Alcoholics Anonymous

sweetness · sweetness

Hi all, I wanted to briefly introduce myself here. I am a 41 year old mother of two, married 13 years. I have been drinking heavily for at least 15 years. I received my first DUI this past June under highly upsetting circumstances. As a result of that emotional blow, I attempted suicide and ended u...

Namaste78 · Namaste78

Hi! Just sitting here enjoying a lazy lazy Saturday. I haven't even gotten up to leave the house. I haven't talked to anyone, only via text. I always start off my cherishing this down time, but many hours into it my mind starts going and going and the down time starts feeling depressing. My mind is such a d...

Stepchild · Stepchild

character.http://www.xa-speakers.org/pafiledb.php?action=file&id=1551

Capital K · Capital K

I'm new to MIP. I'm coming up on 6 months of sobriety on August 2nd. My sponsor is great but he travels for a living. Not easy to get ahold of. I'm attempting my 4th step and it's kicking amy ass. Got a lot of crap coming up that I buried a long time ago. Anyway I'm just putting myself out there.

Pythonpappy · Pythonpappy

There is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving.~ Henry Drummond

Pythonpappy · Pythonpappy

The perception of whats possible is on the other side of fear!~ Leslie Zann

Pythonpappy · Pythonpappy

There are as many ways to live and grow, as there are people. Our own ways are the only ways that should matter to us.--Evelyn MandelWanting to control other people, to make them live as we'd have them live, makes the attainment of serenity impossible. And serenity is the goal we are seeking in this reco...

Pythonpappy · Pythonpappy

Worry and Stress"Make plans but don't plan results." This is a simple phrase cautioning us against unnecessary worry and stress. If our plans involve other people, we would be wise to work joyfully toward realizing our dreams, but we should not expect or worry if others do not want the sam...

Pythonpappy · Pythonpappy

The person on top of the mountain did not fall there.~ Unknown

Stepchild · Stepchild

Good to have you aboard!!

Pythonpappy · Pythonpappy

Happiness is a choice, not a response.~ Anonymous

Pythonpappy · Pythonpappy

A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something. --Wilson MiznerA good salesperson is usually a good listener. Being a good listener also helps in being a good parent or spouse, neighbor or friend. When we are truly able to hear what others are trying to say, w...

RubyTues · RubyTues

This board played a big part of my initial foray into recovery. A huge part. I posted honestly about how I was doing, what was going on, and benefitted enormously from hearing people's experiences in response. I've kind of dropped the ball on the honesty thing of late, and I want this board to be a part o...

Angell · Angell

The home that we currently live in is a mobile home across the front yard from our landlady. The landlady had her daughter, her daughter's boyfriend and her grandson move out to the property three months ago. They moved into the landlady's RV. We offered to move into the RV and give the kids the trail...

Pythonpappy · Pythonpappy

Believe more deeply. Hold your face up to the Light, even though for the moment you do not see.-- Bill W.At times, we'll go through pain and hardship. At times, we'll have doubts. At times, we'll get angry and think we just don't care anymore. These things can spiritually blind us. But this is normal. Ho...

Pythonpappy · Pythonpappy

Once you wake up thought in a man, you can never put it to sleep again.~ Zora Neale Hurston

bikerbill · bikerbill

After more than thirty five years with the same company, actually at 35years and 1 day.... I was told there's no funding for my job. I've been job hunting within the company ever since and what have I achieved? Nothing. nada. F*** all. So I've been offered a package to leave. Not quite a golden good...

StPeteDean · StPeteDean

Trying to focus on Anniversary week, as I've let the last few slip by without celebrating at all. This Friday, in 1989, was the first day I stayed sober, on this continuous journey. Thanks to you all, especially my Family of choice here on MIP, from this grateful recovering drunk.

Mike B. · Mike B.

July 24 "Sobriety is a constant process of uncovering, discovering, and discarding."

Mike B. · Mike B.

Anyone know how to fix not getting e-mails when some posts after you? I use to get them and do click on the box in the lower left corner but now it's not working?

Pythonpappy · Pythonpappy

The best thing that can come with success is the knowledge that it is nothing to long for. --Liv UllmannSuccess may be defined in many ways. In our youth, we may have measured success in terms of having a million dollars, two cars, a swimming pool. But we are coming to believe that success means staying c...

