I've been through a year of AA court ordered, so my heart wasn't in it. I went into rehab twice, court ordered, after suicide attempts. I hated the AA thing, but I think it was more because it wasn't my choice. I'm still a rebel at heart. (at 52).
I'm an alcoholic, have been since I started drinking at 12, was a blackout drunk right away. Had 40 years of the usual crap. But I'm tired. I'm really tired of being depressed all the time. I did mental health counseling and got to a point we were discussing the weather.Our conversations were mostly, I know what I need to do, but I just don't wanna (whine!)
I don't believe in God. During my one year stint in AA, quit the night before my 1 year chip because I knew I didn't earn it. I know, I know, everyone has a HP, mine was the collective spirit of mankind, but again, it all felt forced.
Do I want to stop drinking? Hell to the yes.
But to be honest, it's not stopping the drinking that I'm afraid of. It's the feelings that I've been suppressing these past 40 years. It's been my crutch for so many years....then, there is another wrinkle. I had a knee injury for which I take meds for and I'm concerned that I'll just switch one addiction to that.
Hi Still Trying,
I am in my 50's too. Up until a little over a couple of years ago, I wasn't ready myself. Had been in and out of therapy, jail, hospitals. Had people telling me what I had to do which pushed my head further down into the bottle.
It really is as simple as this....
No one absolutely no one can force you to stay away from the alcohol. It really is up to you. You know your life is a mess and has been. You can look at the past as learning experiences and help yourself or you can continue drinking.
I know that I finally got some sense in this hard head of mine. Got back into AA and actually LISTENED this time instead of tried to do it my way. Worked the Steps with a sponsor and attended meetings everyday for about 7 months. Also, I did alot of service work. Made coffee, set up chairs, cleaned up, brought treats, and participated in helping with meetings once they got started. I don't do quite as much of that now that I have some sober time, however, when I have a crappy day/week, I up my meetings as well as my service work.
You see, I love being sober. I too thought many times about killing myself. I don't have those thoughts at all now. I want to live. I don't want to drink. Therefore, I will be able to live.
To answer your question, sure you CAN do it. But of course you will need to do things differently than you did before. Sitting in AA meetings for a year is not 'working a program of recovery'. The meetings are the FELLOWSHIP of AA, the 12 steps are the PROGRAM OF RECOVERY. We need to work the 12 steps to recover from alcoholism. And that does not mean just reading them and thinking about them, they require action.
I encourage you to find someone in AA whom you can related to as a sponsor (for example, a religious fundamentalist may not be the best choice for someone with your beliefs) and this should be someone who has been sober for at least a couple of years and who has worked all 12 steps thoroughly and who has therefore achieved a measure of sanity and serenity and recovery in their life that you want to have in your own life. Then ask this person to show you how they did it and help you to achieve the same.
If you want to not only stay sober, but change the way you think and feel about alcohol, about those feelings you have been suppressing for all those years, about life in general, and really recover from alcoholism and get to the point where you actually feel good about yourself and the world around you and no longer feel the compulsion to drink or use, the solution is in the 12 steps of AA. And just to answer your question again for emphasis, yes, you can do this.
-- Edited by davep12and12 on Tuesday 14th of July 2015 12:49:51 PM
I haven't been to a meeting yet. I just got to a point last night as I was staring to my drink just thinking that this has to stop. Nothing predicated this thought, other than the 40+ years I have been drinking. I've had all the awful things happen, failed marriages, lost relationships, job issues, thankfully I've never been in an accident since I'm an at home drinker. But like the country song said, one is too many and 13's not enough.
There are some local meetings but I don't know what they mean. Tuesday night Topic Group?
I didn't take it to heart or worked it before, because I HAD to be there. I WANT to stop, I have stopped for months at a time and then some stupid thing gets me and I run back to my crutch.
Does that help? no - but as we all know, It's what we know. I have to relearn a lot and frankly I'm scared shitless. I know all the positive things that will come, but why does this continue to stop me from stopping?
