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Post Info TOPIC: too young


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too young
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Hello,

I'm reaching out in hope that I can find some support. I'm a 25 year old alcoholic riddled with mental health issues. It's become exceedingly tough for me to abstain from drinking (it feels like I need it to get by). I've been to a few AA meetings but it seems that my addiction is more serious than I thought. It seems the biggest problem for me is that I have no one to relate to (the meetings I have been to have not had anyone remotely close to my age -- mostly people that have been sober for a long time). It's tough to be 25 and have no one to relate to with respect to problems regarding alcoholism. I'm hoping to reach out to have some semblance of hope. The AA community has been very positive and accepting - I hope to go to a meeting tonight. I suppose the point of this message is just to consider young people who suffer from alcohol abuse.

 

Thank you in advance for the support and I wish all of you the best with respect to staying sober.

 

God bless,

 

Ivan



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MIP Old Timer

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Welcome ivan999. There are huge numbers of young people in AA and they are getting sober and staying sober. Have you checked your local AA directory for meetings designated "Y" or "YP" (meetings that focus on young people in AA)? Another option would be to ask some of the older people that are in the meetings you currently attend if they know of any other meetings that have lots of young people. They may be able to suggest some. You can also contact ICYPAA, the International Conference of Young People in AA. They have lots of info that may help. Also, if there are meetings in your area that are held in places like a college campus, they are likely to have a higher number of younger people attending.

And of course, there's no reason to assume that the older people in your meetings can't relate to you or can't help you. For example, I'm fifty four years old now, but I was 28 when I got sober so just because I'm older than you right now doesn't mean I don't know what it's like to be getting sober in my twenties. If you do the math you'll see that this is true for anyone in your meetings who is a couple of decades older than you, and has a couple of decades of sobriety. They were your age when they were new in AA, and they know what that's like. And now they have a lot of experience staying sober, so why not talk to them about their experience with all of that?



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MIP Old Timer

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Ivan, I wish I had gotten sober at your age. Nonetheless, I wasted much of my 20s and half of my 30s. I did accomplish some things school and career-wise, as my pattern was severe binging up til the last few years when I started drinking most every night. Anyhow, I thought my mental health issues were worse than they are and I had never been on my appropriate meds sober to know how they worked. I had not nurtured coping skills in a long time. My point - I suspect that if you stick this out and stay close to AA, get a sponsor, really work this, you will also find out you are not as riddled with mental health problems as you think you are right now.

Additionally, I am not sure where you live, but the recovery community here in Florida is booming with people your age. Dave gave you some good suggestions there and there's not much I'd add other than to say, even IF getting sober means hanging around older and more stable people who have been in your shoes, wouldn't it be worth it? Even at 36, I would sometimes find myself in meetings with people mostly older than me. I didn't give a crap because I was getting better and they were quality people. It served me well and it continues to. I have some friends in the program who did get sober at your age and they now have 15 to 20 years sober, so that is pretty remarkable.

Anyhow, you aren't missing anything with the "young crowd" that goes bar hopping and what not all the time. In AA there is real sober social support and a new family to be had comprised of people that are really available to you. That, and your sobriety are way more important than having young friends or even relationships right now. Later on when you have more sobriety and are more stable, you can see if you want to join other groups or organizations or clubs to meet people your age. You will still be young in 2 years, but 27 and 2 years sober will be SO SO SO much better than never having given this your all because you were bothered by being younger than most in the rooms. Focus on recovery with all you have and everything else will fall into place. That is how it worked for me.

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MIP Old Timer

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P.S. - You don't graduate AA at 2 years. Just saying - things will be remarkably different if you can stay sober and really work the program just for that period of time. If it means hanging around older people and living in an AA bubble of sorts for a couple years so you can have a REAL LIFE rather than a tragic mess of a life caused by alcoholism and compounding MH problems....it's worth it. I ate, breathed, and crapped AA for 2 years. I needed that and even that was a giant improvement over my life while drinking. Currently, I still am very involved in AA, but life is pretty full. I went to 7 meetings a week for those 2 years though... A good investment in myself to emerge much healthier and sober...

So...yeah. Don't entertain excuses for not doing this. Surrender fully...No reservations or it has less chance of working. Do it full force! Half measures avail us nothing.

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MIP Old Timer

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ivan9999 wrote:

I'm reaching out in hope that I can find some support. I'm a 25 year old alcoholic riddled with mental health issues. It's become exceedingly tough for me to abstain from drinking (it feels like I need it to get by). I've been to a few AA meetings . . .


 Welcome, Ivan. Have you been under medical care for your mental health issues? 



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MIP Old Timer

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Welcome Ivan, ...

Admitting you have a problem with alcohol is a GREAT 1st step ... and I feel AA is a great program to support good 'mental health' ... our AA Big Book tells us: "There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest." ...

Go to more meetings and stay after it's over for a few minutes to ask questions you'd rather not discuss openly in the meeting ... look for someone that seems happy to be there and is willing to talk to you one-on-one ... listen to others sharing in the meeting to get a 'feel' for who you feel you can approach ... after all, our whole purpose in being there is to help each other ...


Take Care and God Bless,
Pappy



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MIP Old Timer

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Hi Ivan,

All the folks who have responded have really given you some excellent feedback.  Right on the mark.  Like Pink Chip, I too wish I'd gotten sober a lot sooner than I did -- I was almost 40.  But, the truth is, I'm blessed to have gotten sober at all.  When I first got sober for real, most all the people in my groups were in their 60's and had been sober for 20 years or more.  They were one of my greatest blessings because they had so much experience and helped me with every aspect of my life.  Most of all, they encouraged me to work the Steps.  I'll always be grateful for the many gifts they handed me.

Good luck and blessings always,

Mike D.



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MIP Old Timer

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Our district has at least 5 beginners meetings every single week. The Wednesday night meeting down on Elm Street is certainly the most popular. It features a beginners forum called young in recovery. The entire meeting is geared towards the under 30 crowd. Specifically, those with 1 year or less. It's usually held in a dark room surrounded by numerous candles. I know, that part sounds a bit creepy, but in retrospect it's actually kind of fun. I spoke there numerous times myself. In fact, two of my sponsee's, Mike and Paul, are frequent visitors. They recently expanded the meeting to two nights a week instead of the usually one, thanks in part to it's growing popularity. So it makes sense to have beginners meetings, especially for those who are new to recovery. Who knows, it may turn out to be a blessing.   

There's one thing I'm particularly proud of, despite A.A's success rate, and it centers around two equally important factors, the younger generation and their contributions to the A.A. program. The truth is; it's really nice to see young people, like yourself, get involved. I hope that trend continues. Maybe all it needs is a voice, like yours. It's how things "get started" by the way. My advice to you: If there's a will, there's a way. I could not agree more. Best of luck.  



-- Edited by Mr_David on Sunday 2nd of November 2014 04:11:59 PM

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