Alcoholics Anonymous
Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Post Info TOPIC: New to board. My story


Newbie

Status: Offline
Posts: 1
Date:
New to board. My story
Permalink  
 


I am a 33 year old woman with a beautiful daughter and wonderful husband but I really have  a problem with alcohol . Today is day 2 of being sober and I feel miserable not because of not having alcohol but because I am depressed from what alcohol makes me do. 

so here I go , I am one of those peoples that gets home each night and thinks I need a glass( or 3) to relax from the day. I also have a beer at lunch on the weekends and more than I should throughout the day. my major issues is I will do fine drinking for a while and then I will binge drink and just get so wasted and become someone I am not usually.  I always wake up with a moral hangover and can not remember hours of the night before. I usually try and hide from my husband how much I drink  but he usually always finds out and all of our major fights have always been from my drinking and the person i become when I do. 

well my latest drunk incident was Thursday at a work meeting away from home, I got so drunk I'm front of upper management and even cussed at one but by far the worst part is that I don't know if I cheated on my husband. I have never felt so angry at myself and just ashamed . I need help and i do not want alcohol to ruin my family and I need support. I also never want my daughter to remember me as this person. I have looked up as meetings and plan in starting asap. i have had alcohol ruin other relationships and refuse to let it ruin my family.  



__________________
Sharon Mack


MIP Old Timer

Status: Offline
Posts: 2385
Date:
Permalink  
 

Welcome to MIP!

Great idea on making a meeting.  WE have learned the healing begins by putting down the substance.Our goal is recovery through our 12 STEPS(the program of AA) applied in all areas of our lives. Great first step, THE fellowship at meetings, will help you find a sponsor(those who value sponsorship get the most value from the program) hope to hear more from you..In support and prayer WE are here for each other ,sharing in a loving and caring manner our experience ,strength and HOPE....:)  you can find more information at this LINK....http://www.aa.org/   In support and prayer....



__________________
Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.


MIP Old Timer

Status: Offline
Posts: 12357
Date:
Permalink  
 

Welcome to MIP Sharon, ... this can be a good place to start ... we can certainly give you many suggestions to get started in recovery ...

Depending on your drink'n history, you may need to get a Dr. to look over you because of some of the potential severe side-effects of the detox process ... but for sure, check out a local AA meeting to see what we're all about ... we base our recovery process on a 'spiritual' solution ... we are not connected to any religious organizations at all ...

Please get to a meeting as soon as you can ... AND keep an open mind ...


Love ya and God Bless,
Pappy



__________________

'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'



MIP Old Timer

Status: Offline
Posts: 3278
Date:
Permalink  
 

 

 

Welcome to the board Sharon.  You brought motivation with you and I hope your motivation remains self directed.   I went after sobriety for myself and learned as much as I could about alcoholism in my life and before I entered my family.   Learning that alcoholism is not a moral issue was huge for me though many things I did under the influence of alcohol were not acceptable and moral I would do them because I was under the influence and so I had to deal with the compulsion and allergy of the disease before tackling the moral errors.   Ours is a life threatening disease...if not arrested by total abstinence we drive ourselves and others insane and then we die horribly.   Welcome to the board and recovery.  What worked for me was being able to reach out to others and ask the question, "Can you help me....please"?   The please was mandatory as I knew that if I didn't use it I wasn't serious enough about restoring my life and sanity.     (((((hugs))))) smile



__________________


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 123
Date:
Permalink  
 

Welcome Sharon...As much as I know you are in a very painful spot, I can see you are really at the perfect spot to really dive in to AA. Ideally, we need to be demoralized and ready and willing to really do the program full force. It does sound like you are ready to take this seriously and delve in. Step 1 is basically a deep knowledge and concession that you cannot drink safely...ever...It always leads to something bad. You are not a recreational drinker and you never will be. As hard as I fought that and for so long...it was so freeing when I finally accepted it.

__________________


MIP Old Timer

Status: Offline
Posts: 1305
Date:
Permalink  
 

Welcome Sharon. What Peecee said above is very important. Alcoholism is an illness, not a weakness, it is progressive and always gets worse over time. Unless treated, alcoholics either go insane or die. There is no way to make a normal drinker out of an alcoholic so there is no possibility of ever drinking like other people. There is a solution in AA, a solution that has brought permanent sobriety to millions. If you want to survive this thing the first thing to do is get to some meetings and talk to the people wh have found the solution. They will help you.

__________________

Fyne Spirit

Walking with curiosity.



Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 212
Date:
Permalink  
 

Welcome to MIP Sharon,
Without AA I would have lost everything you are afraid of losing.
I would have lost my wife and my children would have many more awful memories of Dad's drunken behavior.
I had to be kicked out of my house before I surrendered.
If you don't want to turn into that other Sharon, go to a meeting and meet others who have been in your shoes.

I have a better life without alcohol and I try to serve others in their search for sobriety, and end the insanity of drinking and expecting different results.

One of my earliest defenses to this disease was to "think the first drink through to the end result." blackout, things done or said that I would be ashamed of embarrassed of.

You will find acceptance, understanding and wisdom in the AA rooms and in place like MIP.

We love you because we are family, we share more than family sometimes, and the help that I still get everyday from this program has saved my life, and we hope to save yours.

