Alcoholics Anonymous
Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Post Info TOPIC: Knowledge Through Experience


MIP Old Timer

Status: Offline
Posts: 1305
Date:
Knowledge Through Experience
Permalink  
 


Hi all.

I often think about that early time in AA in no mans land, where I wasn't drinking but had yet to tackle the steps. I almost got stuck around steps two and three, as many seem to do, because many of the members of that time were telling me how they needed to have rock solid relationship with the God of their understanding before getting on with step four.

I was floundering about, wondering why I had no feeling for this God, even though with my limited intellectual power, I could kind of get the idea of there being some kind of power in the universe giving order to things and perhaps something had been looking after me through some of my drinking adventures. But I had no concept of a God as  working power in my life, one that would give me guidance on a daily basis. Then I found this little passage in the book which was reassuring to say the least.

"even though it was impossible for any of us to fully define or comprehend that Power, which is God" p 46,  That was me. But I was willing to believe. I gave prayer a try, which felt a bit wierd, praying to something I wasnt at all sure about.

Then " As soon as we admitted the possible existence of a Creative Intelligence, a Spirit of the Universe underlying the totality of things, we began to be possessed of a new sense of power and direction, provided we took other simple steps " P46.

A strange thing happened. Within a few days I felt a compelling need, so compelling as to overcome my fear, to take step four. I turned up on my sponsors door step on a Saturday morning and asked him to help me with my fourth step. The next day I took my fifth after which he sent me away for an hour to consider the instructions on page 75. I was astonished to read in the fifth step promises, a description of exactly how I was feeling.

"We pocket our pride and go to it, illuminating every twist of character, every dark cranny of the past. Once we have taken this step, withholding nothing, we are delighted. We can look the world in the eye. We can be alone at perfect peace and ease. Our fears fall from us. We begin to feel the nearness of our Creator. We may have had certain spiritual beliefs, but now we begin to have a spiritual experience. The feeling that the drink problem has disappeared will often come strongly. We feel we are on the Broad Highway, walking hand in hand with the Spirit of the Universe."p75

Mere words don't seem adequate to describe this experience, but I experienced exactly what is described, and through that experience, began to "know" the God of my understanding.

I began to understand how this program works, and what was meant by the statement ".Well, that's exactly what this book is about. Its main object is to enable you to find a Power greater than yourself which will solve your problem." This was a long way from my initial idea that AA was some kind of group therapy self help program that would teach me how to fix myself.

I took the action, had the experience and through that got to know my Higher Power. That was the order of events for me. What was your experience?

 



-- Edited by Fyne Spirit on Saturday 21st of February 2015 02:50:36 PM

__________________

Fyne Spirit

Walking with curiosity.



MIP Old Timer

Status: Offline
Posts: 3726
Date:
Permalink  
 

You just wrote it out word for word :)

__________________

Thanks for everything.  Peace and Love on your journey.  



MIP Old Timer

Status: Offline
Posts: 12357
Date:
Permalink  
 

I agree with Tasha, Mike, ... ... ... and you stated it so very well ...

I take your question as ... 'How did we arrive, or when, to our 'Spiritual Awakening', that this was truly the solution to our life problem ???' .... What a great question!!! ...

For me, I was the 'in AA, out of AA' type ... I would come into AA and 'go along' with everyone for a while, giving the impression I was "getting it" ... I would get disillusioned and convince myself this ain't work'n ... then start the 'merry-go-round' all over again ... My last time to come in was under near death conditions ... I was truly sick-n-tired of be'n sick-n-tired ...

In rehab this time, after 3 days in a wheelchair, I came across a counselor that was a 'reader', like me ... he offer to loan me a book called 'The Shack' by Robert Young ... It had a 'spiritual' context to it ... This book changed my whole 'way' of think'n ... I saw things around me soooo differently ... Long story short, I was about a few months out of rehab when I was driving to one of my daily meetings ... 'SUDDENLY' in my car a 'sensation' came over me that God entered my car and sat in the passenger seat beside me ... I was soooo shocked that I nearly ran off the road ... I had this 'Peace and Calm' come over me like I had never, ever, felt before ... it was then I new, everything was in His hands and would be alright ...

This is where I actually completed steps 2 and 3 without question ... (before that, I was told to 'act as if', ...) ... after this incident, I finished the steps without delay ... (for those interested, this was mid- '08 ...) ...

I forgave others and asked to be forgiven by yet even others ... made my amends and started several 'living amends' ... Anger left me, 'peace and serenity' had become my constant companions, and the men and women in AA had become my brothers and sisters ... and the thought crossed my mind then, 'Who in their right mind would ever let this 'life' feeling go once they had it ???' ... ... ...

Shortly after this awakening, I began the trek in search of others to help get what I found ... and still do today ...


Love you guys, you are my family, and God Bless,
Pappy


P.S.   Today, the counselor who loaned me the book, is now my Sponsor (after he retired and 'ethics' were no longer an issue)



-- Edited by Pythonpappy on Sunday 22nd of February 2015 10:11:51 AM

__________________

'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'



MIP Old Timer

Status: Offline
Posts: 2385
Date:
Permalink  
 

Good morning Mike and blessings of this day!

My journey into oblivion started very early around 12 years old. I was reared as a Catholic,and a altar boy ,Parochial schools and a rigid format in Catechism and church doctrine. I always had a belief but I rebelled early and finally left the church as I was entering the Armed Forces in '65,a stone drug addict and alcoholic..My life was full of devastation and guilt and hopelessness,Parenting at the age of 17(lets just say I had children,parenting not quite the word) divorced twice and finally ending up with that one last situation,,continue on to the same jails,institutions,deriliiction or death or find a new way to live.Through the God of my understandings grace and mercy I was able to chose the latter.First few years were very difficult,as you,not using but not recovering.It was in'86 .two years after I admitted total acceptance and defeat that I also accepted the God of my understanding a formed a relationship rather than a book of rules(per se)The application of the STEPS,OUR GOAL RECOVERY through the STEP process,alongside the guide of my understandings guidance was paramount in my daily recovery.I always remembered that our 2nd STEP tells us WE CAME TO BELIEVE "THAT" A Power not "IN" a POWER  "could restore us"  I already had my own beliefs system and it did not interfere with my own Higher Power and the relationship I still continue to nurture daily, just continued to grow..Being guided by my Higher Power in all areas,with the application of our Solution,THE steps AND a real focus on the two most important guidelines for me..Love God,with my whole heart ,mind and soul,and 2nd my neighbor as myself,,,keeps me as humble as possible(i obviously fall short often)but get back up quickly)For me,I don't use and mind altering mood changing substances(well I do still struggle with coffee(even though coffee never put me in jail :) and with God I find all things possible...As we are told our journey is a progression of faith and the closer I can stay to my Higher Power the better all the rest falls in place through trials and joy...There is a reason I am graced with LIFE and I humbly and gratefully do all I can to give back ,to the best of my ability what I can and to remember that Complacency is the enemy of those with substantial time free of active addiction,if WE are complacent for too long,our recovery ceases.  Just For Today,,,,I believe that God wants me to be all that God intended me to be,but the details are left up to me..That's the WORK...........GOOD HEARING FROM YOU MIKE,,,HAVE A BLESSED AND PRODUCTIVE DAY...........



__________________
Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.