Not sure I understand - your first post says you went to AA for a year, court ordered, but your recent post says you have not been to a meeting yet and don't understand things like 'Tuesday night topic group'.... ?
I want to be sure I understand your situation correctly. Can you clarify?
Topic group is where someone comes up with a topic and puts it out on the "floor" to the group. It can be about anything related to alcohol...."Gratitude"; "One Day at A Time"; "Fellowship of AA", etc. You don't have to share if you don't want to.
What you wrote could have been written by me. I related to so much of what you are going through and feeling right now. That is a big reason why I kept going back to the meetings--because so many of the people sounded like me and I felt like I belonged there. My being ashamed and feeling guilty for having to go to the AA meetings dissipated after a while. The AA meetings are comforting to me. Many of the people I see there are like family members to me. (Some are closer to me than some of my own family members.)
I kept finding excuse after excuse not to go. Then when I first tried it I found excuse after excuse not to stay ("These people are worse than me, have more problems, not like me--I'm not like them" as well as if someone said something to me I didn't understand or thought it was ridicule or even looked at me (what I thought was...) funny, I would quit.
This last time I got in AA I told myself that I had to stay in AA NO MATTER WHAT (yes, I was screaming at myself!) and it didn't matter if I thought everybody was talking about me and staring at me as if I was a Cyclops! I had to stick this out! My life depended (and still depends) on it!
Once I made my sobriety my #1 Priority, I knew and know that I am going to be okay. You can do that too. You just have to want it more than anything else.
I attended AA back in 2003 for a year. I went to a meeting on Tuesday nights, but don't remember what the title of the group was? I see that looking over meetings offered in my area they seem to have different titles.
Below are a couple -
About 10 Group
Each day a new beginning
TGIF group
etc.
So basically, this will be my first AA meeting in 12 years.
Rehab was through the hospital, but no AA meetings were required. We met three nights a week and on Saturday morning for 16week. That was in 2005? I think.
Ah, got it. Different meetings have different 'names', and a lot of times that's really all it is - just a name, and it's really no different from any other generic AA meeting. Some meetings have a slightly different 'format' for how they run the meeting, and the name can sometimes reflect this. Like "Sunday morning Speaker meeting" (which may involve one or two AA members, chosen each week, to be a speaker and talk at length about their own story of their drinking and their recovery in AA) or "open discussion meeting" (there is no main speaker talking to the group at length, everyone takes turns talking for just a couple of minutes to say what they want to say or ask what the want to ask) or "downtown Step Study" (which may be a meeting where the group reads from the AA book called '12 steps and 12 traditions' and discusses their experiences and/or questions about how to work the 12 steps. These step study meetings often focus on one particular step per meeting).
But don't even waste any effort trying to figure out all of that stuff right now, just get to ANY meeting, and plan to go to a LOT of them, not just the old 'once a week' thing. Look through your local meeting guide right now and find several that you can go to each week, starting TODAY, and try them all. When you get there, ask other people what other meetings they can recommend, and then when you go to that meeting you'll already be seeing some familiar faces.
Get to the meeting early, like 15 or 20 minutes early. It's much better than walking in late after everyone else is already there. Sometimes it can help us feel more comfortable if we can stay busy, so ask the folks there if you can help with anything to set up the meeting (setting up chairs, etc.). Tell them you are new, and that you are looking for help to stay sober. They will help you. That's what others did for them, and that's what we do.
Stick around for a few minutes after the meeting - important - resist the urge to bolt out of the room. Most meetings will have copies of lots of AA literature, some free pamphlets and some books that they either give away or sell at their own cost for a few bucks. Get them after the meeting. Read them. If you likes what someone said during the meeting, tell them hi after the meeting ends and tell them you liked what they said. Tell them you are new to AA and they will take it from there. At some meetings, people tend to get together in small groups afterward for coffee or a meal at some local spot (sometimes called the 'meeting after the meeting'). If someone mentions this to you, say YES and go. Get involved and get to know people. Then do it again tomorrow. Then again. You can do this.
