I can't tolerate him talking to her...I have to pay the bill tonight before we got new cells...
Remember I had asked him to change mine and he could take care of the bill himself if he was going to continue to talk to her...he hasn't done anything with it, so I guess when the bill is due, I'll let him know and he can pay it...
Let me know if I'm doing this boundary thing wrong... Well, I hope that everyone has a good night...
I'm trying to think positive and when negative thoughts come into my head, I'm telling myself to stop...LOL...practice is progess...
Tim are very right about me expectations...I did expect them to support me no matter what...I was wrong...I can say that being on the site was right for me when I started...it was a good chose and has allowed me to come this for...