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Post Info TOPIC: Freedom from bondage.


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Freedom from bondage.
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No, i'm not talking about 50 shades of grey. Today I'm free from being a slave to alcohol. Also from people places and things which requires acceptance over situations  I can't control. Almost 4 months into my new Apt. and now I have peace of mind. I'm actually enjoying the ride to recovery trudging the road to happy destiny. So much has changed for me in the last six months I can't believe the person I'm becoming. My alcoholism is no longer a hindrance to me but one of my greatest assets as long as I don't drink for today. I no longer view the bumps in the road as negative but something positive only because of having a proper attitude. It's not wanting what you need, its wanting what you got. Today I have a lot to be grateful for even when the day may not seem so bright now thats being optimistic. Sure I had plenty of that when everything was going my way but not so much when the chips were down. Very much different today. Its unsettling at times having nothing to bitch about. Lol did i just say that. I asked my sponsor if he was sure everything was ok. Still have to go to meetings of course or it would be very easy to get complacent. I can't take all the credit though for Father doeth the work. I only said yes and showed up which is more than 1/2 the battle. About six months ago I ended a toxic marriage and my mind is quite clear now. Recently though the former wife has been sending me emails expressing getting back together. I know for myself its not something I wish to pursue at the moment for I truly have nothing to currently offer her plus she is not well and It would be detrimental to my emotional sobriety. It's nice to know God is in the pause, six months ago I might have jumped back in the fire. This is the freedom this program offers when you work it. I no longer need to react to a situation. It took a lot of suffering to learn how to pause when agitated and doubtful,  Which leads to restrain from tongue and pen. Finally learning to live life on life's terms. Its interesting that  90% of the time something works out way better than i could have hoped for when I just stay out if it and do nothing. Imagine doing nothing, doesn't sound to proactive but for a alcoholic with a diseased mind it is. Almost like a oxymoron it is. Well don't wish to ramble on just that i'm grateful for this program for giving me a spiritual way of life. It is truly a blessing. smile



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MIP Old Timer

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Great post Enigma, ... a lot different than when you first got here, LOL ...

One can never have too much 'gratitude' ... I am grateful to be sober today and God willing, will go to bed that way ...

It's always quite a shock when we get and stay sober in this program AND go on to see, realize, and feel the promises coming true for us ... it's like the old say'n ... S.O.B.E.R. --- Son Of-a Bitch Everything's Real ... and so we learn to adjust our 'attitude' like you said ... and we go on to learn what 'real life pleasures are all about' ... you've given me joy today to simply know you're doing well and inspiring others ... for that, I am grateful ... thanks ...



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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'



MIP Old Timer

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Sounds like you found the lamp E and got it on.  You've come a long way from whence you first came...doubt it?  read back on your earlier post and the responses.  Isn't the freedom from despair glorious?  Keep coming back will help you keep it.   smile



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MIP Old Timer

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At the risk of sounding sappy...You are a miracle in progress!

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Thanks for the encouraging words. Went to a men's BB study group a member holds in his basement. Meeting was awesome. I got to share. Someone said holy moly ... It's a miracle you spoke for over 6 min and didn't mention your wife once. I was a mess for a while when I came in. Little did he know I was divorced and we all got a chuckle. Stated well now we know why your so happy and have peace if mind he hadn't seen me in a while and could see I changed greatly. Seemed the topic focused on living with sobriety. That is were it is at. If you can develop a relationship with a HP, work the steps you can be happy joyous and free. Quiting drinking is easy, staying sober is the hard part. I only serve one master and his name isn't alcohol anymore. If I keep it in today and place no expectations on outside things I'm good to go. We relax we take it easy we don't struggle. Acceptance is the answer to all my problems. What a beautiful thing it is to let go and let God.

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MIP Old Timer

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Very appropriate PC ... ... ...



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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'



MIP Old Timer

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Wow, ... What a difference living in an 'up-beat' manner ... changes our whole 'outlook on life, huh ??? ...



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Sappy is ok in my book. I'll take what I can get Lol.

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MIP Old Timer

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pinkchip wrote:

At the risk of sounding sappy...You are a miracle in progress!


          Amen to that. Keep up the good work. 



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Mr.David


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Enigma,

Thank you very much for sharing your words. I got a lot from your message. It is amazing that I understand what you are saying!! One year, eight months ago, I was in the middle of a near fatal, horrifying two week relapse. Then, was extremely suicidal (and during). Before that, I was a dry drunk for ten months. I went back to my homegroup and started diving into the steps with a big book step sponsor. As you said, it has given me a whole new way of thinking and living! I do not have the worry, worry, worry that I had my whole life!! Nor the deep emptiness, intense anger and resentment and even hate, especially toward God. I was in extreme victimhood and self-pity. And to top that off, I had developed alcoholism. Could it get any lower!? HA! That's where I was not long ago. I now see my developing alcoholism as the same blessing you do! :) I learned how to implement having God in my life. That was a totally foreign concept to me before! I have learned to some level of effectiveness how to surrender to Him and let the universe take care of any problems or needs I have. This made absolutely NO sense to me when first learning the steps. I now have peace, true inner joy and purpose in my life THAT IS NOT DEPENDENT ON OTHER PEOPLE OR THE EXTERNAL CONDITIONS OF MY LIFE. I get more than imaginable from helping others on an almost daily basis. I am content, not complacent. I am hungry for more! So, I keep doing what AA taught me to do in all my affairs. From grateful Connie :)



-- Edited by Connie F on Tuesday 18th of November 2014 08:43:19 PM

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Connie


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Connie. Good share thank you. I can identify with being suicidal before I went back out for a week. But my motivation at the time to drink wasn't motivated by wanting to numb, drown or a craving to drink. I knew it wasn't the answer and wouldn't help. But I did know it would lower my inhibitions and allow me to carry out a task I could not do sober. That's how sick it got for me sober with all the stuff I had going on. Fortunately God had other plans for me. I could not stay sober enough to drive where I needed to go to get the things I needed to follow through with me plan. I would have never made it driving. It was kind of a catch 22 so I just surrendered and turned to God for help in facing all the fear I had no matter what the consequences. I called my sponsor got to a meeting. The next day a comforting feeling overcame me letting me know it's going to be ok no matter what. God brought me to it he will see me through it. I no longer feel he is not next me. I rarely feel lonely. Plus the fact still no craving or obsession to drink when I sobered up again. Truly a blessing. Been that way ever since. I stopped fighting him in my life.

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