That definitely helps. I know back in 'the day' when I would go, I found that listening to other people's drinking stories only made me want to drink. I've repeated my story so many times that it comes by rote. I know I'm probably sounding quite resistant, I'm not. I'm not stigmatized by being a drunk, nor worried about what people will think. There is so much behind getting sober besides not drinking. It's a psychological overhaul as well.
Yeah I remember that same vague feeling of fear when I was first in the verge of really getting into AA, because I didn't know what sobriety would be like - 'what will this AA "process" be like? What if it's some terrible emotionally painful process?? Aaarg!' But speaking from my own experience as someone who has now been sober for quite a few years, all of that proved to be worrying about nothing. Now that I've gained experience with the 12 steps of AA, I'm still me, just without all of that fear and insecurity and burden of active alcoholism, and living life with so much more ease and comfort than I ever had before I got to AA. The steps are not some kind of punishment or weird ritual, they are just some tools that help us become 'comfortable in our own skin' and learn about our alcoholism, and take steps to correct some junk from our drinking days so that stuff isn't bothering us any more, and gain the ability to live life without feeling like crap about ourselves and without needing a drink or a drug to deal with life. Go for it. Find a meeting, check it out, and come on back here and tell us how it went. If you have any questions about it, feel free to ask.
I wish I had come to this board years ago and with advice like what has been given to you above, Still Trying, maybe I would have tried more or harder. Who knows? You can do it!!! I did so anybody can!
Like Hopefulone and others have said, you gotta want it. You used the terms "scared" and "scared shitless". You said you don't believe in God. Ok, no big deal, not everybody does. So, if there is no God, then, there is no afterlife. So, what I would be scared of, more than anything, is thinking that someday, I'm gonna be on my deathbed, and wondering what my life would have been like if I didn't let alcohol ruin it. You should be more scared than someone who believes in afterlife. People who believe in an afterlife can at least think to themselves " well, I wasted this life, but, everything will be ok in the next one". You don't have that option.
You said you were sick and tired of being sick and tired. That's one of the reasons me, and a whole lot of other people on this board, decided it was time. If you quit drinking, you won't have that crutch anymore. But if you don't quit, yer gonna keep feeling like shit. And you know what? It gets worse as you get older. You think you feel bad now? keep drinking, and in a few more years, you're really gonna feel like shit. If you go to meetings, and follow the program, in time, you won't need that crutch. Your mind will clear up, and you will feel 1000% better. It takes time, it doesn't happen overnight, but, I garrantee after a few months, you'll feel better, and it gets better every day.
You seem like a pretty smart person. You're not an imbecile. (Like me, I probably even spelled that word wrong). Think about something: Have you ever heard of one person saying "damn, I wish I never quit drinking. I really regret that choice. How stupid of me. My life has really gone to the toilet since I quit drinking"? Never. You never will. When you get that poison out of your system, and your mind starts clearing up, and you start feeling better, and you realize that instead of being a crutch, alcohol was actually the cause of your anxiety, depression, and overall feeling like shit, you won't be saying "damn, I wish I never quit drinking". You'll be saying "damn, why didn't I stop drinking that no-good poison years ago".
Or, you can sit on yer deathbed and wonder "what if".
(You're smart, Still Trying. Now get yer ass to a meeting. There are some good ass people there).
-- Edited by Baba Louie on Wednesday 15th of July 2015 01:54:45 AM
I had an interesting conversation last night with my man about all of this. He supports my trying to resolve my life issues, but said to me:
I don't think you're an alcoholic, you just like to drink.
Uh, no, I can't control it, I self medicate and it's become unmanageable. I don't even like it anymore. It took me years to convince myself that i am, in fact, an alcoholic. It doesn't matter what HE thinks. I KNOW....
