March 30, 2015

Quote of the Week

"Anger and resentment are masks for fear."

When I came into the program, I was pretty angry. With the alcohol and drugs gone, I very quickly got in touch with my feelings, and for me that meant my anger quickly turned into rage. Oh, and resentments - I had a lot of those as well. Without having developed the spiritual tools to deal with my feelings yet, I soon became pretty defiant. 

As I began working my way through the program, I learned in the twelve and twelve that we were driven by a hundred forms of self centered fear. After doing a thorough fourth step that included a fear inventory, I found I was driven by way more than just a hundred! It took years, though, for me to realize the connection between my fears and the anger and resentment I felt. 

Today I not only see the connection, but I feel it all the time. In fact, today I know that whenever I'm feeling uncomfortable, impatient, quick to snap at people, or just generally irritable, I'm usually in fear of something. And, again, the twelve and twelve tells me it's usually that I'm afraid of losing something or of not getting something I demand. The good news is that today I have a solution. Today, when I'm feeling angry or resentful, I stop and ask myself what I'm afraid of. 

Doing this allows me to take the mask off my fears and that always leads me to a solution.