Pythonpappy · Pythonpappy

There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved.~ George Sand

Pythonpappy · Pythonpappy

No person is your enemy, no person is your friend, and every person is your teacher. --Florence Scovel ShinnWe can open ourselves to opportunities today. They abound in our lives. No circumstance we find ourselves in is detrimental to our progress. No relationship with someone at work or at home is s...

Mike B. · Mike B.

July 23 "A large part of my recovery has been in learning how not to listen to myself."

Enigma · Enigma

Anyone have any advice on how to find a rental with bad credit without having to go to some slumlord. This divorce destroyed it since the wife noooo work. Short of righting a letter explaining my situation anyone face this situation?

Pythonpappy · Pythonpappy

I have come to know that 'GoingtoTry' has reached the 1 Year sober mark ... ... ... A BIG Congrats to him ... keep up the good job ... (When I first started trying to sober up ... it took me 13 years to finally get one year without a single drink ... a modern miracle for sure ...)

Bongo · Bongo

Hi. My name is Bongo, and I'm an alcoholic. I have been spared the horrors of this disease through the 12 steps and AA. At the end of August I will have 30 years of continuous sobriety. I got sober at a young age, take really good care of myself, and when people ask how long I've been sober they generally...

Mike B. · Mike B.

July 22 "I still don't know much about heaven, but I've learned some valuable lessons about life on earth."

Pythonpappy · Pythonpappy

learning · learning

A Facebook friend post a daily quote. I thought this one was worth sharing. Have to admit, however, wonder how often the author has pondered upon his own words! "As adults we try to relax from the never-ending quest for reason and order by drinking (a little whiskey) or smoking whatever wor...

Pythonpappy · Pythonpappy

July 21, 2014Quote of the Week"Look for a way in, not for a way out." When I was new, I was constantly looking for a way out. I listened for the parts of your stories that didn't match up with mine, and knew you needed the program but that I didn't. When my sponsor suggested I go to a meeting a day...

Pythonpappy · Pythonpappy

Welcome to MIP, ... I'm a 50's kid too ... let us hear more from you guys and/or about you ... Pappy

Mike B. · Mike B.

July 21 "By the fall of 1937 we could count what looked like forty recovered members. One of us had been sober three years, another two and a half, and a fair number had a year or more behind them. As all of us had been hopeless cases, this amount of time elapsed began to be significant. The realizati...

NewbieAAHopeful · NewbieAAHopeful

Hi friends I'm a 27 year old female new to AA, have been battling ADD and using medication since the age of 8. Have a hard time getting going, getting things accomplished, focusing etc without my medication. Have gone off my medication before.. results= not good. Find that the meds however throw me i...

grateful1 · grateful1

This video was sent to me from a close friend. I was really moved and thought others in recovery may like it. The music is wonderful and the pictures are beautiful as well..Blessings to all. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CSVqHcdhXQ

Pythonpappy · Pythonpappy

Welcome to MIP Paula ... ... ... good to see you post your story ... can't wait to hear more from you ... stick around, we get better 'together' here ... ... ... Love ya and God Bless, Pappy -- Edited by Pythonpappy on Friday 18th of July 2014 09:37:43 AM

Pythonpappy · Pythonpappy

Reflection for the Day The slogan "Live and Let Live" can be extremely helpful when we are having trouble tolerating other people's behavior. We know for certain that nobody's behavior - no matter how offensive, distasteful or vicious - is worth the price of a relapse. Our own recovery i...

Pythonpappy · Pythonpappy

DUCKS IN HEAVEN !!! Three women die together in an accident And go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, 'We only have one rule here in heaven: Don't step on the ducks!' So they enter heaven, and sure enough, There are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, And alt...

Pythonpappy · Pythonpappy

Laughter is an instant vacation.~ Milton Berle

Pythonpappy · Pythonpappy

Trying to pray is praying. --Anonymous"Oh, God, help me! If you get me out of this mess, I'll never screw up again." This was our favorite prayer before we entered the Program. We were always bargaining with God. We have learned new prayers and a new way to talk and listen to our Higher Power....