__________________
There but for the grace of God go I.


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 403
Date:
Permalink  
 

Welcome! It sounds like you do have a job and maybe insurance. You may want to see your doctor and think about detox in a facility or a normal hospital for a few days followed by some outpatient treatment in the evenings. NOBODY has to know about this. Tell everybody you have to go in for an ulcer or something. This can help you with the withdrawal symptoms and the most dangerous period. THEN think about how not to start up again. AA can help with that.

__________________
Render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's, and unto God that which is God's.


MIP Old Timer

Status: Offline
Posts: 3412
Date:
Permalink  
 

I hear you, Sharon. I remember my first real confrontation back in 2001. My wife, Dianne, and members of her immediately family had voiced their concern over my obsessive drinking. These were their exact words: Can't you see what this is doing to our family? I could not. My only concern, at the time, was getting exactly what 'I' wanted, regardless. In fact, the only person who was willing to confront my drinking problem head on was my wife, Dianne. I remember the exact words she used: You better get this cleared up or else. Unfortunately the 'or else' part came first. If that wasn't bad enough, my daughter of 24 years gave me a similar ultimatum, get help or else. I Think you see a trend developing here. Needless to say, after 3 rehabs and just as many stints in A.A, I finally put 2 and 2 together -that was 14 years ago.

Today, things are quite different. I'm now in good standing with my entire family, thanks to an amazing wife and a wonderful support network. So can you. These are the steps I took in no particular order: First, I needed to commit to a plan. The first stage was designed to keep me in the game. It included some quality time alone, and a sit down with my immediately family. Then, I entered a rehab and spent the next ninety days attending meetings and of course, group therapy. It was a game changer for me.  Second, I needed to further my ongoing commitment after a brief stint in rehab.  I needed to practice the three P's -patience, persistence and perseverance, and be willing to put sobriety first above all else. When I did, things started to improve. Lastly, I needed to further my horizons, which includes increased involvement in A.A. and a support network to back it up. With those tools in hand, we can accomplish just about anything, guaranteed. Just remember:  A little willingness and a positive can-do-attitude can go a long way.  I hope that trend continues. Welcome to M.I.P.



-- Edited by Mr_David on Saturday 28th of February 2015 11:28:01 PM

__________________
Mr.David


Newbie

Status: Offline
Posts: 2
Date:
Permalink  
 

Hi Sharon,
I'm new too, and we have a lot in common. I, too, have had many drinking sessions that were fine, in fact 9 out of 10 would be. But the 10th one that was not fine, could (and has) ruined my whole life and caused me to lose everything that I had (which wasn't much to start with). That one binge is so disastrous.

I embarassed the hell out of myself last time I got drunk, and like you, became someone completely and totally different. But that's why I started drinking, to become more confident and socialize. Later is turned to be a tonic for depression, anger and resentment and I just became a complete jerk when I was drunk. I am so jealous of those who can drink a few socially because now I know I can never be like that. I'm afraid to drink again, because I could hurt myself or someone else.

I also had times where I woke up and realized I had cheated on my partner, or maybe I had but couldn't remember. I also became verbally abusive to people. It is so hard to even look in the mirror now. I want to pull my hair out I am so ashamed of my behavior. I don't know how to get over this. I went to a meeting tonight which helped but I am still thinking about it so I signed up here. I hope I don't do this to myself and others ever again. If I stay sober I can hopefully heal my mind and the people I offended will forgive me.

__________________


MIP Old Timer

Status: Offline
Posts: 12357
Date:
Permalink  
 

Hi Stevee, ... work the program and what you said you hoped for will happen ... ... ...

I had to laugh ... when you said you it was hard for you to look in the mirror ... when I was still in active addiction, I'd look in the mirror and curse at myself for 'do'n it again' ... and then sometimes I even spat at myself while looking in the mirror ... boy, I was one sick puppy ... ... ...


Good to see you posting, Take Care and God Bless,
Pappy



__________________

'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'



MIP Old Timer

Status: Offline
Posts: 3278
Date:
Permalink  
 

 

 

Welcome Stevee B I'm glad you are here cause you bring one of the characters of the recovering drunk to the board...the willingness to help others.  We are not all bad and are children of God with a life threatening disease.  Good on you for reaching out to Sharon with hope...now its time to put you in front of that experience, strength and hope for Stevee B.  I know what it was like to pass in front of the mirror and not look at who passed right along side me.  I didn't have time for that I had time to drink and let the pieces of that fall where they may.  We are here now to change that and become people we have not ever known outside of alcohol...I welcome you back to learn to get and stay sober and to listen to your journey thru our program.  There is no program I have found that restores a live which stood at the front door of total ruin and death.  I`m in support along with the MIP family and AA.  ((((hugs)))) smile



__________________


Veteran Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 56
Date:
Permalink  
 

Hi Sharon, Booze did the same thing to me while I was binge drinking.  Every time I got drunk I felt fine for a while but by the end of the night I was usually a person I didn't want to be.  I recall parties and house gatherings where I drank and the next morning I woke up feeling like things happened I didn't ever intend to happen..   When I found the AA meetings I began learning sobriety and the more I stayed with the program and stayed away from alcohol, my life began improving mirracously!!.  I remember in my earlier years when I drank I earnt a reputation I really felt bad about but I knew it was my drinking that caused it and I was a better person, I just needed to get the alcohol out of my life.  But it was hard.  AA meetings were the answer I was looking for.   Best of luck to you.  Bw.



__________________


MIP Old Timer

Status: Offline
Posts: 3726
Date:
Permalink  
 

Did you check out that meeting sharon?



__________________

Thanks for everything.  Peace and Love on your journey.  

Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.