I have been reading the posts on this site for a week. I no longer feel alone. I know I have a problem. Just trying to get the courage to do something about it. It's complicated as I also have mental illness issues. I won't bore you with the details. Just know that your wisdom and advice to others is slowly building up my courage. I will continue to read and absorb and hopefully one day will take the step to change. I'm not there yet. Soon. Love you.
We are never alone unless we choose to be ... I take it you have a problem with alcohol among other issues??? ... Alcoholism does not respect whether or not we are rich or poor, white or black, mentally stable or 1/2 crazy, etc., etc. ... ... ... It can strike anywhere with anyone, ... Our BB(Big Book) Alcoholics Anonymous sez:
RARELY HAVE we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.
So it looks like you may be in the right place ... We'll help guide you if we can ... just keep an 'open' mind and try to get to a meet'n as soon as you can ...
You can do it and there is absolutely noth'n to fear ... we all have a very common 'bond' ...
Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Welcome to the forum, MJ. Glad you are here and are contemplating change.
Know this: all of us who are in recovery need some help to get started and to progress in sobriety. When I started, I did not know how to stop drinking and stay stopped. Others showed me how they did it and I just tried to follow their example. It worked for me.
It can work for you too, MJ. Just give it a chance. The alternative is bleak.
Welcome, mommyjuice....
I can relate to what you said. I too have felt and still do feel all alone sometimes. It is a lie I have told myself many times....and a "justification" for me to drink again. If I can be less emotional, and instead be more rational in my thinking, I may be able to stay sober. Truth is, we are really never alone. God is with us. Even if every single person on this planet deserts us....God never will. I forget that sometimes.
I took the first step of admitting to my therapist that I think my anxiety is due to my constant withdrawal from drinking. I drink 5-6 beers at a time at least 4 times a week. It makes me feel so good at the time but the next day I am paying for it. It feels like I am on a hamster wheel. Drinking then anxiety then drinking then anxious etc... The real problem lies in that I know I should cut down but I don't want to. I like the relief from the anxiety. It seems hopeless. I have stopped completely drinking before but still have anxiety. Am I doomed??
No MJ, you're not doomed, BUT you DO have a choice whether you want to stay in the 'hamster wheel' or not ... you see??? alcohol, or rather the withdrawal from alcohol, feeds that anxiety bucket we all carry around ... the longer you drink, the longer and harder it is to get rid of the problem ... the way to solve your anxiety problem is to make some changes ... do not drink and go to AA ... once you've worked the 12 steps, you'll come to realize you got rid of the source of your problems and therefore you will realize that you now don't even think about drink'n ... the drink'n problem will be removed ... only if you have the desire for it to be and work the steps with 'total honesty' ...
Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Real 'recovery from alcoholism'. like what happens when we work a program of recovery in AA, is not at all the same as that awful feeling of anxiety we get when we 'just abstain from drinking' for brief periods of time between our alcohol binges. We're probably all very familiar with that horrible feeling of just trying to 'white knuckle it' as you described very well in your comments. We experienced those feelings ourselves before we got to AA. I encourage you to get to some AA meetings right away, and get started on your recovery from alcoholism, rather than just trying to struggle on with mere abstinence between the drinking days. You will be amazed at how good recovery from alcoholism can feel.
I drink 5-6 beers at a time at least 4 times a week. It makes me feel so good at the time but the next day I am paying for it..... Am I doomed??
Drinking that much might correspond to alcoholic level of drinking over a long period. Hard for any of us here to say. You might use AA's questionnaire, titled "Is AA For You?" That should give you a better idea. You can find it at:
I am still reading all of the posts. I am still struggling and don't know where to turn. I am not at the point where I can let my family know how bad things are. Please pray for me.
Sorry to hear that you are struggling, but actually you have received some replies that tell you exactly where you can turn. Get to some AA meetings, and don't wait.
If you want any help finding meetings near you, or if you have any questions about AA or what to expect at a meeting, just ask. We're here to help.
And you can go to AA without telling your family anything for now if you prefer, but chances are they already know a lot more about your drinking than you think they do.
But we can't go to AA for you, you need to take that first step and do it for yourself.
I just wanted to echo what Dave said ... Yes, chances are, your family knows a lot more about your drink'n than you realize ... honestly, I think you should go ahead and own up to your family that you realize you have problems, and then it won't be such a stress getting to an AA meeting ... least they'll know you're trying to get help ... the right way ...
And Yes, I'll have you in my prayers as well ...
Oh, and what Pickle said is soooo very true ... "You are not doomed, MJ. There is hope in recovery. Always. Everyone around here is living proof of that."
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
What is it about a glass of wine that makes everything seem better? I might have one a couple times a week while making dinner and then stop. Then the weekend comes around and I want more. I don't understand why my drinking escalates. I don't want to experience jail or DUI. Is this the progression of alcoholism? I can't wrap my head around the fact that it's a problem. Just posting here tells me that it is. Thoughts?
All I can do is relay my experience with alcohol ... Early on, I found that it made me feel 'on top of the world' ... I'd drink several times a week but didn't over do it too much ... I had a good job and hangovers were bad for getting work done ... after years of drinking regularly, I come to notice I was drink'n everyday And larger quantities ... tried to cut down, couldn't ... then it became a financial liability ... @ a case of beer a day, getting the money for it was becoming a problem ... then I just got tired of handling all that beer, so I started get'n the cheap hard stuff ... large bottles of Vodka and Gin, etc. ... then I hit my lowest point , my bottom ... I knew I had to quit or I was go'n to die, soon ... plus my family life wasn't for sh!t ...
I remember go'n to AA after my first rehab and think'n 'I ain't as bad as these folks' ... I didn't have a DUI even ... AA'ers, said not 'YET' ... be'n a knucklehead, I went back out drink'n again, and yes, I did get a DUI ... then I proceeded to hit my low ... only When I became 'willing' to work the steps, I got better and life has been remarkable ever since ... that was a few years ago, thank God ... I most certainly would be dead now had I continued to drink ...
You are wise to question whether or not you have a problem now ... we always say 'If you 'think' you have a problem, you probably do' ...
Love ya and God Bless, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