Pythonpappy · Pythonpappy

Love itself is not an act of will, but sometimes I need the force of my volition to break with my habitual responses and pass along the love already here.--Hugh PratherThe familiarity of isolation is both haunting and inviting. In our separateness we contemplate the joys of shared hours with others w...

Pythonpappy · Pythonpappy

Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude.~ Zig Ziglar

Enigma · Enigma

Well had one last criminal court date today and avoided jail once again thanks be to God. Now with the divorce also final I can get on with the next journey in my life and start looking for a apartment. Also was fearless today and had courage from my HP he had really been watching over me anyone who knows me h...

2granddaughters · 2granddaughters

1) Take a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle, top to bottom. 2) On the left side list all you were taught, or all you believe what God is.... If you have no idea, then write down the word "Nothing." 3) On the right side list what you want God to be for you, (best friend, loving. trus...

Namaste78 · Namaste78

Today marks 41 days sober. :) I've noticed the last couple of days I've been having thoughts about drinking. It's like I get a bit of happiness in my life..... and then its as if I have a self-destruct switch that I want to flip.But I'm talking about it and being honest. I went to a women's step study last ni...

Pythonpappy · Pythonpappy

When you were made a leader you werent given a crown, you were given the responsibility to bring out the best in others.~ Jack Welch

Pythonpappy · Pythonpappy

Whether you think you can, or you think you cant, youre right.~ Henry Ford

Pythonpappy · Pythonpappy

How will you dream if you don't sleep? How will you hear yourself? --Michael DorrisSleep is a wonderful gift in our lives. For eight hours, we rest our bodies. We let the thoughts, feelings, and events of our lives tumble through our sleeping minds as they sort themselves through our dreams. But dream...

Pythonpappy · Pythonpappy

Reflection for the DayWhen I came to The Program, I found people who knew exactly what I meant when I spoke finally of my fears. They had been where I had been; they understood. I've since learned that many of my fears have to do with projection. It's normal, for example, to have a tiny "back-burner...

Mike B. · Mike B.

July 18 "Isn't a donation of my time and services just as important as my donation of cash? What if my home group had money for coffee, rent, and literature, but no one to open the meeting room and make the coffee?"

