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Post Info TOPIC: WE are the problem!
VJ


Newbie

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WE are the problem!
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It's amazing to realize that life is never going to be a bed of roses just because we got sober!

My sobriety date is December 10, 1983, and I thought by this time I would know everything.   But it's living,

not drinking, that is the problem now.  Just yesterday I opened my mouth to a relative about her partner's

drinking and she is now furious with me.  I've made amends but still feel awful, because her denial is typical

though I hoped she would at least consider what I said.  However, I still feel that NOT speaking up is worse,

watching someone else spiral downhill and not trying to help somehow.  Sigh!  Guess it's damned if you do,

and damned if you don't.  Thanks for letting me share.



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VJ


MIP Old Timer

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The same thing happened to me before I realized and admitted I too have a problem. The person is dead now. I do not live with the guilt which I would have had I said nothing.

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Veteran Member

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Yes VJ . It IS Far easier to "carry The message". I believe the 'crunch word' is TRY.

Welcome to MiP VJ . Please stay around & share Your E S & H.



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John R


MIP Old Timer

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Welcome to MIP VJ, ... glad you're here ...

Not knowing your 'approach' in offering help, or at least trying to, it's hard to say if you did or said anything offensive or not ... especially being it was a relative ... and you must know that we cannot judge whether or not someone else is an alcoholic or not, we can only judge that for ourselves ...

If your approach was in the form of making yourself available if 'so 'n so' ever mentions that they may have a problem with alcohol, then I see no reason for an amends ... but if you made a statement saying that you think they DO have a problem and you're there to help, then a better approach very likely could have avoided upsetting your relative ...

Just say'n ... some people are very touch about their alcohol use, or their significant other's use of it ...



Love ya and God Bless,
Pappy



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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'



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BYOB if your drinking and MYOB if your not, if they are truly alcoholic they know it and you can not help them unless they want it. Do not apologize or feel guilty there is nothing we can do it has to come from them. You already know this.



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