Well, tomorrow will be 30 days of sobriety for me if I don't drink. Been going to discussion topic meetings only, until last week when I found a Big Book study group. Now I will go to both. I started reading the 12 and 12. I'll read the book cover to cover and then start working the steps. Well, that's the plan anyways.
One thing that has helped me is the phrase on the 12 hr chip that reads 'To Thine Own Self Be True'. I never really thought about these words before, and I'm not really sure what meaning it has associated with AA. The way I interpret it, is that I have to first be honest with myself before I can make this program work for me. If I'm not true to myself, how can I be true to someone else, or the AA program? I have finally accepted the fact that I have to be honest with myself, and admit that I have a problem, and deal with it.
I'm curious what others here think about the phrase, and how you interpret it? Am I close, or out in left field somewhere? Either way, it's helped me get 29 days of sobriety.
I trust you can make it the rest of today without a drink, so CONGRATS on 30 days ... that was a 'biggie' for me ...
'To Thine Own Self Be True' wasn't on my early chips, but I noticed it on my 1st year chip and on subsequent 'yearly' chips .... see'n as how I had convinced myself many years earlier that I didn't have a drink'n problem, and allowed alcohol to take control over my life and who I was ... Alcohol became the most important thing in my life back then ...and I'd lie, cheat, and even steal to get it ... after work'n the steps and learn'n to live a sober life, I came to realize just how dishonest I had been to myself and everyone else around me over the years ... and that dishonesty was eating through my very soul ... so, this particular saying, or motto, means a lot to me ... It says it all ... cause who can you trust if not yourself??? ...
AND this goes along with the BB, to me, when in chapter 5 it said: Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. ... ... ... I sat and pondered over this one sentence for an awfully long time ... it was if it was written just to me ...
Pappy
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Way to go on 30 days, Roman. Try not to fall into the trap like me and so many others have. The thought of "well, if I made it 30 days...maybe I'm not an alcoholic." or, "ok, I dried out for a while...I feel better. I could have a couple of drinks". I did that so many fricken times, and always wound up drinking harder than ever.
to thine own self be true. I use it to remind myself that I AM an alcoholic, and the truth is, I can't drink. It doesn't work for me anymore. So, instead of fooling myself, and basically lying to myself, and trying to believe that I could "control" it this time, I just be true to myself.