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Recently out of rehab and new here (Preview) Hi all, I wanted to briefly introduce myself here. I am a 41 year old mother of two, married 13 years. I have been drinking heavily for at least 15 years. I received my first DUI this past June under highly upsetting circumstances. As a result of that emotional blow, I attempted suicide and ended u...	sweetness	13	844	Jul 28, 2014 by IamDarryl
	The line between relaxation and isolation. (Preview) Hi! Just sitting here enjoying a lazy lazy Saturday. I haven't even gotten up to leave the house. I haven't talked to anyone, only via text. I always start off my cherishing this down time, but many hours into it my mind starts going and going and the down time starts feeling depressing. My mind is such a d...	Namaste78	11	826	Jul 27, 2014 by Stepchild
	This is a really good talk. I highly recommend it. (Preview) character.http://www.xa-speakers.org/pafiledb.php?action=file&id=1551	Stepchild	3	524	Jul 27, 2014 by Stepchild
	Early sobriety (Preview) I'm new to MIP. I'm coming up on 6 months of sobriety on August 2nd. My sponsor is great but he travels for a living. Not easy to get ahold of. I'm attempting my 4th step and it's kicking amy ass. Got a lot of crap coming up that I buried a long time ago. Anyway I'm just putting myself out there.	Capital K	8	848	Jul 27, 2014 by Pythonpappy
	Sunrise Quote - 7/27 (Preview) There is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving.~ Henry Drummond	Pythonpappy	0	387	Jul 27, 2014 by Pythonpappy
	Sunrise Quote - 7/26 (Preview) The perception of whats possible is on the other side of fear!~ Leslie Zann	Pythonpappy	0	389	Jul 27, 2014 by Pythonpappy
	Today's Gift - 7/27 (Preview) There are as many ways to live and grow, as there are people. Our own ways are the only ways that should matter to us.--Evelyn MandelWanting to control other people, to make them live as we'd have them live, makes the attainment of serenity impossible. And serenity is the goal we are seeking in this reco...	Pythonpappy	0	482	Jul 27, 2014 by Pythonpappy
	Today's Gift - 7/26 (Preview) Worry and Stress"Make plans but don't plan results." This is a simple phrase cautioning us against unnecessary worry and stress. If our plans involve other people, we would be wise to work joyfully toward realizing our dreams, but we should not expect or worry if others do not want the sam...	Pythonpappy	0	359	Jul 27, 2014 by Pythonpappy
	Sunrise Quote - 7/23 (Preview) The person on top of the mountain did not fall there.~ Unknown	Pythonpappy	2	497	Jul 26, 2014 by Finn Felton
	Welcome to Capital K! (Preview) Good to have you aboard!!	Stepchild	1	434	Jul 26, 2014 by Mr_David
	Sunrise Quote - 7/25 (Preview) Happiness is a choice, not a response.~ Anonymous	Pythonpappy	1	377	Jul 26, 2014 by Mr_David
	Today's Gift - 7/25 (Preview) A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something. --Wilson MiznerA good salesperson is usually a good listener. Being a good listener also helps in being a good parent or spouse, neighbor or friend. When we are truly able to hear what others are trying to say, w...	Pythonpappy	4	519	Jul 26, 2014 by Mr_David
	A program of rigorous honesty (Preview) This board played a big part of my initial foray into recovery. A huge part. I posted honestly about how I was doing, what was going on, and benefitted enormously from hearing people's experiences in response. I've kind of dropped the ball on the honesty thing of late, and I want this board to be a part o...	RubyTues	5	746	Jul 26, 2014 by RubyTues
	Doing the next right thing anyway. (Preview) The home that we currently live in is a mobile home across the front yard from our landlady. The landlady had her daughter, her daughter's boyfriend and her grandson move out to the property three months ago. They moved into the landlady's RV. We offered to move into the RV and give the kids the trail...	Angell	2	673	Jul 24, 2014 by Pythonpappy
	Today's Gift - 7/24 (Preview) Believe more deeply. Hold your face up to the Light, even though for the moment you do not see.-- Bill W.At times, we'll go through pain and hardship. At times, we'll have doubts. At times, we'll get angry and think we just don't care anymore. These things can spiritually blind us. But this is normal. Ho...	Pythonpappy	1	390	Jul 24, 2014 by Stepchild
	Sunrise Quote - 7/24 (Preview) Once you wake up thought in a man, you can never put it to sleep again.~ Zora Neale Hurston	Pythonpappy	0	433	Jul 24, 2014 by Pythonpappy
	takes a deep breat and plunges into a new life direction (Preview) After more than thirty five years with the same company, actually at 35years and 1 day.... I was told there's no funding for my job. I've been job hunting within the company ever since and what have I achieved? Nothing. nada. F*** all. So I've been offered a package to leave. Not quite a golden good...	bikerbill	8	660	Jul 24, 2014 by StPeteDean
