Alcoholics Anonymous
Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Post Info TOPIC: Strength in a time of weakness


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 119
Date:
Strength in a time of weakness
Permalink  
 


Not long ago, I would've handled extreme stress and anxiety differently. I would've made an excuse to be by myself and drank myself silly, convincing myself that things were ok. I would've eventually passed out believing that my problem was taken care of. Sober me knows better and the Serenity Prayer helps, it really does! I'm still getting to know my HP and how He and I work together for success. If I follow my HP's voice in my heart, the results are good, or at least better for me in the long run. Let Go & Let God. Nice, simple....not always so simple! This is my challenge for tonight, tomorrow and probably weeks to come. I'm trying this as a calming technique and so far its working so I wanted to share that. Giving the problem to the Higher Power is half of it...the other half is having faith. (That's the hard part for me- faith and trusting). Im focusing on God as my HP, that feels right to me. I had a different idea not so long ago, I left the old screwed up doctrine behind and embraced Christianity, this feels much better. I've been praying intermittently since Friday when I scheduled an appointment at the VA to address issues going on with me for much too long (pain, swelling lumps in my neck and facial bones). For 3 years I told myself it will get better but its worse, so in the morning I'm taking my chickensh** self to the clinic. As anxiety gets worse, my old ways of thinking remind me I could feel fine about it in 15 min, but thats not how I choose to do things now. In my old life, going to doctors was not an option, it was against church beliefs. I excommunicated myself and am now trying to live by common sense...while staying sober. While the VA is a semi-incompetent health care system, its what I'm stuck with. It's not the visit that stresses me, it's the results and I know I'm facing lots of testing and biopsy. Tomorrows visit will be the easy one and I'm calm about that. There's a van that picks people up and brings them back, so I don't have to worry about that. It's mostly about getting the ball rolling and getting the problems fixed. Why I'm so antsy about it is because so many of the people I served with in Iraq have since come up sick with illnesses that make me glad I'm not in their situation...or am I? If I am or if I'm not-it's no reason to drink. That would only make it worse, either way. I consider this a weak moment because even though I'm not tempted to drink, the idea came to mind. Sobriety is a new way if thinking and a new way of life. I've left booze alone a long time now, but I know I have to hold my program close because the old ways still make their presence known...and it's up to me to reject it. I'm depending on strength from my HP, there are no other choices for me. Thank you for listening.

__________________


MIP Old Timer

Status: Offline
Posts: 12357
Date:
Permalink  
 

I think God gave us doctors and medicines for a reason ... glad you got outta the church that believes in 'faith healing' ...

I wrote out a long reply only to lose it in my system somewhere ... ooops!

Wanted to ask about your mom... how's she getting along ???

And I had also written that I agreed with your 'having a drink only makes a problem worse, not better' ...

I just completed cancer treatment and I place total faith in God's healing power ... to maintain 'conscious contact' with God means the world to me ...


Take care and God Bless,
Pappy



__________________

'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'



Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 119
Date:
Permalink  
 

Hello Pythonpappy, Mom is having better days the last few days, thanks for asking. Each day brings a new set of challenges and triumphs. I was concerned about leaving her by herself for hours while I was gone, but she did well. I was preoccupied when I arrived at my appointment and forgot to un-hotwire my car and drained the battery, causing more delays...someday, I'll laugh about it. I truly hope your cancer treatment is successful, I can imagine the stress. Your strength is admirable, and you gotta do what you gotta do. I'll keep you in my prayers! Wishing you the best! Jerricka

__________________


MIP Old Timer

Status: Offline
Posts: 12357
Date:
Permalink  
 

Thanks Jerricka, ... you are also in my prayers, both you and your mom ... hope your test results also turn out favorable ...

Pappy



__________________

'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'

Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.