I will get to a meeting. There is a women's meeting tonight. It'll be my first....
That makes my day hearing your plans to go to a meeting tonight!
And good for you listening to your heart and mind and deciding for yourself if you are an alcoholic. Sounds like with an attitude like that and what else you said, you will go far...and best thing about that is you will go far upwards not downwards :)
You have just made one of the most important--if not THE most important decisions you will ever make in your life.
Very glad to hear this. Please post here again after the meeting and tell us how it went! If you have any questions after the meeting, feel free to ask.
And - I encourage you to make a plan today for the NEXT meeting you will attend after this one, and more meetings for the rest of the week. Set up your schedule to start attending several meetings during the week. This can make a huge difference. It's very important to immediately develop the habit of going to LOTS of meetings when you are new. Do not run the risk of going to one meeting and then letting several days go by, and then that stretches into a couple of weeks, and by then your head has talked you out of going back. Make a plan and put it into action.
Still Trying, you said "I don't even like it anymore". That's how I felt, right before I made the decision to quit. I would start my day off with coffee, then, to calm down the anxiety from drinking the day before, I would start drinking alcohol. And, yeah, it calmed my anxiety down, but I found it was making me feel like shit. The first couple were ok, but then, after the 4th or 5th one, I would just feel like "blah". Tired. Lazy. Didn't want to do anything. I would just look at a simple task, like, picking something up and putting it away, and think "ah, I ll do it tomorrow". If somebody called my phone, I said "ah, I'll call em back later". And on and on and on. And it was making me feel lousy.
I just didn't want to feel like that anymore. I knew that the alcohol was what was creating my anxiety and withdrawing from being social. I knew it was a catch-22, the alcohol made me feel miserable, mentally and physically, but, it was also the only thing that made me feel better. Better from the depression, anxiety, and feeling physically like shit. But the alcohol is what was causing these things. It's a viscous cycle. Everytime you drink, the next day, you're body and mind are going through withdrawls. That's why you feel like shit. And what to do to feel better? Drink again. But you'll never get out of that cycle if you don't stop.
im 48 or 49 years old. (Idk, I was born in 67. I don't feel like doing math. I think I'm 48). I've drank hard all of my life. I had all of the thoughts like "wow, life without alcohol won't be fun anymore", and "how will I enjoy social occasions without it?" But life WITH alcohol wasn't fun anymore. And social occasions weren't fun anymore. I get the feeling from reading your posts that you feel the same way.
Believe me when I tell you, life without alchol is WAY better. I never thought it would be true, but honesty, I'm telling you, it really is.
There are absolutely NO advantages to drinking alcohol. NONE. I can't think of 1 situation where drinking alcohol made my life better. Not 1. On the contrary, it makes everything WORSE.
When you see alcohol for what it really is, (poison), you won't have any desire to keep that cycle going.
when you go to your meetings, you need to go with a feeling of elation, not despair. Elation that you escaped that trap, that youre not giving anything up, except a whole lot of problems and despair and feeling like shit. When people share their drinking stories at meetings, it should just reinforce your decision. And these fellows and gals at these meetings are just like us, they've had enough, and instead of hanging out with people that drink, watching them slowly fall into the same hole that you fell in, we hang with people that are just like us. Cause nobody understands an alcoholic better than an alcoholic.
These fellow AA people are cool as ice. They know something that ordinary folks dont. Alcohol sucks.