	This week anniversary (Preview) Trying to focus on Anniversary week, as I've let the last few slip by without celebrating at all. This Friday, in 1989, was the first day I stayed sober, on this continuous journey. Thanks to you all, especially my Family of choice here on MIP, from this grateful recovering drunk.	StPeteDean	16	8415	Jul 24, 2014 by Db1105
	Grapevine (Preview) July 24 "Sobriety is a constant process of uncovering, discovering, and discarding."	Mike B.	0	356	Jul 24, 2014 by Mike B.
	Reply help (Preview) Anyone know how to fix not getting e-mails when some posts after you? I use to get them and do click on the box in the lower left corner but now it's not working?	Mike B.	3	422	Jul 24, 2014 by Mike B.
	Today's Gift - 7/23 (Preview) The best thing that can come with success is the knowledge that it is nothing to long for. --Liv UllmannSuccess may be defined in many ways. In our youth, we may have measured success in terms of having a million dollars, two cars, a swimming pool. But we are coming to believe that success means staying c...	Pythonpappy	1	406	Jul 24, 2014 by Mr_David
	Sunrise Quote - 7/22 (Preview) There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved.~ George Sand	Pythonpappy	2	433	Jul 24, 2014 by Mr_David
	Today's Gift - 7/22 (Preview) No person is your enemy, no person is your friend, and every person is your teacher. --Florence Scovel ShinnWe can open ourselves to opportunities today. They abound in our lives. No circumstance we find ourselves in is detrimental to our progress. No relationship with someone at work or at home is s...	Pythonpappy	2	477	Jul 24, 2014 by Mr_David
	Grapevine (Preview) July 23 "A large part of my recovery has been in learning how not to listen to myself."	Mike B.	1	371	Jul 23, 2014 by Pythonpappy
	Off the beaten path (Preview) Anyone have any advice on how to find a rental with bad credit without having to go to some slumlord. This divorce destroyed it since the wife noooo work. Short of righting a letter explaining my situation anyone face this situation?	Enigma	6	621	Jul 23, 2014 by Pythonpappy
	Congrats to 'GoingtoTry' (Preview) I have come to know that 'GoingtoTry' has reached the 1 Year sober mark ... ... ... A BIG Congrats to him ... keep up the good job ... (When I first started trying to sober up ... it took me 13 years to finally get one year without a single drink ... a modern miracle for sure ...)	Pythonpappy	8	513	Jul 23, 2014 by Mike B.
	Hi :). New here, and testing the waters.... (Preview) Hi. My name is Bongo, and I'm an alcoholic. I have been spared the horrors of this disease through the 12 steps and AA. At the end of August I will have 30 years of continuous sobriety. I got sober at a young age, take really good care of myself, and when people ask how long I've been sober they generally...	Bongo	12	743	Jul 22, 2014 by Hello its me
	Grapevine (Preview) July 22 "I still don't know much about heaven, but I've learned some valuable lessons about life on earth."	Mike B.	2	409	Jul 22, 2014 by Stepchild
	Sent from a Non-Alcoholic Friend (Preview)	Pythonpappy	0	497	Jul 22, 2014 by Pythonpappy
	Food for Thought (Preview) A Facebook friend post a daily quote. I thought this one was worth sharing. Have to admit, however, wonder how often the author has pondered upon his own words! "As adults we try to relax from the never-ending quest for reason and order by drinking (a little whiskey) or smoking whatever wor...	learning	0	443	Jul 21, 2014 by learning
	Wisdom of the Rooms (Preview) July 21, 2014Quote of the Week"Look for a way in, not for a way out." When I was new, I was constantly looking for a way out. I listened for the parts of your stories that didn't match up with mine, and knew you needed the program but that I didn't. When my sponsor suggested I go to a meeting a day...	Pythonpappy	2	531	Jul 21, 2014 by Pythonpappy
	Welcome Barbara and Kat (Preview) Welcome to MIP, ... I'm a 50's kid too ... let us hear more from you guys and/or about you ... Pappy	Pythonpappy	3	490	Jul 21, 2014 by RubyTues
	Grapevine (Preview) July 21 "By the fall of 1937 we could count what looked like forty recovered members. One of us had been sober three years, another two and a half, and a fair number had a year or more behind them. As all of us had been hopeless cases, this amount of time elapsed began to be significant. The realizati...	Mike B.	2	421	Jul 21, 2014 by Stepchild
	Looking for other AAs battling ADD/ADHD Please help (Preview) Hi friends I'm a 27 year old female new to AA, have been battling ADD and using medication since the age of 8. Have a hard time getting going, getting things accomplished, focusing etc without my medication. Have gone off my medication before.. results= not good. Find that the meds however throw me i...	NewbieAAHopeful	11	782	Jul 21, 2014 by Mike B.
