I am walking home from my 10AM meeting 5 blocks from my apartment.
While walking home out of the corner of my eye I see a large young woman with a big smile walking toward me,I don't engage because she is clearly high and she's not one of my neighbors. She says "Haaay!" and then she says loudly in a mocking sing-songy voice "You goin' to your program??" Then laughs like a high person does. I think she is a young woman who came to 2 10am meetings out of re-hab (then we didn't see her again) and was going to loose her kids.
I was rattled and just got down the sidewalk as fast as I could.
I'd like thoughts, opinions, etc.
As rattled as I am, now that I'm thinking that it is the young woman from the 10AM- I'm concerned. 11:30AM and she's running the streets high...not good.
You're never gonna be able to help somebody unless they want it. I've tried. It doesn't work. When she's ready, she'll seek help. I know, for myself, when I was drinking, nobody could have talked me out of stopping. I had to wait until Id had enough.
The best thing that could come out of it, is that you see her, and think "I'm glad I'm not drinking...I don't want to be like that anymore", and, she sees you, and thinks "I want to be happy again, just like her".
If you do ever talk to her, in so many words, very subtly let her know how much better your life is without alcohol. Or drugs. Or whatever she's on. I'm sure people here on this board, with more experience than me, can weigh in and give you some advice on how to think about it.
I was in the laundromat doing my clothes ....(which is what people do in laundromats...duh...) and a woman comes in and smiles at me. She asked me how I had been doing and I thought it sounded like she knew me. I told her fine (which was a lie because I hate doing clothes, especially since I put off washing them and it takes so long) and asked how she was. She said "One day at a time." I remarked that she was in the program "too". Well, we were doing our thing --popping in quarters and throwing in the clothes and she started talking to herself. I do that too sometimes so didn't think too much about it. Then she started answering herself. And she did a few other things that gave me the impression that something was wrong. I am not sure if she was drunk or not. I wasn't close enough to her to smell alcohol. I do know that some of us do suffer mental disorders and tried to think hopefully she is still sober.
I do feel a bit of guilt for not talking to her more and if she did go out, that maybe there was something I could have said or done to help her, if so. So I know where you are coming from, photo. I think it is like others that go out....although I have a lot of concern for them, I end up thinking the same thing, and that is...."I'm glad it's not me."
I was rattled and just got down the sidewalk as fast as I could.
I'd like thoughts, opinions, etc.
As rattled as I am, now that I'm thinking that it is the young woman from the 10AM- I'm concerned. 11:30AM and she's running the streets high...not good.
Sounds like she was intoxicated. It was reasonable to just exit the scene. It was good to just let her be.
If she comes back to the meeting and asks for help, then help her if you can.
I will and I want to tell some of the group elders about this, they are so wise, loving and SOBER (25+ years) and next week I'm missing 3 of the 10AMs because I'm working on location...
I also felt shaken when she yelled "You goin' to your program???" and laughed. I'll get over it tomorrow, but it still bothered me.
-- Edited by PhotothingNYC on Friday 18th of September 2015 05:48:51 PM
Sounds like you know where her priorities are ... she'll either die(very sad) or decide to get help ... but you can never force a person to recover ... it has to be their own decision ...
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Your comment about her laughing after she asked you reminded me of me when I relapsed one of the times in the past. I remember sitting on my porch drinking my drinks and laughing with a friend about the AA "suckers" who were still in the program and couldn't drink. As if I was the more fortunate one. I thought I was the one having all the fun while they were attending meetings and not drinking.
Yeah, I was sure "enlightened" during that time! Ha!
We thought about bringing in the death penalty for that sort of thing but then we realised that the person already has a death sentence with this disease, unless of course, we could help them to the solution.
chances are she was reacting to guilt of failing her efforts and abused you to make herself feel better. I wouldn't take it personally or worry about it. She may not even remember doing it. Odds of it happening again are slim.
I was telling a AA friend who lives in the neighborhood about this and she made a good point, in our neighborhood many people who are usually up to no good just hang out on the street and the places that have AA meetings hang the blue and white AA sign on the doors.
She may not be the young lady I am thinking of- she may be someone who has seen me go into or come out of a door with the AA sign on it.