Baba Louie has been woken up and from reading his post I get it...He knows and knows that he knows what its all about. I get my thoughts and feelings back when I found out while I had the evidence in hand or in skin. When I got into recovery my skin was a urine yellow color and I thought I was jaundiced at the age of 37. I had that awareness for years and didn't get a more rational opinion until I met a nurse during a meeting that told me "Jerry...that ain't jaundice, jaundice disappears in the first several months of birth...that's something else"....by Co-incidence she was the head nurse on the adult section of a rehab I worked at who I took my assessment to. I didn't put my name on it to keep my anonymity (I was already 9 years alcohol free...still with the compulsion to drink) After she scored my assessment she came out and told me "Who ever this assessment belongs to needs to be in in-patient treatment immediately or the next time they drink...they die". I've drank until toxic shock and have survived due to a power greater than myself which sat with me until the comatose was over. Thank you God!!. I was a therapist on this rehab and am college educated on alcohol and substance abuse and addiction. All Higher Power...really wanted me alcohol free. One of the things I found out under the tutelage of the masters is that alcohol IS REALLY a POISON...and one reason why being under the influence is considered IN-TOXICATED...or POISONED. On one occasion my alcoholic sponsor...yes I had one of those who was really smart about the chemical told me not to drink Maui Okolehau a locally brewed hard drinking because it could make me blind on the first go around...No I don't listen and while I've still got my eyesight I never went for a second round on the alcohol...it was like tasting nuclear waste.
Anyway take Baba's post to heart and keep coming back to the sober family. ((((hugs))))
Sorry ST, ... I'm late seeing your post ... but there are some GREAT posts in reply to yours ...
Sure, you can do this, IF the pain of your existence outweighs the pleasure, then you have noth'n more than to live One Day at a Time ... without a drink ... it only gets easier as time passes ... like 'hopefulone' above, the time comes when you take greater pleasure in helping others with service work than you ever did when you drank to pass out ... being drunk and passed out is NOT living (or you might see it as a living Hell) ... that's a 'trap' we can help you out of ... all you need is the 'desire' to change ... it can actually be a lot of fun if our attitude is right ....
Love ya and God Bless, Pappy
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Some of us (me too) might seem a little too diligent, or over enthusiastic about trying to help others. But, I think of it like this: (yes, I'm being selfish): if I don't help other people to get/stay sober, I might be the only person left on this planet who doesn't drink. And that would suck, having to deal with all those drunks. I don't know about anybody else, and I don't want to sound "above" anybody, cause I know I'm not, but, drunks are really annoying to me anymore. And I think "wow, was I like that that? Was I that annoying?" Yes, I was. Probably MORE annoying than most. So, climb on board, ST, we need you. I want you on my team. Yer probably a good player. It's fun, like Pappy sez.
The minute u feel u have made a difference in someone else's life that's when the real growth begins.
Prediction.....you will grow to love being the "Good Samaritan" and it feels much better than a high on alcohol.
If u can't believe in a power greater than you just do the work!
Morning Kids-
I did not go last night to the meeting, but I also did not drink, nor did I have any craving to do so. Instead, I read the boards, grabbed a book that has proved helpful to me in the past and occupied myself with weeding the garden.
With me, and I know you'll all say I'm wrong, and I totally respect that, it's not stopping drinking or keeping from drinking, but rather facing the reasons why I drink. I wrote in my journal last night and used a lot of the info from the boards to address just that.
I guess I'm just not ready? IDK, but if it's okay, I'd still like to hang out here for moral support?
ST.... I did the same thing many many times. Thank God I didn't put it off until it was too late. If you are an alcoholic like me you are on a slippery slope if you put off going too long. There are some who can get and stay sober without Alcoholics Anonymous. I tried to be one of them....many times. I couldn't stay sober for any long length of time. If you can, my hats off to you. I just couldn't and my life is too important to continue to play Russian Roulette with booze.
Good luck to you. The doors will still be open if you change your mind. I just want to remind you of some words someone shared not too long ago....
Still trying's Post in black and red: (blue is my responses)
"I've been through a year of AA court ordered, so my heart wasn't in it. I went into rehab twice, court ordered, after suicide attempts. I hated the AA thing, but I think it was more because it wasn't my choice. I'm still a rebel at heart. (at 52)."