	Blessings Laura Story (Note: This is God Stuff) (Preview) This video was sent to me from a close friend. I was really moved and thought others in recovery may like it. The music is wonderful and the pictures are beautiful as well..Blessings to all. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CSVqHcdhXQ	grateful1	1	581	Jul 21, 2014 by Pythonpappy
	Welcome Paula (Preview) Welcome to MIP Paula ... ... ... good to see you post your story ... can't wait to hear more from you ... stick around, we get better 'together' here ... ... ... Love ya and God Bless, Pappy -- Edited by Pythonpappy on Friday 18th of July 2014 09:37:43 AM	Pythonpappy	5	498	Jul 21, 2014 by Mike B.
	Today's Gift - 7/21 (Preview) Reflection for the Day The slogan "Live and Let Live" can be extremely helpful when we are having trouble tolerating other people's behavior. We know for certain that nobody's behavior - no matter how offensive, distasteful or vicious - is worth the price of a relapse. Our own recovery i...	Pythonpappy	1	346	Jul 21, 2014 by Mike B.
	Here's some Old Humor (Preview) DUCKS IN HEAVEN !!! Three women die together in an accident And go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, 'We only have one rule here in heaven: Don't step on the ducks!' So they enter heaven, and sure enough, There are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, And alt...	Pythonpappy	0	404	Jul 20, 2014 by Pythonpappy
	Sunrise Quote - 7/20 (Preview) Laughter is an instant vacation.~ Milton Berle	Pythonpappy	0	366	Jul 20, 2014 by Pythonpappy
	Today's Gift - 7/20 (Preview) Trying to pray is praying. --Anonymous"Oh, God, help me! If you get me out of this mess, I'll never screw up again." This was our favorite prayer before we entered the Program. We were always bargaining with God. We have learned new prayers and a new way to talk and listen to our Higher Power....	Pythonpappy	0	413	Jul 20, 2014 by Pythonpappy
	Today's Gift - 7/19 (Preview) Love itself is not an act of will, but sometimes I need the force of my volition to break with my habitual responses and pass along the love already here.--Hugh PratherThe familiarity of isolation is both haunting and inviting. In our separateness we contemplate the joys of shared hours with others w...	Pythonpappy	1	409	Jul 19, 2014 by Stepchild
	Sunrise Quote - 7/19 (Preview) Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude.~ Zig Ziglar	Pythonpappy	1	473	Jul 19, 2014 by Mike D
	A free man (Preview) Well had one last criminal court date today and avoided jail once again thanks be to God. Now with the divorce also final I can get on with the next journey in my life and start looking for a apartment. Also was fearless today and had courage from my HP he had really been watching over me anyone who knows me h...	Enigma	5	533	Jul 18, 2014 by Pythonpappy
	How to discover your Higher Power (Preview) 1) Take a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle, top to bottom. 2) On the left side list all you were taught, or all you believe what God is.... If you have no idea, then write down the word "Nothing." 3) On the right side list what you want God to be for you, (best friend, loving. trus...	2granddaughters	6	999	Jul 18, 2014 by Pythonpappy
	Just wanted to check in... (Preview) Today marks 41 days sober. :) I've noticed the last couple of days I've been having thoughts about drinking. It's like I get a bit of happiness in my life..... and then its as if I have a self-destruct switch that I want to flip.But I'm talking about it and being honest. I went to a women's step study last ni...	Namaste78	8	728	Jul 18, 2014 by Pythonpappy
	Sunrise Quote - 7/18 (Preview) When you were made a leader you werent given a crown, you were given the responsibility to bring out the best in others.~ Jack Welch	Pythonpappy	0	389	Jul 18, 2014 by Pythonpappy
	Sunrise Quote - 7/17 (Preview) Whether you think you can, or you think you cant, youre right.~ Henry Ford	Pythonpappy	0	351	Jul 18, 2014 by Pythonpappy
	Today's Gift - 7/18 (Preview) How will you dream if you don't sleep? How will you hear yourself? --Michael DorrisSleep is a wonderful gift in our lives. For eight hours, we rest our bodies. We let the thoughts, feelings, and events of our lives tumble through our sleeping minds as they sort themselves through our dreams. But dream...	Pythonpappy	0	431	Jul 18, 2014 by Pythonpappy
	Today's Gift - 7/17 (Preview) Reflection for the DayWhen I came to The Program, I found people who knew exactly what I meant when I spoke finally of my fears. They had been where I had been; they understood. I've since learned that many of my fears have to do with projection. It's normal, for example, to have a tiny "back-burner...	Pythonpappy	0	440	Jul 18, 2014 by Pythonpappy
	Grapevine (Preview) July 18 "Isn't a donation of my time and services just as important as my donation of cash? What if my home group had money for coffee, rent, and literature, but no one to open the meeting room and make the coffee?"	Mike B.	1	378	Jul 18, 2014 by myownhell
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