New thread re an old thread

Sobrietyspell · MIP Old Timer

New thread re an old thread

Laura · Senior Member

Hi Danielle,

I think your post was one of the first ones I read fully through here. Reading your honest post about your experience was inspiring. I'm really (and I mean REALLY) new to this and it helps to read about other people who have a little time under their belt but also appear relatively new to sobriety. I hope that statement is not offensive. I mean it in the best possible ways. Reading about people who have been sober for 10 years is wonderful but also a little daunting to me.

I wish you an amazing and wonderful day tomorrow, Friday. Well, I wish everyone here a wonderful day tomorrow.

-Laura

Sobrietyspell · MIP Old Timer

Hiya Laura, welcome on~line! I enjoyed your first post too, really brave & honest. You got great feed~back too so I hope you're feeling good about joining us already. Sobriety's strange. It's like whole new territory for me so I'm not offended, it's the truth! It's like the mystery of watching a movie for the first time & not knowing what's going to happen. Getting drunk was like a merry~go~round & I bet pretty much all of us could predict some of the shite that would happen! Some other stuff would take us by surprise but we wouldn't want to be repeating those. Staying sober is like an adventure in coming to know yourself & there's such great pleasure in that. I'm 29.. 30 in March so it's not a moment too soon for me! Sometimes I've wondered, do I have to really be putting myself through this? Other drinkers just get on with it, surely it's not that bad?? But it doesn't have to be any worse & I don't want it to be. I've seen what can happen to others & I know I'm not special or different in that way so other people's experiences are inspiring in that I can learn from them & not have to go there ~ ever ~ One Day at a Time of course! AA is an amazing place. It's traditions, morals & discipline are awe~inspiring. I feel so proud & loved to be a member. The only problem is we can feel ashamed or embarressed about admitting our weakness & coming in & decide not to go round telling everybody lest we get sacked, judged, ostracised. I can't help telling (wellchosen) people about it.. 1. Because I'm self~obsessed & think people may find it interesting 2. I'm not a great conversationalist when it comes to current affairs or general knowledge so I pretty much have to rely on my experiences for material! lol I am a genuine person & always seeking self & human~nature knowledge so I see this kind of chat as fulfilling on a purpose yet I trestle with my anonymity because at the same time it under~pins our humility. Striking that balance is something I'm learning. You say you're intensely private so maybe this won't be a problem for you. You can keep your membership for yourself & it's nothing to be ashamed of really (that's just our pride). The things I've learned in AA have been so beautiful & insightful that in taking it on you can't help but become a better person. & loveable. We learn to love & be loved & really, that seems to be all we've ever wanted. Thanks for replying, Laura, enjoy your sobriety & try some meetings. It doesn't have to be forever ~ Just for Today ;) xx Danielle xx

P.s. Please forgive where I've generalised as I can only truly speak for myself. If others identify then that's a bonus! Thanks for listening; Catch you soon x

-- Edited by Sobrietyspell at 07:31, 2007-01-26

Wren · MIP Old Timer

Jeez Danielle, did you ever hit the nail. Loved and be loved, alot of it comes down to that, doesn't it? I love how you put yourself right out there, "because I'm self absorbed", I almost blew my coffee on my keyboard when I started laughing. I think for some of us, that self-absorption is necessary, as we've neglected the who of us for so long. Keeping it buried beneath substances, and denying ourselves so much, so many feelings. It really is a journey, to become clean and sober, and even at my age, I'm still learning so much about myself. The program is so spiritual, and traversing the steps in developing that has been a true joy in my life. Giving me the strength, or resilience, to face my demons and develope my relationship with my Higher Power, and allowing others into my life and feelings, albeit carefully. Every day is still new to me and full of promise, if I allow it to be. It's all in how I chose to begin my day. It's all about choices, isn't it? Love your posts, be blessed, Wren

Sobrietyspell · MIP Old Timer

I agree, Wren. Funny how it comes down to that & tis your ditty too. I laughed out loud when I read how it tickled you too. We all know how self~obsessed/absorbed we are & are learning how to use that to best advantage as in tweaking at source. Looking to our own reactions first & sitting firmly in the seat of personal responsibility. Even to the extent of choosing how to look at things. There seems to be so much irony to life & when I was drinking this always used to puzzle me. I could never get my head around being self~absorbed yet wanting to 'peopleplease' at the same time. AA is teaching me how to unravel & untangle the confusions (Btw, I learned in AA that peoplepleasing was a selfish activity with the aim of being liked/seeking approval). I'm also learning that, even though I may not really be 'the centre of the universe', I am wholly responsible for how I react to things. Can you see how that may have confused me when I was a drinker? 'What? I'm not the centre of the universe but you're asking me to control myself in such a way as to have the best effect for myself & for others? You what??' The confusion in the difference between being humble yet having that amount of (personal) power. My God, Wren, that near on blew my head off on a daily basis even if unconsciously. Yet now, I'm understanding the difference in the seeming contradiction & that responsibility is beginning to sit more comfortably with me. One simple irony that works well in sharing is that we all know how self~obsessed we can be so there's no need to feel self~conscious about it. It seems to work well that on sharing in meetings no matter where we're at we're comfortable with taking turns speaking our truth as it stands for that moment, good or bad, knowing that we can take turns & will hear others non~judgementally just as we've been heard. We all know we're self~obsessed & agree to share as we are. It's beautiful & fair. We all know why we're doing it too & ultimately we know that in tweaking our self~obsession like a finely~tuned instrument we can be of better service to the world. Thanks for listening, share soon, Dani x