(Do you think you can afford to take a chance of this happening again--I don't mean the rehab--I mean the attempt at suicide. You do need some serious therapy--something ain't right and you are going to end up killing yourself. And btw...I am close to your age--you ain't getting any younger. You going to wait until you're 60? If you make it that long. I am sure the way I was headed I would be dead before then. The majority of people are not exactly "in love" with AA. Especially if they were forced to go by the Court. It is your choice to have sour grapes about the experience and decided to drink those sour grapes again. Or, you can realize that it is a "meant to be" for you to be in there and the Court (as evil as they may seem to you at the time) was not only saving your ass, they were saving your life.
"I'm an alcoholic, have been since I started drinking at 12, was a blackout drunk right away.Had 40 years of the usual crap. But I'm tired. I'm really tired of being depressed all the time. I did mental health counseling and got to a point we were discussing the weather.Our conversations were mostly, I know what I need to do, but I just don't wanna (whine!)"
How has that worked for you? If it is really "crap" and you are serious about being "tired of being depressed all the time" then it would seem like you are also serious about doing everything in your power to help yourself not be depressed. Keep drinking and that is a sure fire way to stay depressed (alcohol is after all, a depressant. If your counseling wasn't working, find another one. Preferably someone skilled in addictions.
"I don't believe in God. During my one year stint in AA, quit the night before my 1 year chip because I knew I didn't earn it. I know, I know, everyone has a HP, mine was the collective spirit of mankind, but again, it all felt forced."
That is an excuse and probably one I have heard alcoholics use the most for staying away from AA.
"Do I want to stop drinking? Hell to the yes."
Really? It doesn't sound like it to me. Prove it to yourself.
""But to be honest, it's not stopping the drinking that I'm afraid of. It's the feelings that I've been suppressing these past 40 years.It's been my crutch for so many years....then, there is another wrinkle. I had a knee injury for which I take meds for and I'm concerned that I'll just switch one addiction to that.
I used alcohol as a crutch too. After I got sober a little over 2 years ago, I threw my crutch away--it had been broken most all along anyway and wasn't really holding me up as well as I thought it was, because I kept falling most of the time when I used that "crutch".
When did this all become so hard?
When you made it that way. Look, it is a simple program. You either want what we have or you don't. Do you have a softer easier way to get and stay sober? Go for it. I am not going to beg you or anyone to get into AA. And I am not going to coddle you either. It is a personal decision. Hopefully, if you do go back to it, it will be your own decision and not the Court's again. I do wish you the very best and hope that you will get therapy because I don't want you to try to kill yourself again.
-- Edited by hopefulone on Thursday 16th of July 2015 12:14:27 PM
Morning Kids- I did not go last night to the meeting, but I also did not drink, nor did I have any craving to do so. Instead, I read the boards, grabbed a book that has proved helpful to me in the past and occupied myself with weeding the garden.
With me, and I know you'll all say I'm wrong, and I totally respect that, it's not stopping drinking or keeping from drinking, but rather facing the reasons why I drink. I wrote in my journal last night and used a lot of the info from the boards to address just that.
I guess I'm just not ready? IDK, but if it's okay, I'd still like to hang out here for moral support?
~ST
Hi ST,
Well of course you can hang out here, but if you have alcoholism you're going to need to do more than that. An internet discussion board is just not an effective program of recovery from alcoholism. And your comment about 'facing the reasons why you drink' is very, very familiar. Yes, of course that's important, and we have done that as a part of our recovery, but that is not the first thing that we alcoholics need to address in our recovery, and jumping directly to stuff like that without a good foundation in the basics of sobriety like we get in AA just doesn't have a high likelihood of successful long term recovery from alcoholism. Think of it this way - if you wake up in the middle of the night and discover that the house is on fire, now is NOT the time to begin a detailed investigation into what started the fire. Get to safety immediately. And you will find that safety in AA meetings. If all of us could have gotten sober, stayed sober, and learned how to be happy and live a contented serene life without alcohol and could have done all this on our own without all of the direct help from other sober people that we get in AA, we would have done it. Nearly all of us tried to, many times, before we went to AA and asked for help from other people who could help us solve our problem. But these repeated attempts to deal with alcoholism on our own just prolonged our drinking and ruined our lives and nearly killed us.
