Hi everyone, thanks for being here for & with me. I feel the love already. I've been coming to AA since Aug 7th 06 after 2months of self sobriety & then 'coincidently' began to slip once every other week. This happened 4times until the penny dropped & I gripped the saddle. My last drink was then Sat 30th Sept 06 & I've been sober since. I've had 3 miracles in as many months where I came close to using but now glad to say I'm looking forward to my 4th crucial month in sobriety. I'm sure it may become a little easier with some sober experience under my belt, a Sponsor & plenty of meetings for knowledge, support & stamina. I've met with my Sponsor several times & covered Step 1~4 in some foundation but felt I had to return to Step 1 & try some thoroughness with the Guidelines & Questions we use in NA. Although I've not necessarily had important issues with drugs, alcohol is a drug & this will be good for me as I need to break things down & get specific. It also means I can't gloss over things & gives me some structure to work with when I see my Sponsor. Of course, we can speak of other things as they arise, but, I'm finding this useful to under~pin what I need to do so that it's a continued effort. One drawback is that it means commitment & pressure which I'm not too good at but I've been sharing in meetings & emotions have started to seep out so I'm hoping relief can come witht these releases & sitting down to do some work & apply myself won't be as hard. Tuning into the fellowship here, I'm hoping, will help with this too as if I get stuck or blocked & need to explore something I can talk about it with you here, perhaps have feed~back & then move on. Thanks in advance for your care & attention; I hope to use it well. Thankyou, Danielle xx
-- Edited by Sobrietyspell at 18:11, 2007-01-22
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
Welcome Danielle! I'm Tim, alcoholic in California. One of my favorite football teams comes from next door; Everton(mainly because it's my surname). Aside from that, congratulations on your sobriety. All of us (except for Mike I think) have "slipped" many times but, as with you, have had the sanity to return. This is a great place to come before, between, or after meetings. Or just anytime you're feeling the need or desire. It's been a saving grace for me. I check in first thing every morning, last thing at night (which is now), and as many times in between as I can during the day. There are some great inspirational postings here all the time. I hope it may help you as much as it has me...Good fortune!...Tim
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"We posess the eyes through which the universe gazes with wonder upon its own majesty."
Welcome to MIP. It really is great to belong to this cyber-family. We are all here to support each other. You'll find there are so many helpful people with some good sobriety here.
When I first tried to get sober, it took me quite a few attempts before it finally really stuck with me. But, each day really does get better. If I can get sober through AA, then anyone can! Just keep going to meetings, talking with your sponsor and working the steps.
I do hope that you'll pop by here regularly and let us know how things are going for you.
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Thanks for the warm inception, I feel all real & interactive now :) I have work soon so not more time than to post a reply to say Hi & Thanks to you. I hope I can use this as back~up to do my homework. If I admit it I think I need the idea that I'm being superised sometimes to get things done ~ Tis the child in me & I'm guessing why a Higher (parental) Power can be useful! Procrastination no more. I want to do this. Thankyou for the support so far. I will sit down after work tonight & answer at least 3more questions. There she is, Danielle, taken in gentle hand in the Unity & re~affirming once more she doesn't have to do it on her own lol Thank God! x
-- Edited by Sobrietyspell at 08:02, 2007-01-23
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
Welcome Danielle! I really enjoyed your shares and hope you come back often. This is a good group of people, very diverse, and alot of ES and H here. Take care of yourself, and nope, you'll never have to do this alone! warmly, Wren
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"Never argue with an idiot... They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience..."
Hey! I got a new coat hmmm all warm & purple lol Anyway I got down to some business & wrote a few more sentences for my Stepwork last night so I'm continuing to scratch the surface tho then my partner Rob called (living in Stockholm, Sweden & also in recovery) so I was immediately distracted =S Another of my commitments & plates to spin. I'm glad I'm getting into my membership so soon because it seems to me this recovery is never going to be an overnight success jobby. I want to move on once I'm into my maintenance Steps to training in Counselling. Which will be strange as I will have already had a measure of coming to terms with my past through the Programme so I'm hoping these new disciplines will give me greater angles & insights for my future role in the field. I've such great hopes & aspirations & can't believe how far I'm having to climb from rock bottom. Not that mine has been as bad as some but my lack of confidence & self~esteem in itself has been crippling. When I come to learn my own parts & responsibility, surely this will have the empowering effect I've been looking for all this time. I'm still embarressed for seemingly having to try so hard for what comes easierly, naturally & deservedly to others. I have been a bitch to myself. Whatever anyone else said or did to me time ago; I did a hell of a lot worse to myself. Oh my God! Who am I to be such a bitch to myself? It's got to stop. I feel like a wretch for the past I've had & feel doubly so because it wasn't that bad. Therein lies the irony & why I haven't been able to forgive & love myself. I really don't know what I can do about that right now, seems very deep & at the core of me so I'll leave it there. If anyone understands what I've just said & can shed some light & insight, I'll return. Thanks for joining me Wren. Catch up with you all soon Dxx
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
A~Ha! Realised something today that cheered me up no end.. & I quote from the text message I sent my Sponsor ~ "I could really laugh at myself, you know, I've just realised my ruefulness of past mistakes is more out of false pride & arrogance. 'Oh no, I'm not allowed to make mistakes cuz I'm perfect' lol. It's not about the shame, I can get over that (though not the false shame that is cloaking other emotions). It's the arrogance & pride underneath that. It's not even self~pity. No, really hilarious & I can forgive that. God, we're a joke! What a relief to laugh about it!" So, in a nutshell ~ My regrets about not being able to change the past are because my mistakes meant I wasn't perfect & in order to be taken seriously by anyone, in the past I've felt I had to be. It's been all about face & also an explanation for my competitive edge. Like I always have to go or do a little more than a peer or colleague so that I can feel a sense of self~satisfaction. It's like I'm ok as long as I'm performing better because 'That's my choice' but really it's the pride of not looking worse than anyone. I've got a huge ego in that regard & it's got a lot to answer for. I'm looking forward to coming to know my ego for what it is & being able to side~step rather than fight it. Knowing one can, is capable of & will make mistakes is true humility. Dxx
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
