Typical question, right? "What's a 12-Step program like?" Asked by someone who is simply ignorant of any but the most general aspects of, say, AA.
Here's a nice Q & A about that. Doc does a nice job explaining. He's concise, informative and even-handed in his summary. Very realistic, too. I like his professional yet conversational approach
September 10, 2014 | by Michael Radkowsky
Are 12-steps right for me?
Michael,
Like most of my friends, I guess you could say I have a couple of addictions. I usually get really drunk on weekends. I frequently use recreational drugs including K and sometimes even Meth when Im going out or having sex. Maybe Im addicted to hooking up because I like the rush it gives me and do it regularly.
It feels weird to think of any of this as problematic because it seems like the norm in my social group. But I have to admit that I am almost irresistibly drawn to all of these behaviors and dont think I could just cold-turkey stop any of them.
You often write that Alcoholics Anonymous and other 12-step groups are helpful for dealing with addiction. I know I could use some help but I dont have any idea how these groups are supposed to work. I hear there is a religious angle, which Im not interested in. Also, when I hear acquaintances talking about The Program and working the steps, it sounds like some kind of cult. And Im not interested in living a life of deprivation.
I wonder if you could explain how these groups are helpful?
Michael replies: Ive seen 12-step groups literally save the lives of friends and clients and I think they work in two main ways. First, attending meetings gives you support and a feeling of community. Youll meet others who are working to be sober, hear their stories and share your own struggles with them. Youre likely to feel less alone in your effort to stop using, learn tools for staying sober and make friends you can reach out to when youre feeling vulnerable. Youll also have a sponsor, your guide and advocate in the program, whom you talk with regularly.
Second, the program lays out 12 steps of recovery that are a path to ggreater self-awareness and personal growth. Like good psychotherapy, the steps give you a framework for looking at your behavior patterns and taking responsibility for yourself. I see them as tools for learning how to live with integrity and for understanding what leads you toward compulsive addictive behaviors.
I often hear from people in the program that working the 12 steps and practicing principles such as honesty provide a feeling of serenity that helps them deal with the stressors of life without overreacting or falling back into addictive behaviors. A few more points to keep in mind: twelve-step groups are abstinence-based, but the only requirement for joining is a desire to stop using. Dont worry; groups for sex addiction such as Sexual Compulsives Anonymous dont define abstinence as celibacy, but as stopping compulsive sexual behaviors and figuring out your own definition of healthy sexual behavior.
While 12-step groups traditions, slogans and rituals can seem cult-like, they actually have a very open, diverse membership and are not at all about mind control. To the contrary, they can help you break free of active addiction and that is a very powerful form of mind control.
Like you, many of my clients have told me that they arent interested in attending a 12-step group because they dont believe in God. Yes, there are many references to God in the steps and recovery literature, but God is defined simply as a higher power, something bigger than yourself, not a biblical deity. Its a spiritual, not religious program, and many members are atheist.
Finally, while I get your concern about not wanting a life of deprivation, the experience Ive most often heard from people in recovery is of having a life that is fuller and richer than they ever thought would be possible.
Getting past addiction is extremely tough and there is no easy way to do it. And a 12-step group may not be for you. There are also harm reduction programs that some people utilize to moderate their substance use and minimize consequences. What I like best about the 12-step model is that it gives people strong support and helps them develop the internal strength to deal with life without self-medicating. If you are intrigued, the best way to learn more is to actually attend several 12-step meetings. There are many in our area, including LGBT meetings.
If you feel like you cant control your substance use and hookups, I hope you will look for support. Your life, like other LGBT lives, is far too valuable to be squandered in addictive behaviors.
Getting past addiction is extremely tough and there is no easy way to do it. And a 12-step group may not be for you. There are also harm reduction programs that some people utilize to moderate their substance use and minimize consequences.
I can only thank God....That this wasn't the advice offered to me. I wouldn't be here reading this if it was.
Getting past addiction is extremely tough and there is no easy way to do it. And a 12-step group may not be for you. There are also harm reduction programs that some people utilize to moderate their substance use and minimize consequences.
I can only thank God....That this wasn't the advice offered to me. I wouldn't be here reading this if it was.
That was my first reaction too SC, moderation and harm reduction are not successful with alcoholics of my type. Then I thought " how do I know that?
Answer, in my first court orders counselling session I was given a list of options to try, some involved drinking, some not. I chose the controlled drinking plan naturally, and I failed at that in two days. Then I chose the local rehab which gave me a few months of miserable sobriety, then I failed at that approach.
Next was AA. That worked. But wasn't the path I took suggested in the Big Book " you can easily diagnose yourself etc"?
the counsellors in those days were more closely aligned with the ideas in the book. They told me what alcoholism was about but they seemed to know moderation would not work, and just put it up as an option to try.
Perhaps today there are some who, due to political correctness, are obliged to suggest that it is possible for alcoholics to moderate, and of course there are miracle drugs to help with that. But we still see people arriving in AA having been unsuccessful with those approaches.
Medicated "harm minimisation" to me is like palliative care. I.e " while a full recovery is not possible,we'll keep you as comfortable as possible while we wait for the end".
I just sort of intuitively knew to go to AA. I could be wrong but harm reduction I believe is often sought out by folks that fail in AA or maybe in combo with naltrexone or something like that. It would not have worked for me but I don't think I would have considered it even if it was suggested. I already had tried countless "ways" to not cause harm with my drinking and failed.
__________________
Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