Alcoholism is a very sneaky foe. Our head will lie to us to prevent us from getting the help we need. The phenomena of rationalizing, minimizing, and denial are a powerful component of alcoholism, and left to run their course, will stop the alcoholic from getting sober. I encourage you to not overthink things and just get to some meetings and ask for help. Don't try to do this the hard way. It can be a recipe for disaster. There is plenty of real help available, and I encourage you to make the most of it.
Well, if you're not ready, then keep reading whatever book it is that you say helps you, and just dont drink today. And, if you like reading, it wouldn't kill you to read a little of The Big Book, either. It's not like it's boring or anything. There's some very interesting stories in there. It's a start. But, you should go to a meeting. You don't have to commit yourself to anything, like going every day, or anything like that. It's not court ordered, so, just go every now and then, it ain't gonna hurt anything, and there's some really cool people there. You've been to them before. But when you went, you were court ordered, and nobody likes to be ordered to do anything. So, you prolly didn't approach the meetings with an open mind. One thing I've learned in this life, is that ya gotta keep an open mind. Then, you have more possibilities.
You go to a meeting, and, as they say, take what you need, and leave the rest behind. I don't go to meetings every day, but, sometimes, I think "ah, I'm gonna go tonight, see what's happenin, maybe hear something I haven't heard before". It sure can't hurt nothin, it doesn't cost any money, nobody is gonna force you to say or do anything you don't want to do, so, just go a couple of times. Maybe you might make a good friend there or something, you never know. And, maybe, just maybe, on yer way to the meeting, you'll stop at the corner store, and buy a lottery ticket, and BAM! WINNER!
Or, maybe somebody will say something to you that will inspire you to not take a drink that day. That's just as good as hitting the lottery. (I think?). Haha...yeah, it is.
If you're not ready to be on our team yet, that's ok, maybe someday. But were goin to the Super Bowl, baby! And where do you go after you win the Super Bowl? DISNEYLAND! See ya there!
(don't drink today. try it for a few days. Maybe you'll like feeling better enough to keep going)
Also, everything Dave12 says is true. Alcohol is sneaky. It's like someone coming from behind you and sucker punching you. Before ya know it, yer on the ground, laying in a pool of yer own blood and piss and vomit. Happened to me a few times.
Morning Kids- I did not go last night to the meeting, but I also did not drink, nor did I have any craving to do so. Instead, I read the boards, grabbed a book that has proved helpful to me in the past and occupied myself with weeding the garden.
With me, and I know you'll all say I'm wrong, and I totally respect that, it's not stopping drinking or keeping from drinking, but rather facing the reasons why I drink. I wrote in my journal last night and used a lot of the info from the boards to address just that.
I guess I'm just not ready? IDK, but if it's okay, I'd still like to hang out here for moral support?
~ST
Yes!!! ... By all means you can hang out with us ... maybe some of our knowledge will 'rub off' on ya ... LOL ... who knows, it may just save yer butt, LOL ...
Hang in there man, you ain't go'n through anything we haven't already been through ... we CAN help ...
Love ya and God Bless,
Pappy
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Morning Kids- I did not go last night to the meeting, but I also did not drink, nor did I have any craving to do so. Instead, I read the boards, grabbed a book that has proved helpful to me in the past and occupied myself with weeding the garden.
With me, and I know you'll all say I'm wrong, and I totally respect that, it's not stopping drinking or keeping from drinking, but rather facing the reasons why I drink. I wrote in my journal last night and used a lot of the info from the boards to address just that.
I guess I'm just not ready? IDK, but if it's okay, I'd still like to hang out here for moral support?
~ST
One alternative to consider is going to an online AA meeting.
