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Post Info TOPIC: Absolute powerlessness - Back home


MIP Old Timer

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Absolute powerlessness - Back home
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Aloha MIP family...I'm home still sitting in the atmosphere of powerlessness with the assurance that I can't...God can...and I will let God.  No I didn't drink and yes I lost the compulsion to drink up to the moment.   Last Monday at about this same time I was being medevac'd over to Oahu and another stop at the Tripler Army Medical Center.  A couple of hours before my wife and my son took control of my life and then the hospital took control of my future.  I was having difficulty not being drunk without the help of alcohol and a ct scan was done shortly thereafter I was riding the back end of an ambulance and then an air ambulance on the way to Tripler and then emergency surgery because my brain had decided to bleed.  This was the second run at it because the dress rehearsal had not been anything as close or severe.  I wasn't told anything or asked anything other than what they asked any other patient under similar conditions...until later.  There were lots of changes twix the first time and last Monday...my original surgeon was on vacation celebrating the birth of his first daughter...cutie and yet he came in and it settled fears.  Next I got an older surgeon who was all about doing the job no personalities or humor...I owe him an amends because I coped an attitude when he wouldn't do things my way which irrupted in sarcasm...shamed myself...been forgiven. He did the right work...it doesn't look pretty and pretty wasn't required. The staff at Tripler which is a huge teaching medical facility go beyond anything I have ever seen elsewhere and my wife and I have been blessed so very much.  We gave back thru what we could from inside our recoveries and it caused so many new relationships to appear and grow.  The healing isn't pretty and still it is healing nicely.  My head feels chopped up cause it has been.  After my brain cleared up and I could understand simple terms and remember the journey from there to now the image of my Higher Power comes from shadow to high definition.   I can say again that awareness I had when I started in early recovery and how our disease had come so very very close to another notch in its pistol grip.  "I shouldn't be here (of course HP would say it different)"  More of the story emerges and the whole journey was to prevent a fatality I couldn't feel coming on.  Amazing awareness came about that while being the patient I rarely said my 3rd step prayer...don't know maybe my mind forgot my schedule of saying it when my eyes open in the morning..."Place me where you want me...tell me what to do" and then might it be that I was living it so that I could be a recipient of their 3rd step prayer.  That Medical Center may not know the steps and they surely know how to walk them.

Anyhow I'm back home.  I have the power to eat, sleep, give payback to my awesome wife, friends and family and regain my health so I can be of use to others.  Of course there is much more to this journey and then enough is enough.  Grateful to find you all still working it.   ((((hugs)))) smile



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Prayers Jerry. Glad you are okay now.

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Heal well Brother.
Interesting ride to say the least.
Toad

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MIP Old Timer

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Pray you get well, Jerry.

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But for the grace of God.


MIP Old Timer

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God's will be done brother.....With God ,all things are possible....Continued healing physically,mentally and spiritually in God's grace(that unmerited favor bestowed upon us)Thanks for update..I continue to lift you up in prayer in my daily office..........smilesmile



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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.


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Jerry,

Sorry to hear you had a rough time. I'm thankful you're healing and recovering. The feeling of powerlessness is devastating. Keep hanging in there, buddy! I'm thankful all the right people were there to do what needed to be done when you needed it! That's the Higher Power helping you, for which in grateful! Take it easy! Sending up prayers for your speedy recovery!!!

Jerricka

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MIP Old Timer

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Thank God (Akua) you're okay ... so glad to know you have a great wife by your side ... thank her for me ... (I have a great one too!)

You're in my prayers as well ...

Closest thing I can relate to on your recent experience was in February, I was rushed to the hospital with a stroke ... I could not talk in simple terms, I could only do what they asked of me ... (the only thing I could say that they understood was the word 'pee', LOL ...) ... the feeling of 'helplessness' was overwhelming ... two days of tests and sent home with a new batch of pills ...

Guess God had other plans for me too ... hope I don't disappoint Him ... that's one of the reasons I'm here today ...


Love MIP & all AA members, God Bless,
Pappy



-- Edited by Pythonpappy on Friday 22nd of May 2015 06:36:09 AM

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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'



MIP Old Timer

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Pappy I'm gonna hold on to this response also as it is right on.  I will relay your thanks to my wife...as she needs it to help her get thru.  "...I could only do what they asked me"...yeppers I made the decision that "they" would be my sponsors when I was taken into the hospital and that worked out very very well.   We did the "pee" issue also because they decided when I was under and in surgery to insert a catheter into and up to my bladder which causes a person to think they need to really pee 24/7.  Removing it and then later cleaning the whole system out will initially cause me to seek anesthetics local or whole body however..."Buck it up matey" and use yer program so grabbing the hand of HP and AA I waited till he counted to 3 and at 3 held my breath till the tube was out and then refrained from cussing and threatening to a smile of relief.

If anyone really wants a place to practice our recoveries and prove that it works that is one of the times and places.  Don't do this at home and if possible try another procedure.

Glad to be alive for today now gonna find out what to do with it.   wink



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MIP Old Timer

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Scary event. Glad you pulled through, JF.

 



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MIP Old Timer

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Yes Jerry, ...

I am also 'Grateful' to have woke up on this side of the dirt this a.m. ... looking forward to the opportunities God has planned for me today too ... 



Take Care buddy, love ya and Akua bless you,
Pappy



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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'

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